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I Know this is a VERY long post. I'm Sorry, but I am required to write a letter to my Insurance Co. detailing my request for Lap Band Surg.. Please some one give me feed back as I will not be sharing this with anyone I know.. I like to keep my stuff personal, and since you all don't really know me...? Please? Here goes.:shades_smile:

I didn’t get this fat over night, it took years. A lot of years….And I would like for you to know how I have lived those years. Ashamed, embarrassed, resentful, bitter, angry, sorry. And always, always hopeful that tomorrow I would be able to turn it around.

Ashamed that I have no long term control over my food addictions, so I avoid making eye contact with people because I’m afraid of what I’ll see in their eyes and I know there’s a limit to the judgmental looks I can endure.

Embarrassed that I will see someone I went to school with or anyone that knew me when I was thin and pretty. Also embarrassed that I seemingly don’t care how I look, so I avoid going anywhere I might be seen by anyone I know. And when I do see one of those people it is always a hellish experience.

Resentful that I haven’t EVER been successful at fighting this battle. I have occasionally lost 20 to 30 lbs., but I have NEVER lost more than that. And I have NEVER been able to keep off those handful of pounds for more than a few months at a time. AND I HAVE BEEN ON NEARLY EVERY DIET KNOWN TO WOMAN.

Bitter when I think about all the time I wasted waiting until I lost weight to live my life.

And what’s left of my life now? Where are all the wonderful memories of me doing all the things I’ve always wanted to do, but “not until I’ve lost my weight”. “Honey, we’ll go on a cruise, go to Hawaii, take up hiking, jet skiing, visit our friends, the people you work with, etc., etc., etc….when I loose my weight.”

Angry when I am advised that “I might want to think about losing a few pounds”…..

Oh. You think?...

Do you think a person with all these emotions and feelings is fat because they are just lazy? Or because they just don’t care? Or because they haven’t tried? When you feel like your life has been wasted and YOU are the only one responsible, and being thin is the main goal you have ever really had in your whole adult life, and you are the only one that can give it to you, wouldn’t you think that if it were within your grasp you would give it to yourself?

And lastly, sorry. I’m really only sorry about two things. Number one, I am sorry my family has had to suffer because of my weight issues. And secondly I am so, so sorry that I didn’t have Lap Band Surgery the first year it was approved in the U.S.

I have suffered long enough with the above feelings. I was warned for years by my doctor about the health threats and am now seeing them come to pass. High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Fatty Liver Disease, borderline Diabetes, aches and pains too numerous to mention, all weight related. All weight related. My arms can hardly lift me up to turn over in bed at night. I am not just losing the weight loss battle, I am losing the battle for my life. I know I am going to die like this if I don’t have this surgery. Nothing else has worked. I have prayed about it and feel at peace about having the surgery. I agree with my doctor; he said that it could change my life- and he also said I could still have a long life ahead of me. I want that to be a productive, healthy life.

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Little Debbie, You have just told me my life story in your thread. I would send your insurance co. an exact copy of your thread as your letter. I wish you all the luck in your insc. approval, & hopfully your surgery. JohnC

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Jack & John

Thank you guys for giving me your support. We do all have so much in common, don't we? That's why I come here for my support; we have all experienced many of the same dissapointments related to our weight problems. I will be keeping my eye out for you guys. God Bless us all on our journeys.

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I too felt like I just read my own story. I wished I had seen this when I had to write my own letter. Yours is much more poignant than mine.

Best of luck to you in your journey.

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Agree with what the others have said, it's very well written and I think it's perfect.

Best of luck!

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Thanks everyone for your support! as for the poignant part Suzanne, you know what it's like when you are "in the moment" and just have to get it out there. It was better than the year of therapy I had! While I was typing this, my PCP called, and my referral to the Lap Band Dr. has been approved by my Ins.! Here we go! Step 1 is now complete & I'm ready to jump ahead! See you all in band land!!!

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Thanks everyone for your support! as for the poignant part Suzanne, you know what it's like when you are "in the moment" and just have to get it out there. It was better than the year of therapy I had! While I was typing this, my PCP called, and my referral to the Lap Band Dr. has been approved by my Ins.! Here we go! Step 1 is now complete & I'm ready to jump ahead! See you all in band land!!!

Yay! Fantastic news!! How excited you must be feeling. Keep us posted on how things go. :thumbdown:

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Oh, Debbie, I'm so happy for you. (that you got approved ) Hang with us and we will do our best to help you every step of the way.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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