How do I deal with an unsupportive family?

BLUEZBANDIT · September 22, 2008

Sounds like you are better off without them. If your mom was dying and you could give her mouth to mouth to save her, why would you bother! You weren't good enough for her then so you would bother when she needed you most.

Thats what I feel anyway!

September 22, 2008

No Blue, this is my father's side of the family, I would save my mom's life any day, she is my best friend and was the only thing keeping me sane when his side of the family was tearing me apart, not sure where you read that about her.

September 22, 2008

Gina - that is plain awful and evil, and I am sorry that's how they treated you!I can absolutely relate, but that is truly brutal. Do you intend on seeing them when you get to goal? Do they know about your surgery? Elusive, it's my dad's family, not my husband (I'm actually single) but I completely agreed with what you said. I recently cut ties with many many friends because they were just plain awful. Now I have a lot less to do on the weekends, but I don't have to have anything to do with their lifestyles I don't agree with or their negative energies. And I never thought about it, but you are SO RIGHT that they will find other stuff, like not doing it sooner or having a band in the first place. Thanks again for all the insight.

GinaJ · September 25, 2008

Gina - that is plain awful and evil, and I am sorry that's how they treated you!I can absolutely relate, but that is truly brutal. Do you intend on seeing them when you get to goal? Do they know about your surgery? Elusive, it's my dad's family, not my husband (I'm actually single) but I completely agreed with what you said. I recently cut ties with many many friends because they were just plain awful. Now I have a lot less to do on the weekends, but I don't have to have anything to do with their lifestyles I don't agree with or their negative energies. And I never thought about it, but you are SO RIGHT that they will find other stuff, like not doing it sooner or having a band in the first place. Thanks again for all the insight.

I will not tell them I had the surgery. My mom use to make ugly comments about my friends that had gastric bypass, like there was something wrong with them to resort to surgery.

My husband left me for another woman when my oldest was 17mos and I was 3mos pregnant. My family could not believe how shocked I was. My mom told me, "Well what did you expect him to do after you gained so much weight". No support at all.

ElusiveQuality · September 25, 2008

Elusive, it's my dad's family, not my husband

Aunts, uncles, cousins? Lose 'em. Don't look back.

I recently cut ties with many many friends because they were just plain awful. Now I have a lot less to do on the weekends, but I don't have to have anything to do with their lifestyles I don't agree with or their negative energies.

You will soon have plenty to do on the weekends. Just learn there are other options.

Manatee · September 25, 2008

Just because they're related doesn't make them non-toxic.

Some people need to be left behind. Move on, and f' em.

October 17, 2008

It was incredibly easy to go through the surgery and not tell them. It was hard the days after not to tell my dad who I love so much, but now that I'm healing, I can't wait to see their faces. They don't deserve to know what I did. They'll never give me credit for it if they know. I am happy with the decision I made! Having my mom here to support me was enough. I don't know what I would've done without her. I feel so bad for people who don't at least have one spectacular parent But still, the other side of the family is about to crap themselves when I start losing a lot :rolleyes2: he he!

grannytwinkie · November 7, 2008

I lost my oldest sister 4 years ago, she loved me no matter what. I also lost my mother 2 years ago who was my strongest supporter. No matter what decisions I made in my life she supported them, whether she agreed with them or not. And she wouldn't let anyone else cut me down in her presence either. No that she is gone I hear about how I should just eat better and exercise, how they don't agree with my lifestyle, how my cousin's daughter had bypass and almost died, etc. etc.

I wish I still had my mom here to support me. I know my Dad is just worried, although I am 5 weeks out and he is fine now. But my siblings are on my nerves all the time. My whole family is overweight, all have type II diabetes and a mutitude of other health problems. I lost my oldest sister almost 4 years ago at age 52 from Lymphoma. I do not want to continue on the path of obesity and end up dying at a young age like she did.

I Have always said friends are family that you choose, so I choose to tell them about my journey and let my family by birth find out some other way! (I only see my siblings on special occassions cause they drive me crazy trying to "save" me all the time). I know that it may seem that I am whining about them when they arent that bad, it is just I have had a lifetime of them not accepting me as I am, that I am sick of it.

So I say to all of the Bandsters: Stay away from people who try to infuence you in a negative way. Seek only positive people to share your life with, cause life is too short to constantly be put down!