FUMING MAD!! Need to vent!!

laraestokes · May 27, 2005

Well my best friend has a weight problem-bigger then mine, plus a whole host of medical problems to go with it and she thinks this was my "easy way" to lose weight. I also got the Portion Control speech, and I have seen her portions and that is why she isn't losing-but me and my band keep me in check, so there is no cheating! She seems happy for me and my weight loss-but still doesn't think people should do that to their bodies? And she has told many of her docs that she sees for her medical problems have all told her she would be a candidate for WLS. I guess I want to see my children graduate and get married and start their own families, and I knew if I didn't do something with my weight I wouldn't be here as long.

2bthin · June 4, 2005

I don't understand why people can be so mean about those of us who are "fluffy." I teach school at an alternative placement center (punative middle school where students go to school for 60 days as punishment for things like drugs, alcohol, knives, guns, threats, etc... some for doing stupid things like pulling fire alarms, etc.). I love my job with the kids.... if someone gets mad at me and calls me a "fat (whatever)," I don't even flinch. I reply... with "Oh, really? Tell me something that I don't already know." or... I prefer to think of myself as fluffy. Frequently, I'll say something about being fluffy or fat so they will think calling me names with regards to my weight won't hurt my feelings. (I mean, at 350 pounds don't you think they'd know that I'm fat?!) Anyway... I digress....

What really hurts is the comments made by my fellow teachers. One time a student called his art teacher by my name (hey, it happens... sometimes they call me "mom") and her reply to the student was, "Oh I couldn't be Mrs. W. I'd need two chairs to sit on!" The students were so enraged by her comment that when they came to my class the next period they told me what she had said and wanted me to fight her! :-) It put me on the spot, because I had to tell them that it was okay, that 2 wrongs didn't make a right, etc., etc., etc. The more I kept saying that we weren't going to talk about it anymore, the more they insisted that I tell the principal and the more upset I became-- not at being called fat, but because it angered them so much. I was so touched by these kids, who really don't have such a great homelife, who really don't care about anything or anyone, and they were so angry that some adult should say something like that about me. So... I started to cry (and one of the teenage girls came up to me and hugged me and said, "Oh, poor thing," in Spanish. I'm going to get my friends to beat up that "b". This made me laugh, but it took over a year for the kids to forget about this teacher.

Then another one, who heard that I was dieting made a comment to her friend... "Oh, she'll never lose that weight."

The moral of this story is that I haven't told many people at work. They just don't understand, or want to understand. To those people I just have to learn to accept them for what they are. They will have to deal with their own demons.

Well... I've ranted enough. Back to my Serenity Prayer.

2BTHIN

the best me · June 4, 2005

Great post 2B! Thanks! You have a great attitude. That is so sweet about the way those kids care about you. It speaks volumes for your character. Well done.

Eileenja · June 4, 2005

Dear 2B Thin

I am so sorry that you have experienced some very nasty, negative, not to mention unprofessional people in your life. Since you work with kids, you can use this to teach them how to react to other harmful/hurtful situations that they may find in their lives. Obviously, you are doing a wonderful job if your students are willing to go to bat for you! Good for you to be the better person! (and I know it's not one bit easy!)

2bthin · June 5, 2005

Another thing that really chaps my hide is the way people treat the obese. Don't they realize that we all have feelings and that discrimination hurts? Am I being overly sensitive? I wasn't always this heavy and I sure was treated much nicer when I was thinner. I'm secretly (well, not so secretly now) wondering and planning and plotting of just how many pounds I might be able to lost before I go back on August 15th. That's about 9 weeks from the date of my lap band. Hmmmmm Looking forward to seeing the expressions on everyone's faces when I walk in. And.. no... I ain't tellin' anyone! :devious

Eileenja · June 5, 2005

I know what you mean, people can really stink. Are you taking off from now till August 15th?

Good for you!!!! I didn't tell too many people - only those who are close to me. I consider it my personal business.

2bthin · June 5, 2005

Actually, I'm on summer vacation from my 'regular teaching job'. I still have my online college courses, but I can do those from home/wherever I happen to be. I start working next Monday for Harcourt Assessment, which is 1/2 mile down the road from me. (Hey... we gotta pay for all this somehow, right?)

I always wanted to be a member of a band.... hehehehehehehehe

Hugs,

Joan waiting

2BTHIN

Persimmon · June 8, 2005

Yup yup clueless. She has no point of reference cuz obviously her body's hunger/satiety mechanisms WORK. Yours doesn't.

I had a similar conversation with a friend who just wasn't getting it...also naturally slender...I asked *How do you know to stop eating?* She said *Well, I get full and I stop*. I replied *Right...so what would happen if you never got that signal that you were full? Or that signal was very delayed?* *Oh, I'd still stop* *Would you? Would you actually know to stop or be able to stop? Do you measure out your food just in case?* *No, but I'd just know.* *How??? What if your body just simply didn't give you any indication you'd had enough?*

Well, after going round and round on that for quite some time, she did finally start to understand that my body was very different from hers...perhaps it took me telling about the one Thanksgiving where I had gone back for 2nds and 3rds and literally had food coming back up AND was still experiencing ravenous hunger pangs.

It's really frustrating when folks just can't wrap their heads around the idea that we KNOW eating less would let us lose weight...but that our bodies really fight that...if only it was that simple...gah!

Nancy