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Pre op tale…. The struggle is real

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because I like to over share sometimes (lol) and just give people a window into a true reality of a very large persons journey struggling with bad habits, eating disorder, anxiety depression etc….… I have decided to show a general weight progression for my weight loss journey so far….it has been far from drops all the time, even when I was doing the right thing!

My high weight was July 2021 when I tipped the scales at 456.

I am starting the rest of my story in January 2022. I was taking Ryselbus for a bit and was back down to 440. It was at this time that I doubled down to start doing the mental work on my stress eating, emotional eating, binge eating and other disordered eating which had gotten me pretty immobile and huge.

During feb, march and April I avoided the scale, focusing on my relationship with food, the triggers contained in my relationship with other people who had made me turn to binging and life in general. Also in some changes in portion size and being able to stop when full (which was hard for me)

but April 24th I stepped on the scale and was 426. I felt like I had made progress on me for the first time in a long time.

May 8th I was gradually down to 421, then my body did the first drop on may 9th (which I have learned is normal pattern for me) to 414.6

I went up about two pounds and down about two pounds for another couple weeks until finally dropping so to 405.6 May 27th.

June I really worked hard on dealing with fast food addiction and some very deep emotional hurts along with work stress and financial stress. My weight varied from 412.6 down (yep, gained!) to 403 at the end of the month. I was gaining, I was loosing, I was struggling to eat better and not loose my head to anxiety and other emotions. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. The whole month tracks up and down and up and down until I started to find my way towards the end of the month and the struggle became easier.

June 30th saw my surgeon for first consult. I was 403.2 that morning on my scale

July 4th I celebrated my own independence by leaving 400s with 399.6… I had started doing a lot of Portion Control and making healthier choices. Had nearly eliminated fast food. You would think I would be on a better path, but no, my body was still going to frustrate me. Even though I was eating a consistent diet, my weight decided to go on a joy ride and spiked back past 400 to 411.8. I was devastated and disheartened. How could I gain when my calories were in control and I was not eating much junk??? Emotionally I struggled and dug deeper into my past, my present and what I wanted for my future. I made some emotional breakthroughs and slowly the scale slid down, leaving the month at 396.4

Then August 3rd, 399.9 lbs, my nutritionist appt where I got my surgical guidelines and it threw me for a loop. I was told three weeks of either 1) 4 Protein Shakes a day and a light meal of lean Protein and steamed veggies or 2) 50 total carbs a day….. that morning I had what I thought of a healthy smoothie Breakfast with split pea (protein/fiber), berries and a banana with ice… I did the math on the carbs. It was 108 for my breakfast… could I do this?? with my struggles with disordered eating I knew I needed baby steps to get used to anything. Carb counting seemed to give me more variety and feeling of control. I started tracking all foods and reducing my cab count throughout Aug….. a miracle happened to my body as my mind relaxed with the guidelines given to me. The weight fluctuated, but trended truly down. I ended august at 376.3

by September I was (mostly) living with 50 carbs a day.. reading all labels and looking up food, paying attention to portion. Funny thing is my calories only dropped about 200 from my pre carb counting diet, but I was even more stringent with what I would consume… I was ready for my surgery when my surgeon was finally able to schedule ! By making my new habits my new normal, I was down to 365.6 at the end of September.

A few hiccups delayed my surgery scheduling (mostly an uncommon complicated insurance issue ) but I kept moving with my new normal… I finally got my date of Nov 3rd, so October was go time. The time to double down and follow things to a T so I could be in the best shape for surgery. My body wasn’t as cooperative even with me doing right as I hoped, but with perseverance I dropped more weight. During the last week in October with changing nothing I went from 362 to 353. My body just finally released the weight…

surgery day 351.4 !

Will do a post op so far in a bit…

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You've really put in the work girl! This is such a mental game and your game is strong. Good job and look forward to reading the rest.

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