Failing at everything

[June66 6]

Hi everyone! Sorry for the information dump, I'm just incredibly overwhelmed right now and would love to hear any experiences you've had. I've been talking with my surgeon about all this. I just need to get some thoughts from other people who've been through it.

I'm in my 20s, autistic and ADHD, and got the SADI early May. It's been 5 weeks. I've basically failed almost every instruction (except to lose weight, I've done great with that! I've lost over 30 lbs post-op).

Like Protein Shakes. I'm very lactose intolerant, and intolerant to several fake sugars, AND allergic to yeast (which is in every Soup known to man). After surgery I became intolerant to every fake sugar, even stevia. The three shakes I had managed to tolerate became intolerable post op. Two have things that burn my insides now, and one just makes me puke because it tastes gross without too much sugar for me to tolerate.

So I tried a Bone Broth and then eventually foods (in line with the stages) to try and get Protein. Lactaid didn't work unfortunately so no cheese, creamy Soups, ECT. meats are hard to tolerate. eggs are ok, and vegan Greek yogurt, but after eating anything consistently (like every day) it makes me nauseous. I wasn't picky before surgery, and actually had a Protein Shake daily, so I wasn't prepared to find food I tolerate literally vomit inducing after a few meals of it.

I have massive food aversion now. I get nauseous anytime I think of food, or smell food, though I manage to find something to choke down with my pills so I don't get more nauseous. I've tried to force myself to eat/drink things, but it always ends in dry heaving at best. Its mental, I'm sure, but I liked eating the same foods pre-op so that's confusing for me.

Water was fine when I was in too much pain to sleep and had all that extra time, so the first week, but now I'm mentally and physically exhausted and want to sleep a lot. Or even just lay down, and with the GERD that means not drinking while laying down. With all the meals and the not drinking around them, I get 40-48 oz of water a day. I'm not exercising (another ding) so I don't actually seem to be too dehydrated? But once I hit the 40-48oz I stop being able to drink, even if I stay up 2 extra hours to get some more down much more slowly. It just makes me nauseous past the amt mentioned. I don't know what that's about.

Also intolerant to the anti-nausea pills btw. For some reason they make the nausea worse and give me stomach cramps to boot, yay.

There's more issues, but that's the gist. There's so much to juggle, and it seems like everything I try to fix my issues leads to nausea. How do you do all of this? And not go crazy? And please tell me it ends soon?

[Amandah123 1]

Have you tried the unflavored powder you mix into things. I will have my surgery in a week and have allergies already the powder is easer for me to mix into things even the Water if I can not stomach the flavored shakes. I like the Isopure Zero Carb 100% Pure whey isolate Protein Powder, Lactose Free, Gluten Free, With Vitamins, Unflavored.

[June66 6]

1 hour ago, Amandah123 said:

Have you tried the unflavored powder you mix into things. I will have my surgery in a week and have allergies already the powder is easer for me to mix into things even the Water if I can not stomach the flavored shakes. I like the Isopure Zero Carb 100% Pure whey isolate Protein Powder, Lactose Free, Gluten Free, With Vitamins, Unflavored.

Yeah I tried that powder in some super blended canned peaches and cherries for taste, but had a lot of trouble with the taste. You can drink it in just Water? I've heard people sprinkle it on things like Soup and mashed potatoes but I don't know how it can taste palatable enough to not vomit up? Or maybe I just vomit really easily 😓

That's super nice of you to suggest though, I really appreciate someone responding at all! I'm trying to convince my body it can tolerate sucralose so I could do that Frogfuel Protein shot. An oz is so much easier to get down than a whole shake.

[LoveLearning 2]

Have you tried adding ginger to meats?

[SpartanMaker 1,324]

So sorry you're going through this!

This does NOT seem normal to me at all. Yes, most of us have things early on that just don't seem to sit right in our guts. For example, I could not eat eggs in any form for the longest time. I also can relate to the mental side of things. I was probably about 3 months post surgery and had a work function where they catered lunch. I knew better, but wanted to "fit in", so I decided to just eat whatever was provided. It was sandwiches so I decided to just eat the deli turkey out of the sandwich. It made me horribly nauseated to the point I had to leave work. After that, it took me almost 2 years before I tried any sort of deli meat at all. I knew it probably wouldn't actually make me sick, but the fear that it would kept me from trying it.

Anyway, my point is a few changes and food aversions is quite normal. EVERYTHING making you sick is not normal. Regarding Fluid intake, lots of people have a little bit of a challenge drinking at first, but it's supposed to get easier and easier as you go. That does not sound like you're experience, though? At 5 weeks in, if you're still only getting 40-48 oz that's pretty low.

You mentioned that you're working with your surgeon. I'm curious what they are telling you? Have you really told them everything you explained above? I have found a lot of people (forgive me for stereotyping a bit), especially younger people are not good at advocating for themselves. Unless you really make your doctor fully understand what's going on, they may not realize just how big of an issue this is.

I would also recommend talking to your dietitian and your therapist about all this if you have not already started working with those other professionals. The dietitian should have more experience dealing with these sorts of dietary issues and may be able to help you find foods that can help. I would also agree with your assessment that at least some of your issues are mental, thus talking to your therapist would be a really good idea because they may be able to teach you some ways to overcome those issues.

With all that our of the way, I wanted to maybe suggest a few things for you to try to help you eat and hydrate:

• Your Water intake seems to be on the low side as I mentioned. I would think you really should be getting closer to 64 oz a day right now. (If your program told you a different amount, go with what they told you.) Be aware that dehydration can actually cause nausea, so could be making your issues worse. IMO, you really need to double-down on drinking, even if that means you have to change your meal schedule. Also, at 5 weeks you should be able to drink several ounces at a time, thus it really should not take hours to get in another 15-20 ounces. If it does, this is yet another thing to talk to your doctor about.
• You could also consider adding in an electrolyte drink to help with the dehydration, but please only do that with your doctor's blessing.
• Consider taking a broad spectrum probiotic. I know that then becomes one more pill to take, but I do think at least some of your digestive issues are due to an out of whack gut microbiota. If you can get your gut healthy again, it should really help.
• You mentioned you are not exercising. At 5 weeks, you really should not be doing any strenuous exercise anyway, but you do need to be walking. I don't know your current weight or how much you're capable of doing, but if all you can do is just 5 minutes to walk to the end of the block and back, that's what you should be doing. If you can do more than 5 minutes, great, do what you can do. I would strongly encourage you to do this outside if at all possible. There are lots of benefits mentally from that exposure to nature, so please don't just walk around the house or on a treadmill. I know this feels like just one more thing to do, but how about you take some water with you and drink some while you're walking? Believe it or not, walking can reduce stress and even improve gut health. In short, don't consider this a nice to have or somehow related to weight loss. Think of it as part of your treatment plan to get past this nausea and on the path to feeling better.
• Food-wise, you mentioned you're okay with yogurt, but getting burned out on it. You might try flavoring it? In other words, if you're just eating plain greek yogurt to avoid the fake sugars and other ingredients, you probably can add extracts to make whatever flavor you want. I love coconut for example, but vanilla, almond, etc. would also work well. Just check the labels carefully and make sure it doesn't have weird ingredients and that it's using natural flavorings.
• Fairlife Milk. This is lactose free and taste just like regular milk (at least to me). It also has a lot more Protein in it than regular milk, so will be a way to boost your protein intake.

Best of luck. I do hope you find solutions to your issues.

[summerseeker 2,386]

I just want to reassure you that you will get better. I had the very worst start. My restriction is/was fierce. It took me months to eat and drink like I should be. I barfed all the time, the gerd was wicked and disturbed my every night. My team told me to do my best and followed me closely. I was really dehydrated. I hated all my favourite foods, cooking smells made me heave. Every day I tried hard to get in my Water quota. It seemed so hard to do it. Then one day I did it. I felt so much better when I was hydrated. I found times when my PPI work best for me.

I still hate my once favourite foods. Pasta is not on my menu, sweetners, oh no, also now allergic. Fish and chicken, especially salmon is rarely seen on my plate.

You are early out and your new stomach isn't quite healed, It will get better, you will be ok.

[June66 6]

16 hours ago, LoveLearning said:

Have you tried adding ginger to meats?

I eat pickled sushi ginger sometimes and that might help a little? Even if only as a distraction 😅 though I don't add it to the meats.

[June66 6]

12 hours ago, SpartanMaker said:

So sorry you're going through this!

This does NOT seem normal to me at all. Yes, most of us have things early on that just don't seem to sit right in our guts. For example, I could not eat eggs in any form for the longest time. I also can relate to the mental side of things. I was probably about 3 months post surgery and had a work function where they catered lunch. I knew better, but wanted to "fit in", so I decided to just eat whatever was provided. It was sandwiches so I decided to just eat the deli turkey out of the sandwich. It made me horribly nauseated to the point I had to leave work. After that, it took me almost 2 years before I tried any sort of deli meat at all. I knew it probably wouldn't actually make me sick, but the fear that it would kept me from trying it.

Anyway, my point is a few changes and food aversions is quite normal. EVERYTHING making you sick is not normal. Regarding Fluid intake, lots of people have a little bit of a challenge drinking at first, but it's supposed to get easier and easier as you go. That does not sound like you're experience, though? At 5 weeks in, if you're still only getting 40-48 oz that's pretty low.

You mentioned that you're working with your surgeon. I'm curious what they are telling you? Have you really told them everything you explained above? I have found a lot of people (forgive me for stereotyping a bit), especially younger people are not good at advocating for themselves. Unless you really make your doctor fully understand what's going on, they may not realize just how big of an issue this is.

I would also recommend talking to your dietitian and your therapist about all this if you have not already started working with those other professionals. The dietitian should have more experience dealing with these sorts of dietary issues and may be able to help you find foods that can help. I would also agree with your assessment that at least some of your issues are mental, thus talking to your therapist would be a really good idea because they may be able to teach you some ways to overcome those issues.

With all that our of the way, I wanted to maybe suggest a few things for you to try to help you eat and hydrate:

• Your Water intake seems to be on the low side as I mentioned. I would think you really should be getting closer to 64 oz a day right now. (If your program told you a different amount, go with what they told you.) Be aware that dehydration can actually cause nausea, so could be making your issues worse. IMO, you really need to double-down on drinking, even if that means you have to change your meal schedule. Also, at 5 weeks you should be able to drink several ounces at a time, thus it really should not take hours to get in another 15-20 ounces. If it does, this is yet another thing to talk to your doctor about.
• You could also consider adding in an electrolyte drink to help with the dehydration, but please only do that with your doctor's blessing.
• Consider taking a broad spectrum probiotic. I know that then becomes one more pill to take, but I do think at least some of your digestive issues are due to an out of whack gut microbiota. If you can get your gut healthy again, it should really help.
• You mentioned you are not exercising. At 5 weeks, you really should not be doing any strenuous exercise anyway, but you do need to be walking. I don't know your current weight or how much you're capable of doing, but if all you can do is just 5 minutes to walk to the end of the block and back, that's what you should be doing. If you can do more than 5 minutes, great, do what you can do. I would strongly encourage you to do this outside if at all possible. There are lots of benefits mentally from that exposure to nature, so please don't just walk around the house or on a treadmill. I know this feels like just one more thing to do, but how about you take some Water with you and drink some while you're walking? Believe it or not, walking can reduce stress and even improve gut health. In short, don't consider this a nice to have or somehow related to weight loss. Think of it as part of your treatment plan to get past this nausea and on the path to feeling better.
• Food-wise, you mentioned you're okay with yogurt, but getting burned out on it. You might try flavoring it? In other words, if you're just eating plain greek yogurt to avoid the fake sugars and other ingredients, you probably can add extracts to make whatever flavor you want. I love coconut for example, but vanilla, almond, etc. would also work well. Just check the labels carefully and make sure it doesn't have weird ingredients and that it's using natural flavorings.
• Fairlife Milk. This is lactose free and taste just like regular milk (at least to me). It also has a lot more Protein in it than regular milk, so will be a way to boost your Protein intake.

Best of luck. I do hope you find solutions to your issues.

This was both very informative and very kind, thank you! It's good to know that this level of aversion/nausea might also not be normal.

As for telling the surgeon, I think you're right. I see this as a failure on my part to follow the instructions, which is making me ashamed to bring up more than necessary. I'm also really telling 5 different people on his team since other people respond, so maybe they don't know the whole picture. So far I've gotten "don't worry about the Protein Shakes just eat what you can", extra GERD medication for the GERD and trouble drinking, and to do my best. But I really do need to outline everything directly to the surgeon and have my follow up coming up.

My dietitian was only assigned pre-op, but I have a request to the insurance to let me talk to her again.

I genuinely can't get that much water down, especially at once. Ice water is helping me even get to this much 😞 The PPI was supposed to help but I don't see it helping with the water yet.

Electrolyte drinks have fake sugar /: I have POTS and was drinking LMNT daily 😭

The probiotic is a great suggestion, I'll add it!

Yeah, with the exercise it's very, very hot outside. I walked 5 min the other day, AC on both sides, cold water in hand, and was still nauseous all day. With the POTS I don't have good temperature regulation and chronic fatigue. I'm doing some light indoor exercise, but yeah that one is tanking very hard. I don't want to sweat out my water or use my little amount of protein to build muscle instead of heal. I was going to start once I could get down more protein but I haven't found a way to do that consistently.

Genuinely thank you for reaching out and giving all the suggestions!

[June66 6]

8 hours ago, summerseeker said:

I just want to reassure you that you will get better. I had the very worst start. My restriction is/was fierce. It took me months to eat and drink like I should be. I barfed all the time, the gerd was wicked and disturbed my every night. My team told me to do my best and followed me closely. I was really dehydrated. I hated all my favourite foods, cooking smells made me heave. Every day I tried hard to get in my Water quota. It seemed so hard to do it. Then one day I did it. I felt so much better when I was hydrated. I found times when my PPI work best for me.

I still hate my once favourite foods. Pasta is not on my menu, sweetners, oh no, also now allergic. Fish and chicken, especially salmon is rarely seen on my plate.

You are early out and your new stomach isn't quite healed, It will get better, you will be ok.

That was so so comforting 😭😭😭 knowing someone else had the same situation and made it through!!! I hate how long it's probably going to be until I feel better. Thank you for taking the time to respond!!

[SpartanMaker 1,324]

1 hour ago, June66 said:

I genuinely can't get that much Water down, especially at once. Ice water is helping me even get to this much 😞 The PPI was supposed to help but I don't see it helping with the water yet.

Just a thought, but some people find that different temperature fluids can help. For example, instead of ice water, have you tried something like hot tea? Might not work, but it does help some people.

1 hour ago, June66 said:

Electrolyte drinks have fake sugar /: I have POTS and was drinking LMNT daily 😭

I was actually thinking something like Scratch labs. it's pretty clean as far as ingredients go. No fake sugar or artificial flavorings, just a nice light clean flavor. Yes it has real sugar, but that honestly might not be a bad thing for you at this point? Since you're not at particular risk of dumping, I'd think sugar shouldn't be too much of an issue, especially if you're struggling to eat. Just like everything else that's new, it might be problematic, so if you do decide to try it, start really slowly.

Speaking of sugar, have you ever had your blood sugar checked? Some of the symptoms you've mentioned are really similar to diabetic/pre-diabetic symptoms. Maybe something to discuss with your surgeon?

1 hour ago, June66 said:

Yeah, with the exercise it's very, very hot outside. I walked 5 min the other day, AC on both sides, cold water in hand, and was still nauseous all day. With the POTS I don't have good temperature regulation and chronic fatigue. I'm doing some light indoor exercise, but yeah that one is tanking very hard. I don't want to sweat out my water or use my little amount of Protein to build muscle instead of heal. I was going to start once I could get down more protein but I haven't found a way to do that consistently.

I totally get not wanting to sweat a lot if you're worried about dehydration. I went for a ~2 hour run on Sunday in 80+ temps. Believe it or not, I lost almost 8 POUNDS of sweat in those 2 hours. I know because I weighed myself before and after.

When I say walking, I'm not talking about a power walk. If you're sweating a lot, you're doing it wrong. I'd just want to see you moving like you were walking around a shopping mall. Don't think of this as "exercise". You're really just trying to move your body. Speaking of shopping malls, that might not be a bad place to go to get a walk in if it's too hot outside? Again, that might not be possible for you, but sometimes it's good to just go someplace different.

Edited 1 hour ago by SpartanMaker

[Arabesque 7,592]

Sorry you are having such a tough time & I do agree with the others your experiences are extreme and unusual.

While aversions to certain flavours, smells &/or textures isn’t uncommon in the first couple of months, it usually is to rather specific foods & odours not the broad ranging all encompassing aversions like yours. Same with developing such extensive sensitivities or allergies. Our digestive system is just so sensitive after surgery & while healing.

Can I add it might be an idea to get a referral to a therapist. You may find it helpful to talk the through your feelings of failure and even your food aversions. Our mind can really mess with us and convince our bodies of many things. I recall my dad’s oncologist saying that sometimes after experiencing a lot of nausea over a number of weeks, your body can start to think nausea is its natural/normal reaction to food. Not saying this is your situation but it can’t hurt to rule it out as a possibility.

Also have you tried sipping Water overnight to get in more fluids? Still have a large glass y my bed and sip every time I wake ( usually when I get up to pee 😆) or while I’m reading before I sleep.

Another thing to consider is that Multi Vitamins are known to cause nausea and is an issue many of us experienced the first months after surgery. They could be adding to the nausea you are experiencing.

As you have an allergy to anti nausea meds, try sipping ginger tea (it counts to your Fluid intake & warm drinks are often more soothing) or look into acupressure point bands often sold to help sea or motion sickness.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Anti+nausea+bands&ref=nav_bb_sb

I hope you can find some relief and solutions soon. All the best.

Edited 1 hour ago by Arabesque