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**Trigger warning: domestic abuse**

My name is Georgia, I am 27, and I have been 'bigger' for my entire adult life, and a lot of my childhood too.

I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) insulin resistant type, and an Underactive Thyroid, both of which cause me to put on weight quickly, retain weight, and makes losing weight extremely difficult.

I can't even remember the countless amounts of fad diets I have been on, or the amount of times I have tried to lose weight, but failed again and again. When I was 18 I was going to the gym 5-6 times a week for over an hour, I was doing HIIT training and Tai Chi, and I was jogging, eating well etc, but I still only managed to lose 2 stone in a year - make it make sense! I didn't know back then that I had underlying conditions that made it hard for me to lose weight, so I internalised a lot of the guilt in not being able to get healthy, and it resulted in me putting on around 6 stone from then until now.

I was also a victim of domestic abuse/violence, and a lot of the verbal abuse that I suffered was centred around my weight - constantly being told by my ex-partner that I was fat, he would pinch my thighs, tummy, arms etc, telling me he was seeing how many inches I could lose. It completely broke me, and I started binge eating in secret. He ended up leaving me, telling me that he could no longer be with me due to my weight and how it made me sexually unattractive.

I think I am probably just over 20 stone now. My back hurts when I walk, I cannot look in any mirrors without feeling low, I don't feel comfortable going out in public, and I am exhausted all the time.

Every time I went to my GP about something, I was always told I needed to lose weight, as if it were a miracle cure and so simple to do just by trying hard enough. It was always blamed on me not putting in enough effort - and those in the UK will know that the NHS isn't a simple thing to navigate and the waiting lists for obesity support are long and often disheartening.

Around 2 years ago I was put on a waiting list for weight loss management with the NHS. I was finally accepted in September of 2023. This is a year long commitment to the weight loss management pathway (Tier 3), in which you have to lose 5% of your weight in order to then be put on to another waiting list for a referral for the actual WLS (Tier 4). I have been told that this can take a further 4-6 years.

I had a harrowing thought that by the time my WLS actually came around, I'd be well into my 30s, still desperately unhappy with myself, and I would have put on even more weight and probably be immobile. I can no longer do this to myself. I deserve better.

I made the decision to look into private weight loss surgery, and I had a free consultation with a recommended surgeon just before Christmas 2023. This was genuinely the first time that a medical professional sat me down and talked to me with some humanity about my weight. He told me that with my conditions (particularly the insulin resistance, and hormonal imbalance), that my metabolic rate needed an entire reset, and this was not possible to do without surgical intervention. He explained that the difficulties I have had in trying to lose weight and being unable to, are not my fault (though of course I accept responsibility that getting here in the first place is my fault), and that surgery is recommended as perhaps the only thing that will enable me to lose the weight. I have never felt so seen, and so heard.

I booked in my surgery for May 2024 there and then.

So, now I start my journey, and I was looking for support, and here I am. I look forward to posting on here and using this thread to update everyone once I have had my surgery!

I am quite an open and honest person, so if anyone wants to reach out to talk, my inbox is open :)

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So glad you're here!

There is so much idiocy in the medical community regarding weight and weight loss. Doctors literally know 95% of people cannot physically lose more than a small amount of their weight and keep it off, but they act like everyone can except you and they can't figure out why you're not doing it. Imagine if they told diabetics they couldn't have insulin until they used their willpower to lower their blood sugar on their own, just to prove they take it seriously.

As for your ex partner, I hope on your behalf that certain parts of his anatomy shrivel up and fall off. You deserve better, no matter what weight you are at. It's hard not to internalize that kind of abuse, but remind yourself as often as you need to that he's garbage and did you a favor by taking himself out.

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Happy to have you!!!

I have been overweight most of my life, my first diet was at 12 with Weight Watchers because mom kept telling me that If I lost 20lbs I would be so pretty (it was never about health). My dad would tell me that I would never have a boyfriend because I was fat or I would struggle with acceptance because of my weight.

I did not have my first relationship until I was 20 because of my self poor image ( I was about 240lbs at this point). Ended up marrying him and he was the most emotionally, verbally, sexually, physically and mentally abusive human being. We moved across the country and that's when the abuse got worse. He would degrade me and tell me no on would want me because I was disgusting and he had to imagine other women while we were intimate. We ended up having a daughter together and she was the best thing that's ever happened to me, but after 10 long years I left with my daughter when she was 18months! When I finally left I was 325lbs.

Since then It opened me to a whole new world opened up for me and my daughter. I was able to focus on just us and my health was something that I needed to control- I started working out, eating right and got down to 240lbs met the love of my life and now I have happy weight. He is the best thing that has every happened to my daughter and I. Her bio-dad is not in her life, and we ended up having a son together and I shot back up to 297lbs. After some health scares with my family I decided WLS is the way to go!!

I am set to have the Sleeve on the 24th!

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15 hours ago, NickelChip said:

So glad you're here!

There is so much idiocy in the medical community regarding weight and weight loss. Doctors literally know 95% of people cannot physically lose more than a small amount of their weight and keep it off, but they act like everyone can except you and they can't figure out why you're not doing it. Imagine if they told diabetics they couldn't have insulin until they used their willpower to lower their blood sugar on their own, just to prove they take it seriously.

As for your ex partner, I hope on your behalf that certain parts of his anatomy shrivel up and fall off. You deserve better, no matter what weight you are at. It's hard not to internalize that kind of abuse, but remind yourself as often as you need to that he's garbage and did you a favor by taking himself out.

Thank you!

You have put it perfectly - I don't understand how it is still such a stigmatised and poorly understood thing! It is absolutely shattering for people who feel like they are stuck, and I know that I definitely do feel that way!

Thank you ❤️ I honestly really appreciate that x

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14 hours ago, AmberFL said:

Happy to have you!!!

I have been overweight most of my life, my first diet was at 12 with Weight Watchers because mom kept telling me that If I lost 20lbs I would be so pretty (it was never about health). My dad would tell me that I would never have a boyfriend because I was fat or I would struggle with acceptance because of my weight.

I did not have my first relationship until I was 20 because of my self poor image ( I was about 240lbs at this point). Ended up marrying him and he was the most emotionally, verbally, sexually, physically and mentally abusive human being. We moved across the country and that's when the abuse got worse. He would degrade me and tell me no on would want me because I was disgusting and he had to imagine other women while we were intimate. We ended up having a daughter together and she was the best thing that's ever happened to me, but after 10 long years I left with my daughter when she was 18months! When I finally left I was 325lbs.

Since then It opened me to a whole new world opened up for me and my daughter. I was able to focus on just us and my health was something that I needed to control- I started working out, eating right and got down to 240lbs met the love of my life and now I have happy weight. He is the best thing that has every happened to my daughter and I. Her bio-dad is not in her life, and we ended up having a son together and I shot back up to 297lbs. After some health scares with my family I decided WLS is the way to go!!

I am set to have the Sleeve on the 24th!

Thank you :)

God, it sounds like you have been through a lot, but that is a testament to you that you are here and still fighting, regardless of the horrible things others have put you through. You deserve better than all of that, so I am glad you got out and you have found love for someone else and for yourself.

I hope your surgery goes well! x

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8 hours ago, FreeingMe said:

Thank you :)

God, it sounds like you have been through a lot, but that is a testament to you that you are here and still fighting, regardless of the horrible things others have put you through. You deserve better than all of that, so I am glad you got out and you have found love for someone else and for yourself.

I hope your surgery goes well! x

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Thank you!

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I am so happy to hear that you have taken control of your life rather than letting others control you. For the sake of you and your daughter, love yourself and put yourself first. You can't be there for your daughter unless you are first there for yourself.

The vast majority of WLS patients will tell you that their only regret is that they didn't have the surgery earlier. The members of bariatricpal.com are very supportive and knowledgeable. Reach out....you are among friends and not alone.

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14 hours ago, LISS011 said:

Congratulations to you, on your upcoming weight loss surgery.

Thank you!

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Just read this and I want to say good luck on your surgery today! I am sending you love and prayers, hopefully it all goes smoothly and I am positive you will turn everything around and live a great life!

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