any single gals out there???

[bluetigereyes 95]

To all u singles out there y r u scared to tell. I'm a guy and I'm so happy to hear that people is having some kind of surgery done to better themselves. U shouldn't be ashamed that your doing something to better your self be proud tell every one let other people be apart of your happiness

I will tell you exactly why I am scared to tell that I have the band. I was married for 12 years, got a divorce almost 2 years ago. Got my band almost a year ago. I am now down almost 70 lbs. I started dating just a few months ago. I am a VERY open and honest person and the guy questioned why I didnt eat very much at lunch. I explained that I have a band, and he couldnt leave the restaurant fast enough. That happened on the second or third date that I went on when I decided to start dating. I can look now and say....his loss, but at the time it was hard. When you have been heavy so long, you dont have the self esteem and to have someone do that to you, knocks you down even more. I wish I could find someone that understands, but now I just dont mention it. I have been dating a guy for 3 months now, he still does not know....but he does tease me about how little I eat. (and teases me alot, sometimes to the point of being hurtful). I dont need/want that either...so hes about ready to be kicked to the curb and wait for the right guy to come along that understands and accepts me for me.

[kerrbear72 55]

I also have been heavy all my life but deep down I knew the kind of person I am inside and that helped out weight my weight problem. And your right he's not worth it keep looking there r other guys like me out there but u really have to look. Good for u

[wallflower 188]

Bluetigereyes, that is exactly what I'm afraid of, is having guys treat me like that. Most men are all about the looks so I think they'd be chicken **** we'd gain the weight back. But I plan on just being honest about it from the get go & I'll let the losers weed themselves out. I wish I could meet someone at my support group but so far they are either married or too old for me :/

And kerrbear, i dont think there are many guys out there that would share ur point of view, bless ur heart. I think u just have compassion because you know what it's like to be judged.

[kerrbear72 55]

Well thank u wallflower I always am honest and sincere to everyone and everything I do. I don't want people to see a person in me that I'm not. If everyone was that way I don't feel there would be so much miss understanding today

[susieq321 31]

I have been banded for over ten years now... and when and who to tell is extremely personal. I have had horrid reactions from all sorts of different people, friends I thought would be in support of banding weren't. I have had people tell me I took the easy way out, without knowing anything about banding at all.

After a few years of varying reactions, I decided banding isn't something I am ashamed of, I also DO NOT broadcast I am banded. I tell people but I choose who I want to tell. Once I decided to adopt this policy I found the people I shared this info with were much more accepting of me.

I wouldn't tell every single person I met I had a quad bypass... why would I share this personal medical information just for the heck of it.

As for eating less, I just say I eat slower and lighter and I am not a fan of big huge meals... I also find when you talk during meals it helps people not expect you to eat as much.

[bluetigereyes 95]

Kerr, I wish there were more men out there like you! But, the truth is, many men are so superficial and cant look past the little stuff. It would be so nice to find a guy that is sensitive and actually understands the trials of having the band and losing weight.

[kerrbear72 55]

Well thank u blue eyes I just try to be me 100%

[bluetigereyes 95]

you're welcome Kerr! And, continue being YOU, because that is the best way to be! I've learned I will only change to better myself, never for anyone else.

[skuzzie 23]

Kerr we need more men like you in Australia!! Its true if we have confidence in our selfs it shines through. Ive only been banded just over a week, ive already felt a change in myself. I just turned 32 in november and was given a miss naughty cup, totally true! My mind has changed over night and i cant wait to not just be the girl with a pretty face!! Everyone remember we are on a lifestyle journey that includes mind body and soul and relearning about ourselves

[BandtoSleevechick 171]

i was banded 4/24/13. the last post was back in dec but i love this thread so needed to add my two cents.. At work i have no issue telling people why i was going to be out.. rumors can fly and i would rather then know from my own mouth then through the rumor mill... as for dating when i first started my process i had started dating my now boyfriend.. he was supportive.. occasionally he would say oh maybe you should try this.. so i asked him why he did that and it wasn't because he opposed me getting the band.. he didn't want me to go under the knife! it is ashame that everyone isn't supportive of us who decide to better and put longevity in our future and feel we copped out of weight loss how they did it but i sit back and remember their just narrow minded and can't accept change. Good luck in your journeys.. with the band and in dating!