Ok...long story short (ha ha)

My family just went to the Y to swim. After swimming we went into the Family Changing Room because it is easier with two just two year olds and a 3 year old and diapering etc....to go together than to separate them.

I went outside in the hallway to get their shoes, and there was a mom there with a young boy...maybe about 12...the mother asked me if I had young children in the room...and I said yes and she said, that's unfair...you can use the regular room...my son has autism and I cannot go into the regular changing room with him. I said, oh...well we are moving as quickly as we can with three little ones under 4 and we will be out shortly. She continued to complain that I was not using the room appropriately.

Well, we got the kids dressed, and then went outside to put their shoes on so the mom could bring her son in the room. (There are two family changing areas). She was waiting maybe 3 minutes. I said to her "I am sorry you had to wait, but the sign says family changing room and I didn't think there was any reason why my family couldn't use the room." She again reiterated that I was unfair because we could separate our kids and then she wouldn't have to wait...and that she can't go in to the men's room.

Ok...I get that...I understand. I truly am sorry she had to wait...but am I wrong for bringing my kids into one of the family changing rooms?

The thing is..I am a nice person...I NEVER intentionally hurt people or make things more difficult for someone...It's not who I am....I feel upset at myself and guilty that I've made life harder for this woman...but at the same time, I'm angry....and confused.

I just figured that it was easier for a family with three kids...two of whom can't take off their clothing or put on their clothing to use the family room so that it was two adults versus three kids.

Am I wrong? Really..please tell me truthfully, because I don't want to be inconsiderate.

Rainer

I don't think you were wrong at all. Actually, I think she was being inappropriate. I understand her need for the room, and it is justifiable. However, your reason for using the room was as justifiable. She needs to learn to be patient. There are times when we all have to wait a few minutes, that is just a fact of life.

She was in the wrong...absolutely. If only moms with autistic kids used it it wouldn;t get much use. I think she has some mental problems herself,

You were in the right! The name is FAMILY CHANGING ROOM not HANDICAP CHANGING ROOM.

she sounds entitled and rude! you handled it with great aplomb

You werent wrong for PRECISELY the reason you state - two adults to a couple of kids. Quicker, easier, and its what family change rooms are for.

We still use them and my kids are 12, 10 and 5. I refuse to send my 12 year old boy and 10 year old boy into a men's changing room alone. There's just no way that they're doing that in a huge public place like a swimming pool! They will not let me see them change, lol (they seem to have no problem walking in on ME in the shower!) so I stand outside the door. If that pisses people off so be it, they're not going in the change rooms alone.

You were absolutely in the right. That is why there is a family changing room. Even if you were two adults and only 1 small child you have the right to use that area without being harrased.

I, too, figure that the other mother was behaving like a spoiled bitch. You both had equal rights in terms of need to use the family changing room. But your family arrived there first and therefore had first rights to use the room. If her child was in dire need of the toilet and she had asked me very nicely then I would have let her go ahead of me but autism accompanied by rudeness are not satisfactory reasons to cede one's turn at the family facilities.

Hey I had to use one of those family restrooms at the mall while Christmas shopping a couple months ago. I was shopping with my 10 year old and we stopped to get something to eat and I had to PB so I walked as fast as I could to the restrooms and of course the womans line had a long line out the door... I couldn't wait any longer! I ran for the family restroom. The looks when I came out! Owell, people will get over it!

Sounds like you handled it perfectly. She was out of line but I am sure it is not personal. I have an autistic son and it is hard to do everyday things like swimming. There are a lot of obstacles in the life of a handicapped person and their family. I am sure she unfairly viewed you as an obstacle instead of taking time to think about why you had every right to have your family in the family changing room. She is frustrated and probably tired and I know why, but she had no right to lash out at you. Thanks for being polite and respectful to her anyway!

You should have told her it was reprehensible for her to lie about her son having a condition as sad as autism can be, just so that she could get the larger family room.

She was wrong.

Also, even if she were right, it is not her place to correct your manners--because correcting other adults is ruder than whatever's being corrected.

My sister is the mother of twin 5-year-old autistic boys and she is exhausted all the time, so I feel for that mother. However, she shouldn't have taken her frustration out on you.

Try to forget about it (although I know that's easier said than done sometimes).

Not only do I think this woman was being out of line, I truly don't understand her point. With 3 young kids under 4 years old, are you not a family? Who is such a room designed for, if not you? It does say "Family", doesn't it? What does she mean by "you can just use the regular room"? You said "we" several times, so I am assuming that you were in the Family room with your partner and kids - so was she seriously expecting you two to split up and take some kids into the Ladies room with Mum and the other(s) into the Mens room with Dad? That's ridiculous!

My kid has "X" problem does not equal "I have more rights than you do" or another way of saying it "I'm specialer than you". I think you were well within your rights to use that room (I think a couple with one child is well within their rights to use the "family" room).

I think you were very gracious, and I might not have been so nice!

Hey there

I dont think that you were wrong. If you would have taken 20 minutes lollygagging after she stated she was waiting yeah but no!

I agree with most of what's been said already.

It seems like since she has a child with special needs that she feels a sense of entitlement because she has so much to deal with.

You handled yourself the best way you could have, and she was out of line implying that your little ones could dress themselves.