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Who know, who doesn't, and why???



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I told two of my sisters, one was very supportive, the other (she's a nurse) just about had a cow. She tried to give me ALL the pros and cons about the surgery. I asked them not to tell my mother. Right after that I wished I hadn't told the nursey, nursey, cause she ran right back and told my mother.:smile: My mom doesn't know that I know that she knows. She doesn't say anything except, "you are really losing that weight". I only answer, "yes, mam". So I agree with everyone, once you tell it, you can't take it back. I did tell DH and just the other night he told me that I have changed. I am losing the weight and I am very humble at the same time realizing that I am changing because I finally feel good about myself. My children (grown) are very supportive. I have a very good friend that had the same surgery and we are supportive of each other. I did tell another friend that doesn't live in the same state and when she saw me, she was so happy for me. So think through who you think will be there for you. Though THICK AND THIN. LOL

Best of blessings to you, after all we are here for you if you decide not to tell anyone but us. LOL

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That's most of my story. I won't bore you w/ the rest but I'd love to hear why you have decided or not to tell who ever!
I told anyone with whom it came up. most of my family, most of my co-workers. The family that doesn't know, either I haven't seen them since banding (I'm not good at keeping communication up with family unless it's in person) or it just hasn't come up... several have seen the weightloss who maybe don't know I'm banded. Maybe someone told them, but it wasn't me... because we were at a wedding and when they commented on my loss, it wasn't an appropriate time to tell them. But if it comes up or they ask how I did it, I will tell them in a heartbeat.

Wow, that's really random - sorry it's hard to follow.

Basically I tell anyone who asks, anyone with whom it would come up as part of conversation, etc.

No secrets here.

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I was hesistant to tell one of my sisters becasue she is a big fitness guru. I eventually told her and prefaced it by telling her I just wanted her to know and if she was not able to be supportive, then please don't say anything at all. But it went well and all of my immediate famly knew before the surgery. Only 3 of my close friends know about it other than my family. I like it that way. I would tell people if they ask...I won't lie about it. It's been nice to see how some people look at me and know I look different but no one wants to say anything.

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I'll be 35 in a few weeks. I need this change in my life, I feel, to move forward and really grow, not only professionally, but personally too.

I've only told a few people about my surgery. I have two neighbors who know, and the person who's taking me on the day of my surgery. That's it!!

The person taking me, also has a band. We've become a lot closer since I found out she has the band. I had asked one of my two neighbors to take me since I though I'd have the surgery shortly after I decided it was for me. Insurance had other plans though. It's been a while now so I'm sure she's forgotten it.

I was going to tell my mom, but changed my mind. I don't like keeping this from her, but while she was here for C'mas, she left a food-stuff here saying that it would help me lose weight, "be a better choice for me". It was a butter made w/ yogurt. I don't really eat a lot of butter, and it hurt me. I know she only did it to help, so I can't really be that mad. But that's what changed my mind. I'll tell them after I've lost some weight, when they see me next, in March or so.

I'm also hoping that this weight loss will improve my career. I work in a male-dominated field and I'm very frustrated that I've not been promoted in the 3 years I've worked there. Plus the fact that when a position came open, and they promote from w/ in (Hahaha, jokes on you!!!!), that I was not even considered for it. And Yes, I did tell my boss that I wanted to move into that position!!! What good is it to keep getting certifications if you can't/aren't being allowed to use them????

That's most of my story. I won't bore you w/ the rest but I'd love to hear why you have decided or not to tell who ever!

:smile:

Shandra

TX_IT_Chick!!

Personally I told only my fiancee and my sister. I wanted to wait until after I had the surgery because I didnt want the possible negative remarks or health risks or even worry from my family. I am glad for my decision to keep it to myself and do my own research and stay on this site ALOT! You will learn much here, I dare say more than anywhere else. Hope I helped and let me know if you would like to chat more. Good luck!

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My DH knows and a few friends, that's it. I am not telling my parents or other family because I don't think that they'll be supportive. I wrote all about it here: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f80/parents-other-relatives-49056/

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Shoot! I've told everybody! My mom, my brother, my boss, all the girls in the office with me, my friends and if I'd been able to catch him, the mail man when he dropped my mail Saturday! LOL! they all know I'm fat, (hello-look at me!) and I'm excited to be doing something about it finally! Hell, I'd even shout it from the bow of the Titanic like Leo if I could! I'm embarassed by being fat not doing something about it! But every one that knows has been very supportive of me. The only person I'm getting crap about it from is DH, and I'm with Kudo on that one, I just don't think he can handle it.

Tell your DH that the Lapband isn't the ONLY thing that can be replaced if problems develop (lol).:)

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I told my close family after I was approved by insurance. I wanted to keep it to myself for a while. I am a barber in a small town so everyone notices everything people are doing. So I have told people who ask that I think will "get it". The people that are not understanding of that I don't. I have not had one bad comment. But my dh told me last night not to tell him everytime I lose a pound. I don't share that info with most anyone. But he is not currently losing, so I need to be conciderate. It is hard to do that when I don't have anyone to tell. So I am glad I have LBT. Thanks.:)

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I was so excited I told everyone that even appeared to be interested. I started a "lapband revolution" in my office. there are now 5 of us who have either gottenthe lapband or will have it in a few more weeks. I love my lapband and love to tell everyone how wonderful it is. I even had a conversation with the lady in line behind me a tWalmart about it, OK maybe I just like to talk but still it is really a wonderful thing!!!

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Well my parents definitely know (my dad is paying for it) and I told close friends. I only had one friend who I thought reacted oddly to me telling her, but she always plays on the side of caution so I can't be surprised she wasn't immediately thrilled like the rest of my friends. I've mentioned this in other threads...my immediate supervisor at work knows, but only because I accidently cc: her on an email about it to my friends. :lol:

I figure I will tell others when or if I feel like it. I work with some self-centered, jealous women and I do not plan on telling any of them. They epitomize every stereotype out there about bitchy women. :biggrin:

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I've told VERY few people. My real plan was to just tell my husband and a few close friends. Then I mentioned to my closest friend that I was considering it and she gave me the top 175 reasons why this was a bad idea. I decided that I wasn't telling anyone else. I did end up telling one other friend because she was keeping my kids the day of the surgery. I called my parents on the way home from the surgicenter and told them.

That was SUPPOSED to be IT.

Then I found out my husband had told his mom (and thus, the rest of his family) and that he had also told some friends. I've been REALLY mad about that, it wasn't his to tell, KWIM?

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HI, I have told my husband and this complete stranger at work, lol. It was just on my mind a lot lately and we were in the breakroom and I knew he was a nurse so I just spilled the Beans. He made me feel a lot better and I'm really glad I told him (for some strange reason). I can't even tell my Best freind that I have known for over 20 years. She lives in CA now so I don't see her much, but after the surgery I am sure I will tell her. I guess I feel like I am betraying her because we have the same eating issues and we are the only ones we talk to about it too. We talk all the time about what we eat and how good it was, etc.....Maybe by doing this I will help her and motivate her to start eating right.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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