Are you keeping your lap band a secret, or telling everybody?

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

The only people that know are my boyfriend, my best friend, and my kids.

I didn't want to hear "how much have you lost now" or "you took the easy way out"

I was exercising for 3 years 6 days a week before getting my band, so most people think it's just from all the exercise I do.

Edited September 8, 2008 by Oregondaisy

[Janine 0]

So being rebanded I have been down this road before.

I fe;t the only hard thing when telling people especially

co-workers is that they want to see immediate results

like what you get from the rouyn Y.

Other than that telling people was fine for me.

[K-Indy 0]

I'm getting banded on September 16. I have been very careful about who I tell in advance because I don't want anybody raining on my parade! It took a lot of careful consideration and prayer for me to make this decision and I refuse to let anyone try to turn this into something about them. This is all about me. I went to a plus size store to buy some loose fitting clothes to wear home from the hospital. The saleswoman who has been there for years tried to talk me into buying more stuff because they were having a sale. I told her no and that I was purchasing my last size 20 clothes. She asked me why I said that and I told her I was having LB surgery. She tried to talk me out of it saying she "heard" it was not a good idea and all I had to do was what she did and eat less and exercise. I politely told her that my decision was not up for discussion and it really did not matter what anyone else thought about it. I have made up my mind that I will talk about it when it becomes obvious that I am losing weight if someone asks me. I will not do the Star Jones and pretend that I lost 85 pounds but by eating right and doing Pilates. If I could do this on my own, I would have. I hope to be a positive example of how LB can work to help get me to a healthy weight. I even had a situation where I told a close friend and when I told her what weight I was going down to, she tried to tell me that was too low. She did finally admit that she was envious because even though she is overweight, she only needs to lose about 35 pounds and would not qualify for LB. She has not been able to get control of her weight either. I think her fear is that for the first time, I will be slimmer than her and I don't think she likes that. We will see if our friendship will endure through my weight loss. If she can't be happy for me, then she really is not a true friend. I'm a big girl and I can handle that. I don't expect everyone to be happy for me and that is okay. It is what it is.

[hazE24 0]

Ive told everybody and their mother. I like sharing what I've been through and what I'm still going through. I could careless what people have to say after I've shared my secert on losing weight. Most just say cool , others say let me get the doctor's number...lol

[pandagirl 0]

As my date grows closer, I am leaning toward only telling a few close friends about my surgery. I suppose this is due to embarassment, that I could not lose weight the "normal" way, whatever that means. Also, I've had a lifetime of comments from family, and just do not want to go there.

Is anybody else hesitating to spill the Beans to friends, coworkers, etc?

I told everybody and even had them sign my fat pants!!!!

[BLUEZBANDIT 0]

I told the people who see me regularly so they wont worry that I'm getting thin means I might have cancer but not the occasion visitors as I think it would be fun to get some real natural reactions when they see that you have gotten slimmer.

[allielee 263]

I have told everyone and anyone..lol.. I am proud of getting the lapband. I am saving my life!!! I look at it as a positive choice. So many of my friends who were banded were afraid of negative comments, I believe it weeds out the bad seeds.. I figure if someone give me a negative response just weed them out.. I don't want unsupportive people in my life. I have not had one bad comment. I am an outside sales rep and have told all my customers, friends and family. I think if you say it as a positive they feel it as a positive.. but if you say it like you are embaressed or in a negative way people can pick up on that.. I am excited and proud I did this!! I just want to shout it from the rooftops..lol

[debbieperez55 0]

Because of the rescheduling of my surgery, I ended up telling the people in my office. Because I am the Manager, I didn't want them to see this as a weakness. I am using my vacation because I wanted to keep this privite. I was going to tell after. Now, I just had to tell.

The Dr rescheduled me on Payroll week, on our most hectic day, with two others out on Medical Leave and my receptionist having a vacation day. Bad timing all around. But everyone was supportative, they understood, and they have all offered to pitch in to make sure the office runs smoothly. And, I now have access to our computer system at home. I get to Telecommute!!! Put me at ease and my Boss.

I have lost, I believe, close to 30 pounds, I need a scale. My pants are falling off, my Mom is taking them in this weekend. So everyone knew something was up.

So I know I said I was keeping it a secret, but in the end, telling was best. Only one person was negative, all in all pretty good. :thumbup:

Three more days, Tuesday, the start of my new life. Debbie

[annecolorgreen 0]

So far, I've told dh, my mom, and my supervisor (to get time off approved). Two other people know who have had the surgery. I am debating telling my teen daughters. Dh doesn't think I should...that they won't understand that I've worked for this "tool". I'm still undecided.

~~anne

[*slim* 2]

I started out saying I was only telling the person taking me to the hospital (I was separated at the time). Then I had to tell DH after he moved back in. Then I told my mom (she can't hold water). I told my supervisor at work because I knew she would understand and not be judgemental. I told one good friend that I trusted. Now I have told a few other people, but I regret it. Some are going to watch everything that I eat and question my weight loss (or lack thereof).:girl_hug: I don't want the scrutiny. That has been my biggest issue from the beginning. I don't need the food police watching every bite that goes into my mouth. :smile2: I also don't need the unsupportive people in my life questioning why I have either lost too much weight (they are all heavy) or why I haven't lost enough weight after spending money on it. It is a lose/lose situation.:biggrin: I can only hope that as I am more comfortable with myself and my band that I will change my mind. :sneaky: I have a few family members that have looked into WLS that I think could really benefit from something like the band. I guess we shall see.

[debbieperez55 0]

I started out saying I was only telling the person taking me to the hospital (I was separated at the time). Then I had to tell DH after he moved back in. Then I told my mom (she can't hold water). I told my supervisor at work because I knew she would understand and not be judgemental. I told one good friend that I trusted. Now I have told a few other people, but I regret it. Some are going to watch everything that I eat and question my weight loss (or lack thereof).:girl_hug: I don't want the scrutiny. That has been my biggest issue from the beginning. I don't need the food police watching every bite that goes into my mouth. :sad: I also don't need the unsupportive people in my life questioning why I have either lost too much weight (they are all heavy) or why I haven't lost enough weight after spending money on it. It is a lose/lose situation.:biggrin: I can only hope that as I am more comfortable with myself and my band that I will change my mind. :smile2: I have a few family members that have looked into WLS that I think could really benefit from something like the band. I guess we shall see.

Just a little advice. Tell them to "BITE ME". :smile2:

Okay, don't be rude , but you are doing this for you. Other "fat" people just don't get it and they resent that you will be loosing. They ARE going to try to help you fail. Stick with those who support your decision. I told a work friend, who I thought would understand. She has Lupus, she should understand. WRONG I am so sorry.

But 99% of those I have told show support, and it helps that I am doing so well on my pre op program. Even those who are thin at work have trouble maintaining it. So for me they were happy. The one large person in my office, I simply told her that this is the path I have choosen. She asked if our insurance paid, and I lied and told her I am covered my hubby. It is no one's business and if she wants this she needs to do the leg work herself.

Anyway my point is, stick to those who support you. The others are very jelous and they will try to bring you down.

And if you get one of those food police, you might want to consider telling them to back off, or BITE ME might work too :wub:

We are here to support you. And it doesn't matter if insurance paid or you are self pay, we all have tried and failed. Oh we know how to loose it, we have all lost hundreds of pounds and gained them back. We are choosing to utilize a tool to help us once and for all keep it off.

Take care Debbie :sneaky:

[*slim* 2]

And if you get one of those food police, you might want to consider telling them to back off, or BITE ME might work too :girl_hug:

I think that works for me! ROFL Thankfully, I don't spend that much time with the food police (except my 11 year old son).

[debbieperez55 0]

I think that works for me! ROFL Thankfully, I don't spend that much time with the food police (except my 11 year old son).

Glad you appreicated my warped sense of humor. :girl_hug:

OKAY - 11 year old son, no, don't say bite me. But tell the others to BACK AWAY FROM THE DESK!!! :biggrin: (of course you know other unmentionable words might come to mind, we might want to keep those to ourselves) :smile2:

I think it's going to be hard for all of us, we are always scrutinized. Just try to ignor them. This is so hard for us and frankly if they can't something supportive they should just shut up. Whoops, I guess I have some unresolved anger issues...... Don't tell my shrink, he might decide I am off my rocker after all.............. :smile2::lol::wub::sad: Watch out, here comes the men with the little white coat, the net and the padded cell. Well maybe the padded cell..............

Hang in there, Take Care Debbie :sneaky:

Oh I guess I should mention, I have two days to go. I am ready to jump out of my skin and I guess I am getting an "little" anxious. Maybe I should quit while I am ahead. Ha ha ha ha ha

Edited September 21, 2008 by debbieperez55

[K-Indy 0]

I was only telling a few select people who I knew would be helpful to me in this. I told my boss, who in turn told my manager. The day before my surgery she stopped by my desk to talk and I found out she wants to have WLS also. I told one coworker and my HR person. As far as friends, I told some people at church that I was having outpatient surgery, however did not tell them what kind. I told one friend at church who is also considering WLS. Today, my DH went to church and told a friend of his. He went into detail as to the type of surgery I had. I am upset with him because I told the people I wanted to share this with. He said he didn't feel like lying and anyway, I should not be ashamed that I am doing this because it is for health reasons and he told him that. Still didn't help me. His wife is a friend however is not someone I wanted to share this with at this stage. I am planning on telling other people as my weight loss becomes evident. I just don't want people watching and waiting and asking me how much I've lost and on and on. I think that should be my choice. I know I will be successful, but I really don't need anybody keeping tabs on me. So, yes, I was trying keep it a secret for now.:girl_hug:

236/233/225/155

high/surgery date/current/goal

[*slim* 2]

Glad you appreicated my warped sense of humor. :girl_hug:

OKAY - 11 year old son, no, don't say bite me. But tell the others to BACK AWAY FROM THE DESK!!! :biggrin: (of course you know other unmentionable words might come to mind, we might want to keep those to ourselves) :smile2:

I think it's going to be hard for all of us, we are always scrutinized. Just try to ignor them. This is so hard for us and frankly if they can't something supportive they should just shut up. Whoops, I guess I have some unresolved anger issues...... Don't tell my shrink, he might decide I am off my rocker after all.............. :lol::wub::sad::tt2: Watch out, here comes the men with the little white coat, the net and the padded cell. Well maybe the padded cell..............

Hang in there, Take Care Debbie :sneaky:

Oh I guess I should mention, I have two days to go. I am ready to jump out of my skin and I guess I am getting an "little" anxious. Maybe I should quit while I am ahead. Ha ha ha ha ha

I might actually have to tell my son to bite me anyway.

I think the people in the white coats have been on to me for a while, but the figured there was just no hope.:smile2:

Don't jump out of yor skin. You are going to do so well that you won't even remember being nervous at all. I hope. Well, maybe not. hahahaha