Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

A thought...especially for the moms on the forum



Recommended Posts

I went to my bariatric surgeon today to get a slight adjustment to my band and we were talking about the positives losing so much weight has had on my life. I was speaking about how thrilled I am that my girls are watching a healthier mom who gets up and moves and takes walks and jumps on the trampoline etc..instead of sitting like a sloth in my chair like I used to. While I was on my tirade, he stopped me to say(something like) this:

"Yes, it is great that your kids have a better role model, but the best part is that YOU are having fun. After a life of being trapped and virtually unable to have fun because of your weight, you are having fun...and while the benefits are good for your kids, you're the best part of losing the weight."

HOLY SMOKES...He was right. I forgot about me.

I, for one, feel infinitely better and am thrilled to be doing this for myself...And I did need to be reminded of that....As a mom, I think I make the mistake of putting my children before me at all times...But I have to remember that one day they will move out and I will be left with myself...so it is imperative that I remember that my weight loss is for me.

I have to love myself enough to accept that I am important enough to be the reason.

Just a thought.

Edited by Rainer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went to my bariatric surgeon today to get a slight adjustment to my band and we were talking about the positives losing so much weight has had on my life. I was speaking about how thrilled I am that my girls are watching a healthier mom who gets up and moves and takes walks and jumps on the trampoline etc..instead of sitting like a sloth in my chair like I used to. While I was on my tirade, he stopped me to say(something like) this:

"Yes, it is great that your kids have a better role model, but the best part is that YOU are having fun. After a life of being trapped and virtually unable to have fun because of your weight, you are having fun...and while the benefits are good for your kids, you're the best part of losing the weight."

HOLY SMOKES...He was right. I forgot about me.

I, for one, feel infinitely better and am thrilled to be doing this for myself...And I did need to be reminded of that....As a mom, I think I make the mistake of putting my children before me at all times...But I have to remember that one day they will move out and I will be left with myself...so it is imperative that I remember that my weight loss is for me.

I have to love myself enough to accept that I am important enough to be the reason.

Just a thought.

I had a similiar experience last week at the plastic surgeon consult. while Dr was asking examining me naked. And I was trying not to cry from being so mortified at anyone having to see my deflated body, he asked what bothers me most and what did I want to have done first? I turned to my husband and asked him,,, His answer was, Nothing about you bothers me honey, I love you just the way you are, BUT I know that there are things that bother you and I know that YOU would be happier with a TT. BUT again I am only here to supoprt you and stand beside you whatever you and the Dr decide....... Ahhh I love that man........ :unsure:

Rain you look wonderful, you have come so far and your face shows so much happiness. Keep up the wonderful journey for yourself,,, and your family.:thumbup::wub:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! What great stories! And both of your stories are true in that we are ultimately doing this for ourselves but we tend to forget that and focus on others, as usual! Women are very good (bad) at doing that! thanks for sharing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rainer:

You've done amazingly well. I have to admit that I have too. It does feel so good to be able to move again. I was getting bored with walking so I bought a trikke. Now I love exercising. It's so much fun that I forget that it's a workout because it feels like playtime to me.

Enjoy your newfound freedom from the fat. I wish I had a trampoline because that sounds like a blast too.

Thanks for sharing your happy feelings. I think that happy feelings can be contagious once shared!

Take care.

Sue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree Rain, that we do tend to put our kids first----and mine are all closer to 30 than 20 now!!! I just wanted to add, that while it truly IS important to do this for you---the lessons you are giving to your children by doing something like this for yourself are wonderful!! They see you taking care of yourself, and they learn to take care of themselves. The new ways of eating and exercise are lessons they will have with them all their lives. So by doing this for YOU......YOU pass on wonderful life lessons for them to carry on.

While my DD's are as I say older 25 & 26, it was impressive even to them for Mom to commit and actually do it and follow through and be successful, I could not ask for them to be prouder of me! It feels great to show them that they can do things for themselves and not be viewed as shallow or selfish.

Especially important lessons for daughters I think.

Congrats on your success!

Kat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, aren't families wonderful sometimes? I was talking to my daughter about my surgery and how much better I will feel and look and she looked at me and said, 'Mom, I love you no matter how much you weigh, you're the best', I thought I was going to cry. She is 15 and the sweetest girl in the world!! (I may be biased) Anyway, your doctor is right, you are the best part of this and by recognizing your value you have done the right thing for you and your family. Keep up the good work!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well stated!!!! Congrats on your wonderful weight loss. It is nice to actually be able to say that I did something for myself. I have a 2 year old and wanted to be around longer for him and be able to keep up with him. But I definitely did this for myself too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, I am really going through the same thing. I had my surgery on 10/11/07 and lost 78 pounds by Easter. Well, I have gained back 34 since then. I cannot get enough sugar. Cookies, ice cream, chocolate, I feel like I eat it non-stop. Getting fills makes it harder to eat the healthy stuff, so I end up with the stuff that does go down. The more sugar I eat the more I want! I feel a huge cloud of depression when I think about how well I was doing. I was exercising an hour a day and wasn't eating anything bad for me. I got off track, and now I'm in a downward spiral. I went to my doctor's office and the nurse said I still have to have self-control. I thought afterward that if I had self-control, I wouldn't have needed the lap-band! How are you guys losing over 100 pounds! I need to lose another 100 to get to a 'normal' weight, and with my addiction to sugar I just don't think it's possible. I am so impressed by those of you who are so close to goal.

Well, the first thing you need to do it to get off that sugar!!!!! You are feeding your addiction with sugar. NOT GOOD!!!! Stop!!!!!! If you are so tight you just eat junk, get an unfill for awhile so you can eat something that is good for you. The only way is to NOT eat sugar. Later on you may be able to add it in, but if you can't without losing control, then don't. You can do this. You can do this for you!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×