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As soon as I am around 150lbs I am getting one of those swings. Just like Kathy, I'm afraid that I would cause serious structural damage to my house if I got one now...haha!

I like the idea of getting "The Joy of Sex". There is also a book called "Kama Sutra" that has lots of great ideas. Find a book that is artistic and sexy (rather than cheap and sleazy). Then look it over with your husband. You can look at the pics and get some ideas of things that you might like to try together. Tell him what positions look like they would be fun for you and suggest that you try it. Looking at all the sexy pics will get you and him in the mood, and my guess is you will be having sex right then and there!:woot:

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A few people have mentioned toy stores, more and more common are toy stores really designed to be warmer and more inviting for shy customers. The staff at the ones I've been to are always really happy to answer questions and whatnot, and the stores are brightly lit, and well organized. I've been to some seedy stores, and I just can't make myself buy something from places like that.

I was quite a shy girl before I met my husband. He was shy too, but took the initiative to help us branch out. The biggest thing is communication. If I can't make myself say outloud what I want, I'll tell him in chat at work (or the other way around) and since we work together, he'll give me looks for the rest of the day, or say "so... what are you thinking about right now" as a way to tease me until we get home. :(

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I noticed your in gardena..nice to see another calif girl here! And you've done soooo well! I'm still waiting for approval....sigh....hopefully i'll hear soon....

Your right..I have always been pretty shy too..yet, writing/texting is def an option!

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All ya gotta do is just say what you want. He'll like your boldness. Even if all you say is something like "I want you now". And don't be afraid to give some direction if you feel his performance could be improved. If it's good for you, it'll be all the better for him.

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The one thing that really gets the men is while your at a red light if he is driving flash him your boobies or reach over and touch him making some comments about what you would do to him.

Also when I know he is really busy at work I either call him or leave him messages telling him what I want to do for that night and he tends to get excited about heading home as soon as possible.

The sexy cloths really works great, these are all things that when I was bigger I wouldn't do because I was too embarresed but now I love it and it works every time.

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Its funny because he will be totally distracted and I will pull my shirt down so when he turns my way he is getting flashed he really gets a kick with that or even if you where a skirt just tees him pulling it way up like your going to show something but don't save it for later. This is fun and it brings some excitement to the relationship.

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When my husband and I first got married he was a master gunny in the marine core. We didn't have a lot of money so we always took our lunches to work with us. One day I made him a panty sandwich for lunch. How did I know that a lot of the men under him ( that he was in charge of) would be having lunch with him. Well....everyone thought it was pretty funny and his men always liked me. I guess its because I was always doing things like that to him. One time I even put a pair of black lace panties on our poodle and took her with me when I went to pick him up from the base. I let her run all around his office in them. We are still doing things like this to each other. We have been married 32 years. Well the sex has slowed down some....but the cute things we do to each other hasn't.

I wish you lots of good sex and lots of happy years together.

Edited by crazycat

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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