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what is wrong with me, hesitant to get a fill...



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so i've been completely unfilled for about a month now (and feel very unfilled!! hungry, making not so good choices, etc...) i KNOW i need the fill, but why am i so hesitant to get one?

its like im looking for excuses to cancel my appointment today.... im still sore/swollen from plastics, she wont be able to find my port... oh, i drank 3 hours 45 mins before my fill, i have to cancel ... you name it...

i cant figure out what im afraid of ...

grrrrrrrr....

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You have been through ALOT here recently, both physically and emotionally. You are one very strong and inspirational lady. Maybe the hesitation is just due to the fact that you need a break from yet another procedure? (even though a fill is no big deal) Who knows! BUT, if anyone will get through those feelings, it's you. :huh2:

BTW, congrats on your recent surgery. You look fantastic! I truly admire you!!

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I agree, you've had so much done. Your brain is probably just saying "What, more?"

You know a fill isn't a big deal, so you'll have to decide if you are thinking logically. Weigh out the consequences of waiting two more weeks and decide if that's what you want. Six weeks is generally the recuperation period, so maybe it's just too soon and your body is telling you that.

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Sometimes our brain plays tricks on us. Don't listen to it! Don't sabotage all the success you have had by not getting refilled. Go and get that fill so you can continue being as successful as you have been and making progress toward your ultimate goal.

And, by the way, I have loved watching your journey - truely inspirational! What a difference you have made for your life - Way to Go!!!

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thanks guys... i got the stupid fill...

being completely unfilled she needed 2 syringes full of saline to give me proper restriction ... needless to say that felt awful... it also meant 2 barium swallows .. yippee ...

ice cream's a liquid right ... ???

heh... i wish. nope, gunna be good now.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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