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First appointment tomorrow, super nervous



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Hello all,. I am a male, 37 years old….Living in Atlanta, GA. I’m having my first appointment tomorrow. I am about 5’8 in a half and I weigh 246. My BMI is about 37.4 … I am obese but do not LOOK obese. I have tried to get the weight down on my own. I have gained upward to 255 pounds in my life. I in my most recent trial to do it on my own have gotten down to 235 which took about 8 weeks to do so starting at 250 pounds. I have no gained 11 pounds back and back up there which has led me here to finally considering gastric sleeve. If I start the nutrition plan and lose 15 pounds before surgery, I will be at 230 and then my BMI will be at exactly 35. People will then look at me, maybe even the doctor who i have no met yet and say, “oh you look good, you dont need surgery”, I am afraid to start the process and have any kind of hiccups… I know how to “look slender” in certain clothes but to be honest, i need to be back to my 180 size. It’s better for my blood pressure and sleep apnea. At 230 pounds if I get there on my own, i still have BP issues. 5 years ago, i was able to get down to 218, but no lower than that. And now im back up to 246 again.I just dont know if this is right for me. I have a very physically demanding job which requires me to drink Water very often to hydrate. My concern is that I wont be able to hydrate properly after my surgery because i can only sip water. I need to be able to drink at least 1 liter of water per day on my demanding job. (One liter is 2 regular bottles of water)…. How did you all who are water drinkers overcome your water intake and hydration issues for those who must drink water as a necessity because of their physical demanding job? Also, did anyone who is my height 5’8 - 5’9 get surgery around 230- 240 pounds? What was your results? What did doc say?

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My starting weight was 5'7", 235 lbs... so close to the same BMI as you. Similar to you, I wondered if I was "big enough" to get the surgery... but I had increasing health issues... diabetes and sleep apnea. I am SO GLAD I DID IT.

I lost all of my excess weight, my diabetes is in remission, and I no longer have sleep apnea. And I love the way I look.

The reality is, even though you're not morbidly obese, the likelihood of you losing and keeping off a substantial amount of weight is near zero (as you've discovered). Weight loss surgery is the only evidence-based means of losing and maintaining the kind of loss we need to achieve a healthy weight.

Here is a video about Low BMI weight loss surgery outcomes. You can also search these forums for "low BMI." There are lots of us who have gone through the same questions you have.

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Thanks for posting that video. I was on the lower BMI and also wondered about the success of weight loss. Good to know !

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      1. New To This23

        I can relate to the parent's situation. I am 42 and still struggle with pleasing them. Yet they do whatever they want with no concern for how it affects anyone else, so why do I feel so obligated to them? I wish I had some advice that could help. One thing I have tried to do is stop sharing things with them that I really don't want to hear their opinion on. (like the business I am starting)

        Like with this surgery, I knew I was going to need their help getting to the appointments and back from the surgery, so I knew I had to tell them. But I did not tell them until I was almost at the point of getting surgery that I was doing this.

        I got hard judgment from my father, which I expected, I made him promise not to share this with his brothers (who are assholes) I told him whether he likes it or not I am an adult and I deserve respect and privacy especially when it concerns my health. (he begrudgingly agreed)

        My mom on the other hand was supportive, but she has the tendency to add some dramatic flair about everything. her typical M.O. is to pop onto social media and rattle on about how something that is not happening directly to her, is affecting her ( I get it there no talking to the man she married about this stuff, so it's nice to have someone to listen).

        I know they both struggled with trying to respect my wishes, they looked shocked when I told them that if I lived somewhere else, I would not have even told them I was having this surgery.

      2. NickelChip

        I'm glad your father did agree to respect your privacy by not sharing with your family. And I guess I should be glad my mom keeps the dramatic flair off of the socials!

        I'm both lucky and unlucky that my brother had VGS 15 years ago. On the one hand, my mom understands the concept and has seen my brother's good results from it, (we inherited the obesity from my father's side, and Mom has never dealt with more than those pesky 10 lbs average weight people always want to lose). On the other hand, my brother took exactly the opposite approach from me. He didn't live near family and told no one, had no support. He went to Mexico as self-pay and didn't say a word until about 4 weeks after when he was having some serious emotional struggles, living alone, and compounded by the fear of realizing that to get family support, he had to "confess." So his recovery was very different than what I anticipate for me. But because of all that, my mom definitely sees this as a "REALLY BIG DEAL." Which it is, but not the level she's at with it. Like, it's not an open heart surgery being performed in 1982, or experimental cancer treatment. I've also noticed that as my mom ages, she takes change a lot harder. She doesn't have the mental flexibility anymore to make an instant change of plans and roll with it, whereas I do that probably a dozen times a day.

        I'm grateful for their help, but it comes at a price.

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