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Starting to think I chose the wrong program...



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Hi, I too was certain I did not have sleep apnea. I knew that I snored "lightly", but would wake up numerous times during the night to pee; sometimes 3-5x/night. Well, surprisingly I was diagnosed with "significant" sleep apnea and fitted with a cpap. Now I don't wake up during the night for any reason. I was totally shocked that the nighttime peeing stopped. So, don't just automatically dismiss apnea like I did. Besides it gives you a co-morbidity, which you might need!

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Sue40,

That seems to be a lot of requirements. My doctor requires a visit with a psychologist, a visit with a dietician, and the lab work and x rays. My insurance company requires the psychologist visit, at least 2 visits with the dietician, and at least three consecutive months of treatment for diet and exercise. It may be a good thing that this center has a lot of requirements because they may want you to be prepared for the lap band way of like, but I don't like the way the lady talked down to you. This is your body, and she shouldn't try to push gb on you. And the requirements may be from your insurance company. Just my thoughts . . .

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I started on the Tufts/NEMC program three weeks ago. There are a LOT of requirements including 5 weeks of behavior classes (group therapy basically), 2 nutritionist appointments, 2 physiology appointments, 2 psych appointments, 2 medical consults, 1 surgical consult, 1 "intro" session and now I've learned 2 group physiology classes. It takes a lot of time. They make no effort to bunch appointments together, so I'm spending a lot of time driving to Boston.

Here's the reason I'm peeved today. I had my first medical consult. She asked me if I snore. Yes, so? Now she is going to make me stay overnight in their sleep center to determine if I have apnea! I do not have apnea! She made a big deal out of the fact that I wake-up during the night. I have to pee! As I've aged I've lost my ability to hold it that long. All my friends the same age say the same thing! I snore because I have a partially deviated septum, large adenoids and I'm allergic to pretty much everything! She also may make me go for a hematology consult, which takes ages and ages to get. Oh, to top it off, she tried to convince me to switch to gastric bypass. I explained to her that GB is not an option for me because I want to have a child and 42 is the cutoff for IVF, so I don't have time for surgery, healing, and still have successful IVF before I'm 42. She agreed, but thinks the higher weight loss I'll likely achieve with GB is more important. And she insists I need to lose ALL the weight I will lose with LB before I get pregnant. That it would be "very bad". PLEASE. Plenty of people get pregnant with LB, get unfilled if necessary, and then get refilled later. Slowing my weight loss is less of a big deal to me than never having a child. This is a very delicate subject for me and she just didn't seem to get it. She kept talking down to me saying things like, "I do this for a living".

I was on the verge of tears driving home. I lost my job (after 10+ years at the same place) in February and they KNOW I need this surgery done before I can look for another job (because there is no way I could do all this with a new job, there are just too many appointments, which they agree with). I had contacted them about the program before I lost my job, I didn't decide to do this because I lost my job. They told me they could put me on a "fast track" since I have no co-morbidities. Except for having a BMI over 40 I'm really healthy, which they acknowledged.

Now I don't know what to do. I'm about $300 into it (not including all the travel costs), which isn't that much. I don't know if I should just find an "easy" center. I chose Tufts because they are the pioneer of LB in New England and have had zero erosions. And now I'm questioning my decision to choose LB or GB! Does anyone have any advice? Should I just scrap it and start over somewhere else? The psych doctor, who shepherds you through the program, told me to call him if I have any questions. Should I call him and talk through this with him?

Hi Sue,

My name is Heather and I went through New England Medical Center for my surgery on June 17th. and I started the program at NEMC in January and I had the same problem where a lot of the Dr's tried changing my mind to have the GB because they said I would lose more weight. I wasn't thrilled with the medical Dr who your talking about either, but I dealt with her as best that I could. The psychologist I had knew that I had my mind made up about the band, and he encouraged me to go ahead with the band if that is what I wanted. So I did, and I'm happy about it.

I know you posted this post a few months ago but feel free to send me a message if you have any questions about the program.

Take care, and don't give up on your dream!

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I'm going through a "Center Of Excellence" also and did not have all those extra visits. You can see below what I'm being required to do.

My experience is when people talk down to you, it's b/c they have their own psych issues and she's trying to make her feel "above" you. However, this is your body and your life; she isn't an OBGYN so she should shut it! Plus, some GB patients have issues with malabsorption so you don't want your child to miss out on nutrients.

My experience with LBT is that people are more than happy to talk about their experiences so as the previous poster suggested, look for other local centers of excellence. My two cents.

I want a partner in this surgery, not pressure from some dingbat!

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Please don't dismiss the sleep apnea tests as not being needed. MOST people who have apnea don't realize it. Snoring and getting up to go to the bathroom at night are some of the symptoms. I assumed my sleepyness & constant bathroom runs at the time was due to my pregnancy boy was I wrong!

I can say from experience from using a CPAP now for 13 years. It is really RARE now that I wake up just to go to the bathroom. Where before I was up 3-6 times a night. Have the test so you know for sure if you do or don't have it.

As for the nurse trying to tell you about pregnancy. She's not a OB/GYN and shouldnt be giving advice like she is one.

By all means call the psych about your concerns. Even if you do decide to try a program elsewhere. Cause even if they turn out to not be the right center for you they can't improve if they don't know where the problems are.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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