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New and Scared...



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Hi,

This is my first forum about weight loss surgery - the first one I am posting to I mean. I've finally decided to have the surgery, I've put it off for years, my doctor has been trying to get me to do it forever now... I'm in denial I guess. So I think I'm going with the band, I see the surgeon next month so I'm not sure yet. I already have pre-cert from insurance. My physical is this afternoon...... I guess I have two big fears, one some thing going wrong, I have three kids and they need a mother. Two, going through all this and still not losing the weight.... has that ever happened??? Thanks for having this forum, it looks like a really great place!

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My two biggest fears are the same as yours. Something going wrong, I'm a widow, my children (ages 13 and 15) have already lost their dad to cancer, they need me, nothing can go wrong; and second, failing at losing weight again. I've looked into this surgery for about five years now. After much research I know the surgery risks are minimal and I'm positive I'm going to be ok, and second I am determined to lose this weight, the band will be my tool to success. Good luck!!

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Thank you! I do have my husband but both of my parents died when I was little and I'm always afraid of leaving my children... I guess it's the choice between being here now and watching them live or having the surgery and TAKING part in their lives from here out?? When are you having your surgery?

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being afraid is understandable... especially when children are involved but the lap-band is much safter with less complications than gastric bypass or the sleeve. don't let the surgeon to try to pursuade you to have a surgery you don't want.

sure, some people don't lose weight. the band can only help so much. take me for instance....

i need to lose 85 pounds. i've lost 42 pounds in 4 months just by changing my diet and not eating as much BUT it's now been almost 6 months and i'm still at the 42 pound mark. why? because i haven't exercised one bit.

so my new goal has been to start running. i found a running class with a trainer and i've begun my exercising. i have signed up to run a 5k (3.1 miles) on 11/22/08... that's 7 weeks away and i can only run 1/4 of a mile. is it doable? yes... with some hard work from me!

my point is... the band is what you make of it. if you don't want to put some effort behind it you probably will lose some weight but not all you want or need.

you also have to be prepared to not eat some foods you may love now. some people can't eat red meat or bread or even chicken anymore. i can not eat ground meat or bread which means no hamburgers and no pizza... probably ever again.

but i'm okay with that because now i'm having the best time finding hundreds of different ways to cook chicken or learning that i like tilapia, etc.

it's all in what you make of the process. i'm determined to become healthy.

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Thanks for the reply, Kris! I had my general check up yesterday and found out I have to restart my 6 month process because she says it has not been documented every month........

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I was just banded two weeks ago today and I understand what you are saying. I am a single mom with a 14 year old daughter. This is what finally made up my mind. Right now, I am healthy. No high blood pressure, cholesterol good, no signs of diabetes. But sooner or later this extreme excess weight is going to show itself in a medical way. Now, does it make more sense to have the surgery healthy or once I have other co-morbids? Easy answer. I want to see my daughter grow up and go to college, get married, etc. If I don't get this weight off, the odds of that happening are getting smaller and smaller. I had fears also and to tell you the truth, I really have no complaints. Listen to what people advise on this board. I started a thread right before my surgery about what to have on hand when I got home from the hospital and I took the advice right down to the letter. It was a lifesaver. Make sure you have a reputable surgeon, one you are comfortable with, and GO FOR IT! Having some trepidation when thinking of having surgery is normal. But look at the long term. And good luck to you.

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Thanks for the info - I'm glad you are doing well and happy with your decision. Was it hard for your daughter?

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Taty was a little scared for me. She wanted a reassurance that "nothing was going to happen to me". I am very honest with my daughter and explained that I can not guarantee that but I went through all the reasons why this was a good decision (I am healthy now except for the weight, the doctor is very reputable, etc.). She was there at the hospital when I came out of surgery and my sister brough her back that evening to see me before she had to go to bed. I came home the next evening and although my mother and sister wanted me to stay at one of their homes that night, I thought it important for Taylor and I to get back into our normal routine so we went home. I also took Taylor to a support group meeting so she could hear other people talk that have already gone through the procedure. Two weeks post-op and seeing me lose weight, she is happy I did it.

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That's great! I'm so happy for both of you! I have three kids and the two youngest are overweight, I hope that if I have this done their eating habits will change by default and we'll all be healthier.

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I felt the same way and when I was being wheeled into the O/R, I almost got up and said I can't do it. Then I thought of my daughter and that the reason I was there in the first place was the hope that this surgery was going to help me add years to my life to share with my daughter. Next thing I knew, it was over and I felt so relieved. Now if I could only have something to eat....I am only a week out of surgery so pickens have been slim...lol good luck.

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Lillith, I have always struggled with weight and so has Taylor's father so she is genetically going into this with a strike against her. I have been talking to her about watching her weight and how it is so easy to put on but hard to take off. Our house now has sf popsicles, lowfat Peanut Butter, lowfat Snacks, etc. Obviously since I am just 2 weeks post op most of this is for her and she really is not minding it. SHE decided to do this and I told her it will take a little while for her taste buds to adjust but it will pay off. She is 5'6" tall and could stand to lose about 25 pounds. I know it has only been about 1 month but she is losing one pound a week. Next week, we both join a gym. The other nice thing, something we can do together. I would never force her to do anything but since starting this process I have been brutally honest with her in regards to living life as an obese person. She is a smart kid so she really wants to do these things which is what I was hoping for.

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It amazes me that you're up and about and posting that soon after surgery! Are you sore at all? Are you actually hungry or just missing real food? ( I know I'll cry the first time I pass the milkshake shop! lol)

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Hey Jetsy - that's great that you can do those things together! My youngest is my biggest concern. She's about 40 pounds overweight and she just turned 9. She's tall and is "big boned", she has bigger feet than I do! But she is definitely too large, I try to bribe her with clothes but I know I'm setting a poor example (at least in the past).

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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