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Hey so I was sleeves Sept 8 2021. In total I lost 68 pounds. I feel like a complete failure. On too that I’ve gained 10 pds of that back. The body dysmorphia is so real right now. Its like I’m falling into a depression I cant get rid of. I dont feel beautiful anymore , I hate walking past mirrors. Im constantly comparing myself to others. This weight-loss journey is more mental than anything. And it is overwhelming me. Please any tips or advice , I would greatly appreciate it. I’ve been working on my Water intake, cutting back on snacking and intermittent fasting hopefully something helps me.

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I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm not that far into the journey. However, I would go back to basics. Protein, fluids, and track EVERYTHING. Do you still have access to your dietitian? I'm sure others will have great advice as well.

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Hello and please do not feel like a failure. Lots of people on here have not lost the weight they imagined they would. Some people think that the sleeve or bypass will do all the work and that they need to do none of the hard work. Could you tell us a little more, we really need to know - What you weighed, what you are eating, what you have tried to do to get back on track, etc.

It does sound like you need counselling, body dysmorphia is a wicked cruel syndrome. Please get the help you need

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My advice would be to not focus on the food part right now. Focus on you and how you view yourself. From your post, it sounds like you don't value yourself very much at all. I don't know anything about you, but having felt similar to what you describe and knowing how that leads me to spiral, you need to realize that you do matter, you are valuable, and that you are not a failure. Whether that means seeing a counselor, reading some good self help books, or some other method, I think that would have the biggest impact. It is my belief that a lot of overeating comes from shame spirals, food addiction, and general low self worth. It is an evil evil self fulfilling prophecy if you let it go untreated.

As far as books go, I recommend "Weight Loss Surgery Does NOT Treat Food Addiction" and "Alan Carrs Easy Way to Quit Emotional Eating"

Best of luck, i'll say some prayers for you

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Sorry you are dealing with this. First, you’re down 50 lbs in a year and 9 months!!!! That’s friggen awesome!!! My guess is it took you a lot longer to gain that 50lbs than it was to lose it! Second, it sounds like you may benefit from some counseling to help with the head trash- I will be the first to admit my mental health work impacted me so much more than any of the physical work. Last, go back to the basics of your eating habits. Track your intake (calories and macros), eat Protein first then vegetables then carbs, and then if you’re able to get moving and exercise! Doesn’t matter if you’re walking or powerlifting… get moving. Activity drives attitude. Hope this helps and remember, the surgery isn’t the fix… it’s a tool to allow you to make sustainable healthier lifestyle decisions. You got this! My last thoughts are look forward and not backwards. Whatever you did or didn’t do can’t be changed. Today is your opportunity to be a little better than you were yesterday! Tomorrow you get an opportunity to be a little better than you were today…. Rinse and repeat and keep fighting the good fight. You deserve to be the best version of yourself!!!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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