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My step-mother knows everything...(long)



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So yeah, for the first time last night I talked to her about me wanting to have Lap-Band surgery. She works in a hospital in medical records so she thinks she's a doctor by proxy. :teeth_smile:

She says to me "You mentioned this a long time ago and I wasn't too thrilled with it. So I informed her that she was right about me talking about WLS but it wasn't LBS it was GBS. And she said "Noooo it wasn't! It was LBS you were considering!" Yeah ok...anyway. So she says "You go on Weight Watchers and you lose weight just fine." So I said "Yeah, that's why I'm still 120 lbs overweight." So she says "Well that's because you don't stick with it!" :redface: Now this is coming from a woman who is also over weight. Sure, she lost about 40 lbs and has kept it off but she's still a size 18 (she is 5'3") and has diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease. If anyone should be doing this it's her. This is also someone who called me a "fat pig" when I was about 6 or 7 years old and if you saw pics of me from then you would know I was the opposite. I could have stood to gain weight.

So then she proceeds to tell me "I don't know anyone who hasn't had this surgery that hasn't gained the weight back in 5 years." She knows one person and she had GBS and that's just one person and I've never seen this person before so I don't even know for sure that she gained the weight back. My step mother been known to bend the truth or lie when it suits her needs.

So I told her that I know it isn't a magic bullet and that I'm going to have to change my eating habits for the rest of my life but the band is a tool that will help me do something that I haven't been able to do on my own. And I told her that I have given this a lot of thought. A lot of serious thought and I've done quite a bit of research on the surgery so I'm not going in to this blindly. I know all the pros but I also know most, if not all, of the cons.

I lost about 75 lbs on weight watchers when I was 17-18 but...I worked for my parents and being that they wanted me to lose weight I could leave whenever I wanted to go to the gym and I lived at home so my step mother did all the grocery shopping. I lost the weight and then I thought "Cool! I'm done!" Yeah...:wink_smile: Obviously I wasn't. I know now that I won't ever be done. This is something I will have to work at for the rest of my life.

So she says to me "You're going to have to go on a diet for the rest of your life if you do this. Why can't you do it without having surgery?" ARGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :smile2:

Sorry this was so long. I just needed to vent.

Thanks for "listening" :biggrin:

:rant:

Edited by ♥Amy♥

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7_5_142.gifHello Amy. Sorry to hear your having trouble with your step mother. BUT you do what you have to do for YOU. Not her or anyone else. This is a big step and I applaude you for it. Don't worry about what others think. You are going to be healtier and hopefully happier. Who's to say later down the road when she see's how well you are doing she might jump on the band wagon. I just wouldn't vent to her when you are in bandster hell or hit a platue. Good luck hon and keep us posted.

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I think some people just dont want others to succeed. Hang in there and ignore her!
When you find that people are not supportive follow this rule: "stop having That conversation with THAT person." Best wishes.

Exactly what I was thinking!

We all know at least one of this type of person.... you could tell her you're going to school to be a doctor and they'll still tell you how wrong of decision that is... My mom is like that... that's why she doesn't know I ws banded.:teeth_smile:

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She is a HATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO:lol::teeth_smile::lol::wink_smile::lol::biggrin::lol::redface::lol::smile2:

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Here's the good news. We all will encounter a negative person in our journey. You started out right at the beginning. You will learn to overcome the negative comments right from the start. You are doing this for yourself, you know its not a quick fix, therefore you are well on your way. You will do fine even though you may have ups and downs during this process your step mother does not need to be one of them. When my mother begins to say something I do not care to hear the door bell rings or call waiting beeps.

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I understand where you are coming from too. I have had some issues similar to this one with my mother. Now that I am banded we don't talk about it at all and she is looking into having GBS. I feel as though she was jealous of my decision, because we both have always been overweight together. Now that I have made a positive change...I think she feels as though she will be alone in her weight battle. I have learned not to talk about it with my mom, unless she asks!

Remember you have to make this decision for you and ONLY YOU! Good luck!

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Tell her dieting is like holding your breath. You can only do it so long. I would love to know the success rate of weight watchers. By success I mean lose the weight, get to goal and keep it off forever. It isn't very high. Most members join, lose, quit and gain then repeat. And they're counting on that. If diets worked no one would ever need to start a new one. Just ignore her and do what you know is right.

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Tell her dieting is like holding your breath. You can only do it so long. I would love to know the success rate of weight watchers. By success I mean lose the weight, get to goal and keep it off forever. It isn't very high.

WW did a study of their program and their average EWL at one year was 10%. And that's only at one year, not 2 years or 5 years or 10 years.

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So this overweight person is putting you down, calling you a fat pig and insisting you don't get surgery? I think my response to her would be, "talk to the hand, the hand listens, the hand cares."

Sounds like you know the facts and you should listen to your own advice. There's always going to be people that want you to live your life on their terms. I bet you that if you went on weight watchers and lost all the weight, she'd still be ragging on you about how right she was and how you should listen and do whatever she says. Yup, I think hater sums it up right.

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You don't need her - you've got us. I agree with what everyone has said. Don't talk to her about it. If you don't live with her, and you are not asking her to pay for it, then who cares what she says. I lost 107 pounds on Weight Watchers... I think I was at goal for 4 minutes. We can all lose it, but keeping it off...... You sound like a very wise woman.... much wiser than your step mother. Keep your conversations with her about the weather or the price of eggs. Good luck to you!! Keep us posted. You've got lots of support here!! Becky

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