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The point of a 4th step out of the big book is "to face and be rid of that which is blocking you from God". Theres a great website to visit to learn about what AA actually is and isn't. In the 1940's AA had a 75% success rate. Today there is less than 10%. Why? because what they did back then (working the steps in less than a week) is not done the same today. Today we are more interested in patting someone on the back, then telling them the truth. Go to Steps and Traditions Web Site for more info, read the articles, they are very interesting!! Not blaming additction on heredity, but I do believe what the big book says that I suffer from a genetic pre-disposed illness and for that reason my body processes alcohol differently than other people. Congrats on your sobriety as well!

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I lived a cave man philosophy of recovery my first year, go to a meeting, share my problem, and go home a lock the door. I still was unhappy though. Then I ran across a cd and heard the truth about AA. I got into doing to work out of the book, and I have been completely free from the obsession since then. 4th step in an inventory, just that. The book says it is the truth about stock and trade. It's not a lifelong story of everything bad you've done. There are 3 inventories and 1 list of others you have harmed. I can tell you that it is not scary and actually has proved to be quite fun! There are some great Cd's too you can find on primary purpose websites, Chris Raymer is a friend of mine, and Cliff Bishop is my sponsor. Both of them have cd's you can listen to for free! IT will be a life changing experience, I promise you that!

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And you live in Texas!! God you are so blessed!! There are so many good big book meetings down there. If you could get to the primary purpose groups, I would kill to be you! (Where I live there are not a lot of good recovery based meetings like there are there)

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Thanks, I appreciate the outreach! I'll check out the site.

WOuld love to stay in contact! Actually where I live the meetings are a bit limited, the last time I started attending my options for a sponsor were limited to 1 and she kind of snapped at me, but I realize now that she was just telling me the truth.....like you just said. I also have 3 small kids so it is difficult for me to get to meetings especially if they don;t provide childcare. Seriously, would like to stay in touch...do you sponsor?

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Absolutely! Yes I do. It isn't an option, once you've done the work, it's your job to help others. My sponsor is long distance too because there are not a lot of people here doing the work. But it's working great for me. I believe God brings the right person at the right time into your life and that's what he did for me with Cliff Bishop. my email address is meggie02162@hotmail.com. I also get free nights and weekends on my cell phone, so we could talk for free if you would like. Anytime after 7pm my time 6pm your time. I'm ready when you are.

Megan

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Hey! I'm relieved to find this discussion!! I just celebrated 8 years sobriety yesterday and I'm 32. I don't go to too many meetings for various reasons (none of them good) but I'm still open to the miracle and I love reaching out to the newly sober.

Though I've decided to do this weight loss journey commando (sin bando), I've found this site to be invaluable as a source of inspiration and support. I love seeing all these folks out here who have gone through it and come out the other side successful. I've been unable to find anything else comparable for major weight loss commitment.

What I'm doing basically is just copying the banders; eating fuel food, small portions, listening to my body to figure out if I'm hungry or if I just want to eat, keeping a diet diary, and exercising 30 minutes a day. I'm a tag-along, a poseur. I'm ok with that because it's working for me too.

I got hooked on food as a kid as something to make me feel good, and as I got older I turned more to alcohol, drugs, sex. Then when I quit those, guess what I picked up again? So now it's been eight years, and until last year, I never stopped gaining weight since puberty. I had enough.

As is usually the case with me, when it hurts bad enough I finally start to look for a spiritual solution. Now along with my above listed regimen I rely on maintaining a spiritual connection to myself as well as a higher power, begging and pleading as much as praying for the powers of the universe to keep me inspired and give me strength for the certain tough times ahead. And part of that strength comes from reading you guys' posts!

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I love the open talk about our addictions. I have been in recovery for years prior to my banding last fall. I am glad, as I had to really work on the "head" stuff first. And the 4th step has nothing to do with amends - that is the 8th and 9th step for newbies. The 4th step is making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. I LOVE THIS STEP. Following the Big books suggestions of areas to address, I used "THE WORK OF BYRON KATIE" and worked on resentments, money, sex, and more... I worked this step before without using "The Work' and relapsed and relapsed. It is not a tool for everyone, but even our local VA Hospital treatment center uses it to work the steps of AA with their addiction patients.

Boy, there is no question for me that "taking away" that last "medication" - food - helped me to bump up against the character defects (which is simply confusion in my experience) that were left and being "eaten" instead of looked at. It is really a gift, but I would not have been able to do this before working a SOLID 4th Step. I use the 10th step as a daily inventory, and to work any resentments that have risen on a daily basis, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, and use "The Work" to see "the truth" about it and it disolves into love.

And then there are days I want to eat the house, think that an IV of Xanax would be great, and yell at people in traffic. And so it goes, and what a wonderful journey.

:smile:LOVE TO ALL OF YOU, SOBER OR NOT. I LOVE BEING CONNECTED TO YOU HERE!

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Lovingwhatis

I am interested in the tool you used for the forth step. "The Work of Byron Katie". can you tell me more about it?

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Thanks for all the info guys!

I guess it makes a little more sense, but I still can't wrap my brain around 12 steps for binge eating..

As for whoever said you can't blame alcoholism on anyone else, it has been proven that alcoholism is a genetic disposition. Or maybe it's obsessive compuslive habits?

I may be wrong, couldn't point out where it says that anywhere.. But everyone in my family has serious addictions, between food, Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling and Sex. ALL of these run rampant and dangerously through every single person in my family. Everyone seems to be motivated to address the issues in the past year with me losing weight, I'm the first one to make some sort of difference in what's going on. Due to this, my mom & sister are trying to get away from the food compulsions. My uncle is going to rehab for alcoholism. About 8 of us in the family are taking (or will be soon) Chantix to stop smoking.

Maybe all families are like this, I don't know. I guess everyone hides this stuff well, but it's boggling when I write down all the things every single person in my family are addicted to.

Mine are ultimately food.. and cigarettes.

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Fairy,

It doesn't seem to me that acknowledging that there is a genetic component to alcoholism, which is not a theory but a medically excepted fact that the marker had been identified, is blaming it on anyone. You don't sound at all like you are saying that. No one says to diabetics who acknowledge that it runs in their family, that they are blaming others. I love that you share your history here, many of us can relate, so I send you support to keep on sharing what is true for you and let the armchair psychiatrists preach to someone else...

LOVE TO YOU!

Lisa

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For the person who asked about making amends in OA. You make amends to people to whom you were dishonest, hurtful, manipulative, etc. For example, it may have more to do with my own negative attitude towards people when I was actually mad at myself. There were certainly times I took more than my share of family food or refused to do things with the family because I couldn't admit to being embarrassed about my weight. Or I was disrespectful to someone instead of dealing with my stuff. You aren't making amends because you are fat, but about your own behavior which is tied in with your addiction. Hope this clears it up a bit. This is also why you work with a sponsor who you can meet with in person and discuss this stuff. Connie

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Hi,

I am picking up my 2 year sobriety chip on valentines and was banded 2 weeks ago. The steps have been wonderful for me. I had to "ADMIT" that i was out of control and turn it over to God. I am a new person, and I have a husband and 2 kids who are so happy for me and my new lifestyle. I did seem to switch the addiction to eating somewhat, but now I am working the steps again.

I highly recommend to anyone who is struggling to go to a meeting. It can't hurt, and you might just fine that there are other people "JUST LIKE YOU" who have been hiding behind their addictions.

I am so excited about the band, and I will use it as a tool. I know that I still have to do my part.

Kim

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