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Hi everyone,

I'm 53. Standard yoyo dieting over the last 30 years...each time I gain, it's more than I lost. I have a lot to live for, so I'm getting the RNY gastric bypass. I don't have a surgery date yet, but it's looking like it will be in August.

I live with my son, dil, and 2 grandkids. I want to live a long time to be a part of the family for years to come.

The only weight related diagnoses I have (shockingly, with a BMI of 59!) are high blood pressure and sleep apnea. My labs are great: Cholesterol is 176 with an HDL of 57, Triglycerides are 114, A1c is 5. We attribute that to having good genes, and boy, am I grateful for them!

I have chronic, severe, treatment-resistant, depression, so everything is harder than it should be. Even when I don't feel like I have a lot to live for, I make myself do it anyway. I take baby steps until I can see progress and then take bigger steps. This decision, though, to get surgery, is different. I actually have hope, and it feels strange because it's been a long time. I feel motivated, and that's new too. I'm hoping that being able to move and be active will help to decrease the depression, because I would like to avoid ECT if at all possible. I also have a hip problem and am on bedrest 90% of the time, per my orthopedic surgeon's orders. I can't have this fixed until I am down to 200#, so that's another motivator for me.

I hope to get and give lots of good info here, and look forward to reading ya'll!

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Hi YaYa!

I too am a Grand Parent and made the same decision based on wanting to live long for them.

It sounds like you are in the right frame of mind to get this done. Everyone crosses the line and makes that final decision. Congrats!

Going into this with depression will be a little harder, in my opinion, because most of this journey is mental. My best advice to you is to make sure you have a counselor or therapist to touch base with. Does your team provide you with this? if not, make sure to ask them.

My own journey has uncovered some eating issues that I’m dealing with, and I am working through the reasons and finding it very insightful. It’s amazing how things get connected in your mind.

You are correct on the mobility as you lose weight it will get better. Heck just washing myself in the shower is easier, I have more room! LOL.

There will be ups and downs. You can always check in here to find someone who has been through the same issues. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, you are not alone.

Your motivation is key, find strength in that… make it your prime focus.

If a doubt creeps in, look towards your son and grandbabies, and remember that long life you will have!


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Welcome! We all, I think, come to a place where we are faced with a "this is my reason for doing this" moment. For me, at 40, my health was deteriorating very quickly. I had to do something. I still have kids at home, a husband, a life... seriously, I'm just 40.
I also have depression, anxiety, PTSD, and BPD. I've been on so many different medications to try to treat my diagnoses. It's a lot of work managing mental health. I also lean very heavily on my faith to get through.
It is key to build a great and supportive of the bariatric surgery mental health team. Therapy and a great med provider are very helpful. Medications will need to be closely monitored as you lose weight quickly. And therapy is SO important. A lot of mental space is needed after surgery, and therapy helps sort out all that's running through your mind.
If your insurance pays for it, there are also other non medication options for depression such as TMS. I did that a few years ago, and it helped take the edge off. It's definitely something to speak to a psychiatrist about. Some people also do ketamine treatment for depression. My insurance didn't pay for it, so I can not speak to it effectiveness.
I do have to say, losing weight has been a huge boost in confidence and has helped me feel less depressed. Also, exercise has had the same effect. Keep pushing through. You got this.

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Welcome in this great forum. You will be on the other side of the op before you know it. August is so near. I believe there is a August thread you could join.

I read lots of the back pages of this forum and it gave me a lot of knowledge I needed later. If you have any questions just ask. As we are world wide, there is always someone here.

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Hello! I am new here, so I am still finding my way. I had weight gain his me over the past 10+ yrs. like it came on overnight. And I've tried and tried to diet but I always fall back-to-back habits. I had an eye-opening moment where I thought to myself, "You don't really see a lot of overweight elderly people" and that thought hit me hard. I am 40 and much too young to feel this old! My joints ache, my ankles swell, my back hurts, I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, GERD and anxiety out the wazoo. I am nowhere near ready to die, and I sort of had a "come to Jesus" moment with myself and knew I had to get serious about my weight and health. I have so much to live for and I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon!! I am a mother to a wonderful adult son. I have an amazing boyfriend and a family whom I love dearly. I love my job and have so many blessings that I don't want to take for granted. I keep telling myself "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", and I know that has to be true. I have one more appointment with my PCP before I can be submitted for insurance approval, and then hopefully a surgery date! :)

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21 hours ago, FlowerGirl44 said:

Hello! I am new here, so I am still finding my way. I had weight gain his me over the past 10+ yrs. like it came on overnight. And I've tried and tried to diet but I always fall back-to-back habits. I had an eye-opening moment where I thought to myself, "You don't really see a lot of overweight elderly people" and that thought hit me hard. I am 40 and much too young to feel this old! My joints ache, my ankles swell, my back hurts, I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, GERD and anxiety out the wazoo. I am nowhere near ready to die, and I sort of had a "come to Jesus" moment with myself and knew I had to get serious about my weight and health. I have so much to live for and I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon!! I am a mother to a wonderful adult son. I have an amazing boyfriend and a family whom I love dearly. I love my job and have so many blessings that I don't want to take for granted. I keep telling myself "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", and I know that has to be true. I have one more appointment with my PCP before I can be submitted for insurance approval, and then hopefully a surgery date! :)

Hello and welcome. One day very soon you will wake up and your bad symptoms will have disappeared. Its amazing. I feel as if I have had a new life, I gallop around now and do stuff that I never thought possible. Once you are through the early rough patch and are on real food again you will already know you made the right decision. Congratulations on starting the whole new version of you

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Hi there! I'm pretty new here as well. I appreciate being here, and it's a pleasure to meet you all. Yaya and Flowergirl, I can relate on a few levels. I join some of you in the grandparent category. I'd like to keep up with my little darlings and be here for them. I've been learning a lot from the seasoned group here and I'm grateful to those of you willing to stick around and share. I ruled out WLS 2+ years ago for, well, weight loss. But in January, liver disease and increasing health issues brought me back. If you would have told me a year ago I would have been motivated by health reasons I wouldn't have believed you. At age 62, it's time to act. I'm scheduled for sleeve surgery on July 27th. I wish you all well in your journey!

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Thank you for your supportive replies 😊. I'll browse around the site and get to know it.

😍 I knew I came to the right place!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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