My thoughts of my hospital stay as a more averaged sized person (not lapband surgery)

blahblahblah · July 15, 2008

Hello all,

I was just in the hospital overnight after having a sling placed under my urethra to help support it. This was my first time in a hospital as a more average sized person....I thought I would share the experience with you.

Well, upon arrival i was given a gown. An extra large gown...It embarrassed me and made me feel as though everything I have worked for was for naught....But then i put it on and it was so enormous I could slip it off of me without untying the neck tie. It slid right down my shoulders. I HATED wearing it...It made me feel so similar to when I was MO...It, of course, had a different pattern than the rest of the gowns...so I just felt awful..Additionally, it was so large it was uncomfortable because the extra material bunched up...and I was anxious about my boobs showing.

Other than that, I can honestly say that this was my best visit to a hospital. When they moved me from the OR bed to the stretcher, I didn't worry that they would drop me. They also didn't have to call in extra people to help them. The person pushing the stretcher didn't look as though she was going to pass out while pushing me. I felt more comfortable in the bed. The support hose they made me wear fit and were comfortable (hot as hell, but comfortable). And the list goes on and on.

Whereas I once would have been concerned about whether I would be hungry and want more food, I barely ate anything and was totally fine with it. It wasn't a travesty that the food was gross, I didn't really care---I was more than content to read my book. That, as far as i'm concerned, is a huge HUGE HUGE difference for me!

Additionally, I felt almost normal sized as I sat in that bed...I didn't feel ashamed of myself as I have always felt in the past. I wasn't mortified when people saw me naked. (However, I must point out, that I almost look worse naked now than I did 116 lbs ago!!!---lots of ewwey skin on my tummy!) I never heard, wow, you're a big woman...I just heard that I was tall...and to be honest, i am very tall...so I always hear that. But tall is certainly easier to swallow than BIG...

It's funny, I still really perceive myself as an MO woman. I don't think of myself as more average sized...I tend to think that i never will.... but I definitely noticed a difference this time I was in the hospital...I'm not sure if it is a difference in myself or a difference in how I was treated, or both...but I loved it and it is only one more in a long laundry list of why I love having made the choice to be banded.

Oh well...off to take some percocet and fall asleep...Just thought I would share.

Rain

libra · July 15, 2008

Good for you! It's interesting how you can find an NSV in a hospital stay.

Insky67 · July 15, 2008

What a great experience to share with us. It's funny how little things like that gown can make us feel, but those feelings are so real.

Congrats on your weight loss and hard work!

Robin

Northwest_Nance · July 16, 2008

You look great! Thanks for sharing this..... it's all these "little" things that keep us going on this journey. Glad your surgery went well too and that you're home.

GayleTX · July 16, 2008

Funny you should post this.....I had a very similar experience just last week. Had a heart cath (something I've had done many times before) but this time the experience was very different.....before my biggest fear was being dropped or of having a nurse get hurt trying to lift or turn me. Before, they would have to pull my belly up and then tape it to the sides of the bed to hold it back so they could cut iinto the artery in my groin - very humiliating!!! This time I recovered quicker, had less pain, slept more comfortably in the bed. Before I had wls, I had said many times 'I don't want to be skinny, I don't want to be sexy.......all I want is to be somewhat normal.' And normal feels awfully good, doesn't it!!!

juliegeraci · July 16, 2008

Hi Rain, that is great honey. Sorry about the gown. Mine was big on me too when I went for my latest OBGYN appointment. And today at our corporate offices where I occassionally visit an old friend she he didn't recognize me. Now that is inspiration.