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Hi All , I am definitely gaining weight .I have been under a lot of stress and started eating low sugar biscuits .I still can't eat hot food and still get sick if I eat too much /too soon have liquid after food .Does anyone else identify with this ? I feel like I've fallen off the wagon and not sure how to get back on .I definitely want to eat more .I'm 20 months post surgery and feel like I'm slipping back .Husband is quite ill , we've just moved and facing financial difficulties .Obviously I'm comfort eating , not sure how to stop ?

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I'm sorry you're facing such difficulties. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind and it gets harder to plan and care for yourself the way you want to when you're trying to manage so much. Honestly, it's very possible that letting yourself have a good cry/scream, loud music (whatever helps you feel some release of tension) can help get you back on track. Finding another way to comfort yourself, like a warm bath, comfy blanket, hot tea, etc could replace the food.

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Sorry to hear you're dealing with all of this, it sounds rough. I know not all seasons of life can lend itself to it, but stress will cause the body to retain fat and prevent burning it. If there's any way to unload some of the stress, either by working out, meditation, going to a "rage room" where they let you smash stuff, anything that helps, it will help the weight loss process resume. I know its not always possible, having just come out of a season of life that felt like constant stress for 8 years with no seeming end. It was like I couldn't lose weight regardless of what I did, but I was always in a state of stress. I'm definitely not living a stress free life by any means now, but after years of therapy and practice, I guess I'm a little better at managing it now.

That being said, my surgeon suggested a "reset" if weight regain happens 1 year+ after surgery. It was basically go back to the pre op diet to jump start things for a couple weeks, then slowly start adding back items from your normal diet, but keep watch to see if any of those are causing a stall or regain. Focus on hydration first, then Protein, then unsaturated fat, then other fats, AND THEN carbs last. I wouldn't go as extreme as Keto, but try to aim for single digit carbs per serving of something, or under 50-60g per day. Carbs are easy energy for our bodies, so it prefers to burn that first, and store any excess as fat, just as a survival mechanism. Everyone is slightly different, but some people's metabolism can be thrown off by certain imatation sugars and sugar alcohols. Even though they're 0 or low calorie, they can still trigger an insulin response like sugar or starches. You may want remove the biscuits for the time being and see if those may be the trigger for your body.

Best of luck to you, and hoping things improve for you from here. Stay strong!

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Sometimes life just throws crap at you & I’m sorry you are the target at the moment. So it is understandable that you are trying to comfort yourself & food is the go to for many of us. Realising this is what you are doing is your first step so you already are on your way to getting back on track.

I’d go back to how you were eating when you neared your final weight. This will be closest to the way of eating that best complemented your needs & lifestyle. You could start by making one or two changes a week so it’s easier to transition during this stressful time. May be start with checking your portion sizes & ensure you’re getting in your Protein & fluids. Track your food so you can ensure you’re getting in your nutrients but not exceeding calories. Focus on your protein, vegetables & carbs last. Cut out the biscuits & any other Snacks that may not support your weight loss. Reassess your shopping so you are purchasing predominantly nutrient dense foods. Contact your dietician for a phone appointment until you can find someone in your new location to help you refocus.

I agree about finding a way to release some of your stress & tensions. Are you still finding time for yourself to do some sort of activity? Even a short walk (if the weather is okay) can help. Find a warm, quiet spot in the sun & sip a cup of tea - soothing & calming & an opportunity to breathe & relax.

Doesn't matter how long it takes to refocus yourself. You’ll get there in your time.

Hopefully things will turn around for you & your husband soon. All the best.

Edited by Arabesque

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Edited by Arabesque

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First and foremost, if you are religious person, pray. Pray for God to deliver you from the situation, and to give you the strength to face these most difficult times.

Second, try to find some quiet time and meditate. Go back to your time pre-surgery in your mind. Try to evoke the feelings you felt and the reason for getting the surgery…try to put yourself in your body, how you felt all the emotions and the feelings. Then live each day after the surgery again, thinking about how good you felt with losing the weight. Try to reclaim the positive feelings and the motivation you had to be that new person. Find that place again…live in it…let it be a part of you.

Third, find distractions. Exercise, walk, hobbies, etc. Find anything to get you away from the biscuits.

Fourth, don’t buy them! Walk past them. Buy something more healthy to snack on.

Finally, know that you are not alone, there will be ups and downs in your journey. Weakness and strength will come and go…come here often…ask for help…ask for support… ask for motivation and don’t forget the most important thing, PRAY.

Edited by Fred in Pa

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Hi All , thank you very much for your replies .Fred - I do pray , I was praying last night , it does help thanks .Ara - I agree walking would be useful but it is pouring with rain here in the UK , but as soon as I can , I think that will become my regular go to destresser .It's awkward because I'm the carer for my husband , and he can't walk far at all .However , once he's sleeping ok I can go and walk and stay in touch by phone .I have to get back to that mindset Big Guy and Lily , of finding other ways of coping with stress than eating , will give it a go x

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1 hour ago, fed-up said:

Hi All , thank you very much for your replies .Fred - I do pray , I was praying last night , it does help thanks .Ara - I agree walking would be useful but it is pouring with rain here in the UK , but as soon as I can , I think that will become my regular go to destresser .It's awkward because I'm the carer for my husband , and he can't walk far at all .However , once he's sleeping ok I can go and walk and stay in touch by phone .I have to get back to that mindset Big Guy and Lily , of finding other ways of coping with stress than eating , will give it a go x

I am in the UK and have to be a carer for my husband too. Its not a bed of roses is it. I send my hubby to the man creche in the pub twice a week by taxi. I then have some me time. I look forward to this time so much. I do not allow anything to interfere with it.

As to the weather ! oh dear it is awful at the moment. We have had flood warnings all weekend. I still got out though because I once saw a psychiatrist and said I had become so house bound because of the weather it affected my mental well being. He simply said ' Get better clothes' So I did.

I hope you can get your world sorted, everything seems harder at Christmas time. Moving home is the hardest thing to do. I always say ' I am never doing that again' You need to phone your team and find out why you cant eat hot foods. Can you eat Soup ? I still have issues with lamb and cooked salmon but I am ok with other Proteins. eggs took me almost 2 years to master then one day I craved them.

I allow myself a treat every day, my love is children's rocket ice lollies. Asda and M&S ones are less than 40 calories each. Yesterday I had 2 Mcvities chocolate biscuits and thought to myself they were ok but 87 calories each ! and no real nutritional value, I might give them a miss till Christmas. Don't beat yourself up, just try to eat better. Your body deserves it.

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SS, caring is so hard .My hub is 12 years younger than me ,I didn't see this coming .I try to stay close to my faith , and we've moved into Sheltered Housing as I may need carers for him soon .

Thanks for sharing X our weather doesn't do much for lightening your mood , looks like more flooding .I have been good today , no biscuits or treats .One day at a time .....X

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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