Back last March, I got ESG (endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty). I had 6 weeks of a liquids only diet. I painstakingly tracked calories after that according to what doctors said to do -- a 1200 calorie/day diet. Yeah, I'm a short woman, but it sucks. But I soldiered on! I put myself on my home scale week after week, watching the number bounce around but generally trend down. I was so happy. I started at 251 post-colonoscopy-cleanse (since they have to remove all of everything in your gut before doing the procedure), and finally, after a year, I got to 215. I was so glad! And then I stepped on an actually accurate scale at work today, apparently. 238.

Are you f**king joking?

I said it had to be my clothes and stuff, so I went into the bathroom (single occupancy, thankfully), and stripped. Hopped on. 235. Dammit.

Well, maybe it's not accurate. We have some weights around the office, I said. Let's put one on, I said. It claims to be 45 lbs. Scale says...45.2 lbs. Augh.

So my bathroom scale is either 15 pounds off, the very concept of which is destroying me, or I've gained a whole ton of water weight for no reason. But I've taken tape measurements -- my waist is down 4 inches and my hips are down 5. I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts. My arms and stomach look more defined. That's got to be significant, right? ...Right?

If all this adds up, I have not lost 14% of my body weight. I have lost 6%. And that means I am a severe outlier and a failure at the procedure. This was the last ditch effort for me after more than a decade of trying everything I could figure. Most weight loss meds haven't worked for me. Saxenda worked for a while and then stopped.

Was the doctor's office scale wrong? It agreed with my bathroom scale at the time. Has my bathroom scale broken and I'm just fucked? Did I just gain a whole shitload of water weight? I don't have my period due to an IUD, so I can't imagine it's that.

Please give me something that isn't "you failed." Please. Please.

3 hours ago, Miratia said:

I say "think" because I'm not like, weighing my food. That makes me neurotic and ain't nobody got time for that level of panic.

No need to weigh it. Just be mindful of the calories listed and the serving size. If you keep track of that, and you record everything in an app, it will help you be more accountable to yourself.

2 hours ago, BypassingMyPhatAss♡ said:

The reason I brought up the Sleeve Plication being different than the standard sleeve surgery is because I wanted to stress that not all weight loss surgeries are equal. After reading more about Sleeve Plication, it sounds a lot like the Lap Band, as in it doesn't do anything except give restriction... and neither surgery offers any changes to hormones. As a former Lap Band patient I personally know how much of a failure Lap Band is for a lot of people. You put in the work, but a majority of people with them never achieve their goal weight. Some surgeries are more powerful than others. So I feel like you're putting in the required work to lose weight, but it might be the surgery itself just isn't powerful enough. I felt like that about the Lap Band when I had it. I watched others lose much faster and more weight than me. It was very frustrating. I'd give the Wegovy a try when it becomes available.

And there's an option to block people here. I find it helpful to not even read the Negative Nancy's. ?

true facts?! how do you block people

3 hours ago, Miratia said:

I have an appointment Tuesday. I'm terrified. I'm probably just going to get told I'm not doing enough.

I want Wegovy, because apparently it hella works, but there's a shortage. No way am I getting to 200 lbs by October for my wedding. I'm starting to get desperate and look around to see if I can get something faster online...

Not a good idea. No telling what you'll actually get. That can be really dangerous.

Edited May 12, 20224 yr by SleeveDiva2022

3 hours ago, Miratia said:

I have zero health issues related to my weight (several doctors can attest), and so if it weren't about vanity, I wouldn't be doing any of this, I'd be eating a damn cupcake the way I want to.

This is really the part that concerns me out of everything on here. Vanity alone should never be a reason to put yourself and your body though these kinds of physical changes and major surgery. I know you don't like how you looked, but WLS isn't for vanity. It's for those who are suffering from health issues and are obese and who can't lose weight and keep it off any other way. Did you have to do any kind of psych eval or pre surgery therapy? Did your doctors know you only wanted the surgery to improve your looks?

Revision: it takes a month to recover from an actual sleeve, and I have way too fast-paced a job to do that. I'd probably have to take unpaid leave or even quit the job. I can't. ESG was only a thing I could do because it had a week recovery time tops. If the sleeve had a week recovery, I'd have done that instead.

Regarding vanity: They know. They have all my medical stats. They know my blood pressure is something that people aspire to, that my labs are clean as a whistle, and that I can drag a kayak a mile through choppy waters to shore or walk 10 miles straight for 3 hours. They know I have major psychological issues surrounding my body. I've seen a therapist for over a decade for in part this reason. It hasn't made me like how I look whatsoever, just helped me cope enough to have a reasonable life. I'm on several psych meds.

As it stands, I have a view on this that is similar to transition. When you have gender dysphoria, people who are any kind of sane by modern science don't tell you to suck it up and go to therapy to embrace being your birth sex. They tell you to seek hormone treatments and transition, because transition works. I don't think that trying to love being fat works either. You change your body if you want to change your body.

I'm going to cut back to 1000 cal/day goal and hate my life, but I guess it's something. And I mean technically I guess I have lost like 30 lbs worst case. I'm just so pissed and dismayed that I haven't gotten below pre-pandemic weight before my wedding. I want to be Internet Hot (tm) at my wedding.

Edited May 12, 20224 yr by Miratia

27 minutes ago, Miratia said:

true facts?! how do you block people

Scroll over their name, a box will pop up and you select, "Ignore User."

Before despairing (or cutting down to 1000 calories or buying who knows what online), take a deep breath and wait until you meet with your surgery center.

Hopefully they will be helpful!

This is going to be long so bear with me.

First, let’s do the numbers.
Your starting weight post clean out was 251. Your weight now on that same-ish scale is 215, that’s a 36lb loss.

With ESG the average weight loss is about 10-20% of total body weight at a year meaning at 251lbs your average for 10-20% would be 25.1-50.2. Your actual weight loss is 36 for 14.34%.

With ESG the total percentage of total body weight loss at 5 years from one study of 203 patients is only about 14.5% if follow up with providers is recurring most saw their biggest amount lost at 2 years post ESG.

It seems that you’re on track for what that study suggests. I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

Secondly, however I do want to offer some suggestions for food. Focusing on high volume, low calorie foods can offer bulk because you’ll have more to chew. For example- A 100g of cucumber is only 15 calories while 100g of cooked pasta is 160. If you miss pasta try tofu shirataki noodles- an entire 8oz package is about 20 calories depending on brand. These can sit a bit heavy though depending on the person.

Salads full of leafy greens, fruits and vegetables with minimal dressing can help you feel full. They also provide crunch which I myself enjoy.

Season your food!- bland food can be boring and unfulfilling and loads of “diet” food recipes lack flavor. Adding spices can help make things you’re eating more enjoyable and trick your brain into being satisfied quicker.
Try roasted chickpeas- 1 can chickpeas drained and rinsed then tossed with garlic powder, paprika, onion powder, and chili powder (if you tolerate spicy) with a tsp of olive oil then baked at 350°F for about 25 minutes makes a great topping for salads while providing protein and fiber, both of which help keep you full.

Lastly, make sure you’re following your clinic’s guidelines for liquids before and after meals. Drinking too soon after eating can make you feel hungry sooner and sabotage your hard work. If you can’t bear the thought of giving up liquids with all your meals try soup! Broth based soups are a great way to get in fluids, vegetables, protein, and flavor.

4 minutes ago, Starwarsandcupcakes said:

This is going to be long so bear with me.

First, let’s do the numbers.
Your starting weight post clean out was 251. Your weight now on that same-ish scale is 215, that’s a 36lb loss.

With ESG the average weight loss is about 10-20% of total body weight at a year meaning at 251lbs your average for 10-20% would be 25.1-50.2. Your actual weight loss is 36 for 14.34%.

With ESG the total percentage of total body weight loss at 5 years from one study of 203 patients is only about 14.5% if follow up with providers is recurring most saw their biggest amount lost at 2 years post ESG.

It seems that you’re on track for what that study suggests. I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

Yesss. This was the point I was trying to make with my posts. Thank you for being less lazy than me, lol.

You say you don’t weigh your food, perhaps the calories you are logging are not quite accurate. Can you commit to doing it for just a couple of weeks? Maybe you are underestimating your portions and eating more calories than you think. You won’t have to weigh and measure forever. Once you have done it a few times with a meal you should be able to pretty much eyeball it but I know I was surprised when I measured and weighed things for the first time.

13 minutes ago, ShoppGirl said:

You say you don’t weigh your food, perhaps the calories you are logging are not quite accurate. Can you commit to doing it for just a couple of weeks? Maybe you are underestimating your portions and eating more calories than you think. You won’t have to weigh and measure forever. Once you have done it a few times with a meal you should be able to pretty much eyeball it but I know I was surprised when I measured and weighed things for the first time.

I told my husband about the weighing thing and he is SO ON BOARD so if he does it for me I'll have the data lol. I just feel like it would be crossing some threshold I'm not ready for to be one of those people tweaking tiny amounts of food onto a postage scale...

52 minutes ago, Starwarsandcupcakes said:

This is going to be long so bear with me.

First, let’s do the numbers.
Your starting weight post clean out was 251. Your weight now on that same-ish scale is 215, that’s a 36lb loss.

With ESG the average weight loss is about 10-20% of total body weight at a year meaning at 251lbs your average for 10-20% would be 25.1-50.2. Your actual weight loss is 36 for 14.34%.

With ESG the total percentage of total body weight loss at 5 years from one study of 203 patients is only about 14.5% if follow up with providers is recurring most saw their biggest amount lost at 2 years post ESG.

It seems that you’re on track for what that study suggests. I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

Secondly, however I do want to offer some suggestions for food. Focusing on high volume, low calorie foods can offer bulk because you’ll have more to chew. For example- A 100g of cucumber is only 15 calories while 100g of cooked Pasta is 160. If you miss pasta try tofu Shirataki noodles- an entire 8oz package is about 20 calories depending on brand. These can sit a bit heavy though depending on the person.

Salads full of leafy greens, fruits and vegetables with minimal dressing can help you feel full. They also provide crunch which I myself enjoy.

Season your food!- bland food can be boring and unfulfilling and loads of “diet” food recipes lack flavor. Adding spices can help make things you’re eating more enjoyable and trick your brain into being satisfied quicker.
Try roasted chickpeas- 1 can chickpeas drained and rinsed then tossed with garlic powder, paprika, onion powder, and chili powder (if you tolerate spicy) with a tsp of olive oil then baked at 350°F for about 25 minutes makes a great topping for salads while providing Protein and Fiber, both of which help keep you full.

Lastly, make sure you’re following your clinic’s guidelines for liquids before and after meals. Drinking too soon after eating can make you feel hungry sooner and sabotage your hard work. If you can’t bear the thought of giving up liquids with all your meals try soup! broth based Soups are a great way to get in fluids, vegetables, protein, and flavor.

Thank you for the data. That's a lot of encouragement, actually. ❤️

I'm the worst because I absolutely freaking hate salad. And anything that is a leaf. It tastes so bitter. Cabbage is basically the only leaf I consider edible lol.

I miss two things in my life, and I'm not sure there are substitutes, but maybe you have ideas?

1. Restaurants. I love being catered to. It's nice to just go sit in a booth and read my phone and stuff. I also hate dishes and cleaning, so takeout was a staple before I got ESG. There's little more sad than sitting around while your friends are eating and realizing you have to go hungry on a tiny appetizer or take a whole ton of food home. It's...it's just...I don't go out to eat too much anymore. More than I should, but way less than I did. You guys will get me to ditch my once a week Indian food brunch over my cold, dead corpse, though. No way no how.

2. Desserts. Holy cow I have a massive sweet tooth. I try to satisfy it with diet soda and some sucralose in my tea, but I was raised in the South by family who asked kids if they wanted ice cream the moment they got bored. I had to kick that habit a long while ago, but it kills me that I've had to cut back even more. I would shiv somebody's grandma for chocolate cake, and it has to be in quantity to be satisfying. A teeny sliver of cake is a joke -- you gotta have one of those big slices you could use a doorstop. When I was a kid, I could do that. I miss going to a local seafood joint that had a slice the size of my kid hand. Cubed. Like a hand on each side. Slight exaggeration, but it was heaven. I'm sniffling just thinking about it. I have cut out like 98% of desserts in my life and I still cry inside when my friends get a milkshake and I'm not allowed any. It feels punitive. To me, nice food is as good as sex, easily.

I wish I could make myself hate food, so much. I'm so lucky because my husband is a god in the kitchen, but I'm unlucky because he wants to make all the things and I have to go "...nope, can't have it, but now I can SMELL IT ALL DAY."

Edited May 12, 20224 yr by Miratia

21 minutes ago, Miratia said:

Thank you for the data. That's a lot of encouragement, actually. ❤️

I'm the worst because I absolutely freaking hate salad. And anything that is a leaf. It tastes so bitter. Cabbage is basically the only leaf I consider edible lol.

I miss two things in my life, and I'm not sure there are substitutes, but maybe you have ideas?

1. Restaurants. I love being catered to. It's nice to just go sit in a booth and read my phone and stuff. I also hate dishes and cleaning, so takeout was a staple before I got ESG. There's little more sad than sitting around while your friends are eating and realizing you have to go hungry on a tiny appetizer or take a whole ton of food home. It's...it's just...I don't go out to eat too much anymore. More than I should, but way less than I did. You guys will get me to ditch my once a week Indian food brunch over my cold, dead corpse, though. No way no how.

2. Desserts. Holy cow I have a massive sweet tooth. I try to satisfy it with diet soda and some sucralose in my tea, but I was raised in the South by family who asked kids if they wanted ice cream the moment they got bored. I had to kick that habit a long while ago, but it kills me that I've had to cut back even more. I would shiv somebody's grandma for chocolate cake, and it has to be in quantity to be satisfying. A teeny sliver of cake is a joke -- you gotta have one of those big slices you could use a doorstop. When I was a kid, I could do that. I miss going to a local seafood joint that had a slice the size of my kid hand. Cubed. Like a hand on each side. Slight exaggeration, but it was heaven. I'm sniffling just thinking about it. I have cut out like 98% of desserts in my life and I still cry inside when my friends get a milkshake and I'm not allowed any. It feels punitive. To me, nice food is as good as sex, easily.

I wish I could make myself hate food, so much. I'm so lucky because my husband is a god in the kitchen, but I'm unlucky because he wants to make all the things and I have to go "...nope, can't have it, but now I can SMELL IT ALL DAY."

If I'm honest, I think part of the problem is that you went into this for the wrong reasons, and because of that, you don't have the motivation to do the work necessary to get the results you want. It sounds like you wanted a miracle cure that would melt the weight off without you having to make any sacrifices or changes, and it just doesn't work that way. Granted, the surgery you chose doesn't have the results others do, but it does still produce results if you work the program. But you sound resistant to any of the suggestions being given, unless someone else does it for you. You have to take accountability for yourself, what and how you eat, and the pitfalls and successes you have. You get out what you put in. I don't think your doctors were correct in letting you have a WLS knowing your psychological issues and that you only wanted it for vanity's sake. This is a major step that requires lifelong changes. Those who transition know that and are ready and willing to make the changes to live in the bodies they always believed they should have. But transitioning isn't about vanity. It's about feeling and believing you are a different gender and getting the procedures done to make their outside match their insides. I believe you can do this. And I believe you want it. But you will have to find the motivation and the desire to do the work and help yourself before it will work. The results you want are 100% within reach, as long as you're willing to change your mindset and do the work. And I know you can, if you want it bad enough.

2 minutes ago, SleeveDiva2022 said:

If I'm honest, I think part of the problem is that you went into this for the wrong reasons, and because of that, you don't have the motivation to do the work necessary to get the results you want. It sounds like you wanted a miracle cure that would melt the weight off without you having to make any sacrifices or changes, and it just doesn't work that way. Granted, the surgery you chose doesn't have the results others do, but it does still produce results if you work the program. But you sound resistant to any of the suggestions being given, unless someone else does it for you. You have to take accountability for yourself, what and how you eat, and the pitfalls and successes you have. You get out what you put in. I don't think your doctors were correct in letting you have a WLS knowing your psychological issues and that you only wanted it for vanity's sake. This is a major step that requires lifelong changes. Those who transition know that and are ready and willing to make the changes to live in the bodies they always believed they should have. But transitioning isn't about vanity. It's about feeling and believing you are a different gender and getting the procedures done to make their outside match their insides. I believe you can do this. And I believe you want it. But you will have to find the motivation and the desire to do the work and help yourself before it will work. The results you want are 100% within reach, as long as you're willing to change your mindset and do the work. And I know you can, if you want it bad enough.

I love this so much!!!

So you're boiling all this down to "just try harder"? ...Yeah, ok, maybe I shouldn't have posted here.

I have tried my ass off since I was a literal child and got made fun of in school for being the chubby kid. I have been on like every diet ever. I have done sports. You seem to think I'm being lazy, and that, frankly, is a pile of "stuff I can't say on this forum apparently because it will get bleeped." I was hoping people who got these procedures would understand that "suck it up and try harder" hasn't worked for most of the population and sure won't work now.

I have zero shame at doing things for vanity. I'd rather be gorgeous and depressed than, well, me and depressed. It's like they say, money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather be sad on a yacht.

Can we delete threads? I'd like to delete this whole thing.

Edited May 12, 20224 yr by Miratia