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Jealousy

CaramelDiva1922

By CaramelDiva1922, in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums

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CaramelDiva1922    1

CaramelDiva1922
Posted

Did all the women who are married, or have boyfriends have to do a lot of reassuring to their husbands/boyfriends about the surgery. My boyfriend is unsure about me having the surgery. I'm sure that part of his concern is for the riskability factor, but one of the first questions he asked was. "Are you going to want to go out to clubs, and be out on the town alot? I think he's jealous thinking about all the attention that I will receive once I start dropping of the PHAT. Everything that I told him about the surgery I don't think that he really received fully. I felt like I was given a LapBand presentation. So, what I did was write him a letter explaining to him about all the things that I have dealt with while being over weight. What his response is I am eager to see. I don't think that he will leave me or anything, I am just asking of ways to reassure him that this is a good choice, and the best choice for me in my life. Did you coupled women have the same problem? What did you do?

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New Hope    37

New Hope
Posted

Hi, I bumped a thread for you that talks about this. Please don't let the title scare you off...."80% Divorce Rate". I think your letter writing is an excellent idea. You're able to make your point without getting emotional and/or saying something you would regret later (because you're hurt or angry at the moment). Best of luck to you!

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La_madam    20

La_madam
Posted

Jealousy is a sign of ones own insecurities. You can not worry about how he is going to feel...that is his issue he needs to deal with , this is about you. If he is not insecure and truly loves you and you truly love him then you both will reap the benefits of your band. I know this to be true since my husband is reapin em now :D

If all he is worried about is you going our clubbin, thne I believe there is more of a problem. Going clubbin should be the least of his worries with you making such a lifestyle change.

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Go To Topic Listing LAP-BAND Surgery Forums

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    • LeighaTR

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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