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Stewart Smalley was a guy that attended all sorts of 12 step programs. He had low self esteem. He did affirmations. He looked at himself in the mirror and said "I am good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it people like me"

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One of the things that got me fat though, was anti depressants. I was on them for years. I didn't know until years later that one of the side effects was weight gain.

Ditto ditto ditto, unfortunately. I maintained a size 14 until I got on anti-depressants and now am a 28. :thumbup: Really really sux.

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This thread has gone from the ridiculous to the sublime. Now that's an expression, so please don't try to decide who I'm talking about on either end! We ranted, we raved, we got excited, we got hurt, we worked through it, and cooler heads have prevailed. It is an example of why I don't like to see moderators shut down discussion no matter how heated it gets. We are adults. We don't always act like it, but if a voice comes down from above and tells us to behave, we don't really learn anything; we just go to bed mad.

I don't have anyone on ignore. As far as I know, and I don't even care to know if there is a way to check, no one has me on ignore. (Don't burst my little bubble if that isn't true.) I like to know what is going on, and I can then choose to ignore or not.

We show only parts of our personalities on a forum like this, and while I may think I know some people here quite well, I am also sure that what I know is a very thin slice of what those people really are. So why should I ignore anyone? They may have wisdom to share on some topic that I can't even dream of.

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go to youtube.com and see if you can download the trailer from "Stuart Saves His Family" kind of cute, where they took his character from SNL and made a movie out of it. I looked for clips from SNL but couldn't find any. I'm not good at posting them here like everyone else can, sorry. Nanook.

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That was a funny movie. I really loved that character. I forgot all about the movie.

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We don't always act like it, but if a voice comes down from above and tells us to behave, we don't really learn anything; we just go to bed mad.

Actually, A voice did come from above telling everyone to behave. Several as a matter of fact. LOL! We chose, the mods collectively, to keep this thread open because we did see something beneficial coming from it but we needed the personal attacks to stop. I think it's great that with a little reminder, everything went back on track. There is a lot we can learn about ourselves and each other from this thread. I'm glad that everyone "snapped out of it" and got back to making "meaningful" posts.:thumbup:

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snowbird- awesome post. I totally agree with everything you said.

I hate it when they shut down a thread because I've seen this happen many times. And when the anger is spent and reasonable heads prevail, we can go to bed feeling better instead of mad, just as you said.

It's like having a spat with your spouse. If you are stopped in the middle of an argument, the anger grows and the next round gets worse. If you're able to talk it out, you can go to bed and have sex. :thumbup:

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Well, you guys can fight amongst yourselves all you want, but when it is all said and done, I am not having sex with all of you!!!! I simply don't have that much energy. :thumbup:

Seriously though, we did agree not to close the thread. However, as Libra already said, it was getting extremely personal and vicious in the attacks on one another, and it was necessary for moderator intervention to get things back on track. We can't just sit back and let LBT turn in to the WWF or whatever the name is of those wrestling shows nowadays.

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aw shucks, we could do some serious WWL chair throwing (or WWF, or whatever the pro wrestling show is) and then have hot, sweaty sex.

Wait a minute, did I get this thread mixed up with a different one? Hmmm, my testosterone level might need to be checked.

Seriously, Susan I do understand the need for intervention sometimes. I've seen some rough posts occasionally that were very hurtful. That's uncalled for and you're right to put a stop to it.

But for the most part, a little venting of the spleen now and then is good for what ails us. (Usually hormone power surges for the women)

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I am glad this thread was brought to my attention. There were some really good things said about food addiction, addiction in general, mental illness issues etc.

The main thing we all have to remember is we are all here because we want to lose weight or at least not hate each ourselves for being overweight. Obesity is not fun. What is that saying? Misery loves company.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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