male only keeping it a secret

[buxndux 0]

Hey guys me again, as I said earlier i am 1 week out from starting my life with the band. I have decided to try and keep my band a secret from most people, i'm not sure why thats just how i feal right now. I am very interested to hear from some of you on this subject to find out if you all felt the same way or not and was it difficult to keep it a secret from everyone, and did your fealings change later.

It just seams that when you tell someone you had lap band surgery they ( i know i did ) automatically discredit any hard work on your part when it comes to weight loss. I can't wait to hear from some of you on this topic.:thumbup:

[LapBand4Me 0]

I did tell my family after I did it. I have not told my husband's family, it will sure be a surprise when the see me again.

I got some weird reactions from people, but most were positive. I even get a lot of I am so proud of you comments. Why are they proud of me? Because I am doing something about my weight.

I also get some funny comments. People will not actually ask me how much I have lost but "How are you doing?". I tell them I am fine and never felt better. Then they usually say, "How are you doing with that weight loss thing?". It cracks me up.

[Sgt Bob 1]

I have only told a few people, mostly family or close friends and the response has been all positive. I too am hesitant to tell most people and I think it might be due to my own insecurities about what people will think of me. That they might think I am weak for having to result to mechanical means in order to lose weight.

I was also hesitant to tell people when I was dieting in the past, maybe because to tell them would be to admit I was fat, which was hard to admit to myself as well.

You know, like when you would walk past a mirror and purposely not look at yourself?

[mediummike 0]

I was a little hesitant about relling people upfront (my decision, my business) but I always felt if people asked, I would tell. Well, I've kept to that and have told people that prod me on my weight loss and I have received nothing but 100% support and encouragement (e.g., good for you!). A lot of people also follow up with the "but how are you feeling?" in which I honestly reply - I feel great !

[Fenton 3]

Ah, the sarge posts wise!

I've been really open about my band. I told people at work because it was far more efficient to tell them up front about what I was going through. I told my family after I'd had the surgery, because I didn't want them to worry about it.

If you've reached a size where you need banding, your weight certainly isn't a secret - I used to joke about what would happen if my girlfriend found out I was fat. The thing is, the people who care for you want what's best for you, and the band isn't just good for you, it's a life saver.

Everyone I've told has been really really supportive. I don't wear a "Look at me - I'm a fat guy who had weight loss surgery!" T-shirt, but I don't keep it a secret.

And I don't care who gets the credit. My friends see me eating little and exercising more, and they see me losing weight, and they're happy. The important thing is that I'm losing, and they support me in that.

I know some people have had negative reactions when they've told friends/family. The reactions obviously depend on the person, but I think there's a few factors, the key ones being how well they understand what you're doing and your reasons for doing it, and their own screwed-up attitudes. Often, it seems, the most negative remarks come from other fat people who've tried and failed many times to lose weight.

But I've not regretted telling any one; indeed, their love and help and support has been critical to my success.

[bigrick 0]

I have told only my Family and a very few close friends. I know what the people I work with are like and frankly I dont think its' any of their business one way or another what I do. If I were very close with any of them I probably would, but I am not, so I wont. That being said the ones I have told have been nothing but supportive for me and happy I am doing it. Me too!

[LapBand4Me 0]

I sometimes used to hide the fact that I was dieting. I didn't want all the "are you sure you can have that?" comments and keep the saboteurs at bay. Some people just can't wait to see others fail too. I guess they don't feel so bad about their shortcomings then..

[Papa-Bear 0]

In a way, I kind of did this both ways. I was initially supposed to go in for surgery in April 2007. I really did not want to tell anyone. I told my wife (as she was doing it as well), my parents, and a couple of very close friends, but no one else. Figured the same as you, nobody's business. Well,in my pre-op tests, they found a Softball sized tumor in my chest which needed to be removed. Needless to say, this put the whole Lap-band procedure on hold for a while. So, I needed to have a surgery to remove it, cracked open my chest, 6 week recovery time, etc,etc,etc...

Anyways, the point of this rant is the thing that really amazed me is the incredible support I received from those same people I was trying to keep the Lap-Band secret from. Kind of felt silly that I wasn't willing to share this with them. So, when I did finally go in for Lap-Band surgery in December, I shared it with pretty much anyone who asked.

Give people a chance, I think they can be really supportive. But that being said, you know your colleagues best, and you know your personality. I certainly understand both schools of thought, but have no regrets in sharing it. Hope this helps.

[Fenton 3]

God, PapaBear - thank God you had the lap band workup! That must have been pretty scary.

I think you're right about people; I've been surprised by the support I've had from people from whom I'd not expected it.

[mediummike 0]

Reading through this thread I sense a common point - most of us who were initially reluctant to tell people are pleasantly surprised by the support and encouragement we receive after we tell people.

[mamapony 0]

I have only told the one friend that helpped me the few days after surgery. I don't want support or pity or opinions. Had enough of that with the regular diet days. I don't discuss my weight, it has nothing to do with my business relationships, and after way too many years of having the obligation of caring for my sick mom there is no way I was putting that responsibility on my kids that are early 20's and have their own lives! I can take care of myself, this is something I did for myself, and am looking forward to the success of this decision for me. Being selfish can be ok sometimes.

[skierhj 1]

I have only told a few family members and then only because they helped me through the surgery and the days immediately following. Quite frankly, I lied to my friends and co-workers as to what was really going on but, I didn't want to tell them. I'm not sure that my buddies would be all that supportive. Not because they don't care but because they don't understand what being overweight means. They all assume that I'm just a bigger guy and that I can do everything they can. So, I made the choice to keep this private. I took a couple of weeks off work so that by the time I go back they'll think I just had a really good vacation. Then I'll tell them that the diet I started several weeks ago has been working and I'm going to keep with it.

Totally honest? no. Is it the right thing for me? yes.

[tas 0]

I have told only my wife. The guys I work with can be brutal. Another co-worker had gastric bypass surgery last year and they refer to his as "Gutless". I don't want to go down that road. I've tried dieting so many different times and they seem to get great joy out my failing. My plan is to get the surgery done on a Thursday and return to work the following Monday. I won't tell anyone.

[lakrull 0]

I agree, mine was May 13th and I have told few people. I think men are more private. it was a personel decision and I will tell people when they notice a difference in me. I think it will be more interesting when I have lost enought to be obvious.

[jfc193 718]

I am very open with my weight loss and most people are supportive. For me it was a health decesions and people were concern about my health and continue to give me courage.

Plus it is pretty hard to hide when you lose over a hundred pounds.