female only HELP! A question im embarrased to bring up

Sweet Cutie · August 24, 2008

i had my lap band surgery a year ago ( July 23 2007) and i've lost 100 lbs since then. i was 297 now im down to 200. growing up i was very self conscious about my body and i even debated doing this surgery since id' be naked... but later came to my senses... (i haven't gone swimming in a bathing suit in since i was 8 years old and i haven't worn shorts since i was 10).... i haven't been to a gyno yet and im afraid to .. but at the same time im 20 and i know i should go to one since we have a family history of breast cancer and cervical cancer is rare but its important to check. I'm still very self conscious but i feel that now that i weigh a little less it would be less embarrassing. How should i go about finding a gynecologist...and how do i get over the fear of letting it all get put on display.... i think its more of a mental issue ..... has anyone been through this? What should i do? I don't feel comfortable talking to my mom or friends about it, and i don't know what to do.. HELP :/

Maranda · August 24, 2008

Sweet Cutie, 1st of Congrats on your wt loss!!.. I completely understand where you are coming from. I too was there once in reguards to the gyno.I have not been banded but the wt and gyno issue I understand.

My recommendation is ask some friends who they use. If you dont want them to know you havent been to the gyno yet be vague. Ask around. Also when you make your 1st appt let the receptionist know this is your 1st appt , you are nervous. There is no shame in it. It is one of those things as women you need to do. Once you go you will be relieved. If you are really body conscience perhaps a female would be a better choice of a gyno. I had always preferred female then by fluke ended up with a male on one visit and it was perfectly fine. Once you make the appt that moring go about your typical routine, shower dress and go. There is always debate about leave socks on or off. I leave mine on. THe dr. will ask you ques, do a breast exam and an internal exam which is where they insert a speculum(might of mispelled that) do a swab testing which is not painful and your done. IT may seem like a long time but typically I have had my dr in and out in less than 5mins. You will be fine. Remember to breathe. You will get to keep your gown on during the exam which to me helps. Talk to your friends. Or even your mom/sister or aunt if you are close to them. (I would never of dreamed asking my mom or sister so I was on my own)

Good luck. Keep me posted.

maranda

heartfire · August 24, 2008

I'm sorry you are so scared. I agree that maybe you should find a female gyno. That would be easier on you. I also want to add that in all honesty, they've seen it all and yours is going to be no different from anything else they've encountered.

I used to be pretty shy about it. Then we discovered infertility and all it entails. After awhile I just figured they should all just line up and do their thing and I could get outta there faster! Sheesh! Sometimes I felt like charging admission! Mighta paid for some of the treatments we did! LOL!!

Seriously though, you're now building this up to greater proportions than it deserves. Take a deep breath and make some phone calls. Shoot, if we were closer and I had a sitter that day, I'd go with you for support!

Sweet Cutie · August 24, 2008

Thanks for the response and all the great tips maranda and heartfire :biggrin: .. i think ill try to go to a female and its just that i guess my mom assumed i went to one and we were never that close so it just never came up.. im going to try to go solo and just make the best of it... should i mention that i have a lap band or dose it make no difference? ill start calling some dr.'s up on Monday .. still uneasy about it but i guess it has to be done.

tapshoes · August 24, 2008

Mentioning the lap band would only be in the context of providing a full history to the doctor - there is nothing 'special' about it anymore than mentioning if you've had your tonsils out or any other surgery. Physicians should always know your complete history.

Some gynaecologists have a nurse remain in the exam room - if you would like that, ask if the doc does it; if that would make you more uncomfortable, tell the doctor.

I echo telling the receptionist when you book the appointment that this is your first gyn exam; a good receptionist will ensure that the doc knows and takes the extra time that may be needed to do the complete history, and to spend some time answering your questions.

As someone who ended up with significant uterine growths (leading to an early hysterectomy and other unpleasant things associated with cancer), trust me - your health is more important than a few minutes of embarassment.

raedelicious · August 24, 2008

Also, please remember, you can actually go to the first appt. and not get spread eagle...meet and greet the doc...get everything else taken care of...and if you feel comfortable then do the pelvic...

triser72 · August 24, 2008

If you do have fears about the gyno - ask if they have a nurse practitioner in office who does most of the well-woman exams. I am 36 and have been going to the gyno since I was 14 - my best experiences have been with the nurse practitioner. Sometimes, I feel like a well-woman exam is the lowest priority for an ob/gyn doc. The NP is there to answer your questions, and make you feel at ease. Everyone's experience is different, but DO ask your friends or co-workers - they can tell you who is best.

pennyt · August 24, 2008

Well, I've had two kids, and I think everyone in the hospital had a look each time I was in the hospital for delivery. Even with that, I'm still bashful about going to the gyn. I see a female nurse-pract now, and it took a while to find one I was comfortable with. My first appt with her was a get to know each other kind of meeting, fully dressed. I felt like I could talk to her, even naked, so I scheduled my annual exam.

My last gyn was a man, and I felt OK with him, but that's because my cousin's daughter was his nurse. She stayed in the room with me, and we joked around during the exam, which made it fun (ok, not fun, but not horrible).

My advice is to find someone you feel comfortable with before you ever take off your clothes. Get to know the person at a get acquainted appt before you make an appt for the full exam. If you don't feel comfortable, you won't talk, and that's what causes problems.

Talk to your friends, and find out who they recommend. If you don't want to disclose that you've never had a PAP, just tell them you're looking for a new doctor and want recommendations.

Carrie_C · August 24, 2008

I can totally sympathize with you. I have horrible stretch marks on the inside of my thighs and I am SO embarrassed when I go to the gyno. I feel like the stretch marks are all they see. I know that's not true, but I have thoughts of them laughing at me when I leave. (Totally irrational, I know). I would also suggest a female for the first time at least. I also see a nurse practitioner, and I feel like she provides better care than doctors and she takes more time with me. Not to be personal, but if you are not on some kind of birth control, maybe you should consider it because we get more fertile as we lose weight.