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dating for my 20's banders



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OK, here is my deal. I have recently started dating since losing weight. Before I lost the weight I had not dated in years!!! Now I am dating and the men I date are hot! They work out 4-6 hours a day, they have amazing bodies. I am so insecure about my body anyway but when you add them into the mix it is too much. This has happen 3 times now with my last boyfriends. I don't seek them out, they find me. Anybody else have this low self esteem problem??? Its not that I don't feel good about myself, I just dont think I can have a relationship with someone this good looking!! Am I crazy or do others go through it too!

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I've dated those super hot guys too, in fact I married to one, he's 6'3" and muscular plus he's a singer in a local rock band OMG talk about the pressure. These kinds of guys are worried about how they look b/c they have self image issues too. If they are coming to you then you have a quaility they like. You choose to loose weight to be healthy, these are the ones that can respect that. They will value you for you strength, dedication and honesty. Don't let yourself miss out on something good b/c you think you're not hot enough for them. If you are still having negitive feelings of self worth then go to a behavioral theropist to work it out. You'll thank yourself for investing in you emotional health just as much as your physical health.

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I dated hot boys while overweight, not sure why they liked me, but whatever! lol. Just relax and get to know them for them. You wouldn't want someone to only want to date you when you were thin and not like you for who you were when you were "less thin", right? So just get to know them give them a chance, and you will find that the self esteem issues will melt away!

btw, nathenag - where in Va are you?

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I am about 30 miles south of Fredericksburg/30 miles north of Richmond along the I-95 corridor

**Most guys I talk to are in shape, they're Marines since that's who I work for, tell me they don't like those model skinny girls, they'd rather have a girl whose curvy or thick and isn't afraid to eat a real meal with them on a date. So don't worry why just enjoy the ride.

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Tappahanock area?! lol, I am trying like heck to figure it out, I am 18 miles east of Fredericksburg!!!! Nice to meet you! haha. Did you know that there is a meet and greet group in Fredericksburg? I haven't talked to the lady yet, but i am planning on sending her a message today.

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Ladysmith in Caroline County just south of Spotsylvania.

I didn't know there was a group in F'burg but I'd love to get togeather with "our kind" hehehe.

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to get back on the subject...ya I know how u feel. I dated a soccer player that was so well built you could bounce a penny off his butt!! And even though Im not comfortable with what I look like, I didnt force him to date me, so mustve been something there he liked! maybe my personality :cursing: whatever the reason, enjoy it..I did

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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