Dearest forum friends, I need your help with figuring the lapband out in my head. I had my first appointment with the surgeon yesterday and it didn't go as well as I had hoped. (I've done everything I need to due to get insurance approval). Here's what happened. We were talking about the band, and he said, "I don't mean to be blunt but I've seen it too often. If you're not willing to change your lifestyle, the band won't work for you." Now, I fully understand that the lapband is just a tool, but my concern is that I've TRIED - I mean REALLY TRIED to change my lifestyle before I decided to get the band, and was unsuccessful. Sometimes at night, I cry because I haven't felt "good" in a very long time, and I know changing my lifestlye is one way to feel better. Question is, I'm afraid that after I get the band, I WON'T be able to change my lifestyle - that it will be just as hard as it is now to change it. Maybe I'm not ready for it yet (even though I was sure that I was). Can any of you shed some light on this for me?

Yes, the band forces a lifestyle change, that's for sure.

Instead of eating 2 combo meals, you eat a few bites. And you may not even order your own...you just eat off your kids.

I, too, believe there are no bad foods, just bad choices. I think this bad food vs. good food mentality is a by-product of the diet industry's approach to losing weight where they try to teach nutrition as a series of catch phrases and where there are whole diets organized around demonizing one particular food group.

Put foods into the Good and Bad buckets is what leads to the attitude that drinking Water with a candy bar is just silly because if you are going to eat a candy bar, you might as well drink soda -- even though a soda and a candy bar is more empty calories than a candy bar alone. Or it leads to not eating the candy bar but eating something else that isn't a particularly good choice either, but it's not a food you've decided is BAD so it seems like you've made a good choice, but you haven't.

Many people don't stop at labeling the foods as good or bad. I've had people tell me something like "I'm bad, I ate some chips." or something. We are not good or bad because of what food we choose to eat.

The solids will help you to feel full! I was on liquids only for two weeks following surgery and then mushies for about 3 more and then slowly added the solids and I know I can eat more mushies than solids so that should help. Just had mu first adjustment so I was back on liquids for a couple of days and now on mushies.

Good luck, if you're ready, this will work, you will be SO amazed at yourself, you can TOTALLY do it!

Alisa

Your doc is right. but that doesn't mean you should n't do this it just means you need to step back and take a really hard look down the road to see if you can really do this otherwise you will just be unhappy with your choice, angry and depressed. If you have been unsuccessful because you won't follow a program for long enough time and find yourself resentful and denied because you can't have whatever you want whenever you want it and if you eat to deal with lifes problems you defnitely can out eat the band. Get some good support and figure out why you eat. Don't just do this & want it to make you thin it won't happen. You have to do the work just like for anything else in life it doesn't just fall in your lap soto speak. I hope you stay on line and get into a really good suppor t group and maybe therapy. It will be worth it.

Thanks losing it in me. That is VERY good advice. The LB program I am in comes with support group meetings twice a month (or more I think) and I will definately use them. I tend to want to think I can do this on my own, but I am slowly coming out of that mentality. Support (like my dear friends here, who care enough to post passionately) is priceless and is critical along with exercise and re-thinking what food means. Thanks again, to all of you....