Back last March, I got ESG (endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty). I had 6 weeks of a liquids only diet. I painstakingly tracked calories after that according to what doctors said to do -- a 1200 calorie/day diet. Yeah, I'm a short woman, but it sucks. But I soldiered on! I put myself on my home scale week after week, watching the number bounce around but generally trend down. I was so happy. I started at 251 post-colonoscopy-cleanse (since they have to remove all of everything in your gut before doing the procedure), and finally, after a year, I got to 215. I was so glad! And then I stepped on an actually accurate scale at work today, apparently. 238.

Are you f**king joking?

I said it had to be my clothes and stuff, so I went into the bathroom (single occupancy, thankfully), and stripped. Hopped on. 235. Dammit.

Well, maybe it's not accurate. We have some weights around the office, I said. Let's put one on, I said. It claims to be 45 lbs. Scale says...45.2 lbs. Augh.

So my bathroom scale is either 15 pounds off, the very concept of which is destroying me, or I've gained a whole ton of water weight for no reason. But I've taken tape measurements -- my waist is down 4 inches and my hips are down 5. I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts. My arms and stomach look more defined. That's got to be significant, right? ...Right?

If all this adds up, I have not lost 14% of my body weight. I have lost 6%. And that means I am a severe outlier and a failure at the procedure. This was the last ditch effort for me after more than a decade of trying everything I could figure. Most weight loss meds haven't worked for me. Saxenda worked for a while and then stopped.

Was the doctor's office scale wrong? It agreed with my bathroom scale at the time. Has my bathroom scale broken and I'm just fucked? Did I just gain a whole shitload of water weight? I don't have my period due to an IUD, so I can't imagine it's that.

Please give me something that isn't "you failed." Please. Please.

15 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

I just re-read your first post:

I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts.

So, you said that you are eating 1200 calories, but here you say you "think" you're making your calorie counts, which to me seems to indicate you're not actually TRACKING your calories. Try for just a week to enter every single thing you eat and drink into a calorie counting program like myfitnesspal or baritastic. Then, see what you're actually eating each day. That will also help you when you meet with a nutritionist, which I strongly recommend

I say "think" because I'm not like, weighing my food. That makes me neurotic and ain't nobody got time for that level of panic. I do record what I eat and drink. I have to balance absolutely hating myself whenever I think about weight (and yes I'm in therapy, this hasn't gone away despite like a decade of work on it) with actually managing to count calories.

Your earlier post: Is it really "fatphobic" to not like the way fat looks? I really don't think so. People have preferences. You can't be attracted to everyone. I have zero health issues related to my weight (several doctors can attest), and so if it weren't about vanity, I wouldn't be doing any of this, I'd be eating a damn cupcake the way I want to.

As for timeline: My doctor says if I haven't lost at least 15% in a year, it's not enough.

I see a dietician monthly. The thing is, since my scale kept showing slightly lower numbers, and they were good lower numbers, we all thought what was happening was fine. I actually settled into a life that I liked, even eating less food. But I can't really go any less, or cut out any more things I like, without running into "now this is a drain on my daily mental resources," which I can't afford to have. I already have depression and anxiety going on. I have a difficult career. I can't do much more.

Edited May 12, 20224 yr by Miratia

2 minutes ago, Miratia said:

I say "think" because I'm not like, weighing my food. That makes me neurotic and ain't nobody got time for that level of panic. I do record what I eat and drink. I have to balance absolutely hating myself whenever I think about weight (and yes I'm in therapy, this hasn't gone away despite like a decade of work on it) with actually managing to count calories.

Your earlier post: Is it really "fatphobic" to not like the way fat looks? I really don't think so. People have preferences. You can't be attracted to everyone. I have zero health issues related to my weight (several doctors can attest), and so if it weren't about vanity, I wouldn't be doing any of this, I'd be eating a damn cupcake the way I want to.

As for timeline: My doctor says if I haven't lost at least 15% in a year, it's not enough.

You should reach out to your doctor about your progress and your concerns, and ask them what their suggestions are. Should you maybe try a medication? Eat more? Exercise more? Do weight lifting? Drink more fluids? Etc.

1 minute ago, lizonaplane said:

You should reach out to your doctor about your progress and your concerns, and ask them what their suggestions are. Should you maybe try a medication? Eat more? Exercise more? Do weight lifting? Drink more fluids? Etc.

I have an appointment Tuesday. I'm terrified. I'm probably just going to get told I'm not doing enough.

I want Wegovy, because apparently it hella works, but there's a shortage. No way am I getting to 200 lbs by October for my wedding. I'm starting to get desperate and look around to see if I can get something faster online...

Edited May 12, 20224 yr by Miratia

5 minutes ago, Miratia said:

I have an appointment Tuesday. I'm terrified. I'm probably just going to get told I'm not doing enough.

I want Wegovy, because apparently it hella works, but there's a shortage. No way am I getting to 200 lbs by October for my wedding. I'm starting to get desperate and look around to see if I can get something faster online...

I am on metformin and topamax because I have been hungry since right after surgery. I think they work pretty well and they're really cheap. But if you order some random thing off the internet you might end up with something incredibly unsafe.

There are many medications, like phentermine, that are very effective and reasonably safe. But there are also scams and poisons out there.

Good luck!

52 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

Don't worry about @Tony B - NJ. He just likes to be unhelpful and mean. Get back in touch with your surgery center and see what they say.

Unhelpful and mean? No maam. I just try to be honest with people and tell them the truth. There is something not right about what is going on there. 20 pounds after a year is not success and to say so is not helpful to the poster. If you want to just be told what you want to hear, then do not post. This is trying to help people, not just make them feel good and continue doing what they are doing.

1 hour ago, Miratia said:

And now I just want to give up entirely. This is the opposite of helpful. I guess I'm really just bad at everything.

Not the point. The point is that you need to reevaluate what you are doing and make the adjustments that are needed. REALLY count and track what you are eating, do more exercise, drink lots of water etc, etc. Back to Bariatric Basics.

God forbid anyone post for encouragement and comfort. Go away, please.

1 minute ago, Miratia said:

God forbid anyone post for encouragement and comfort. Go away, please.

I am sorry you feel that way. I was assuming you wanted truthful advice, not just to have people reassure you that everything is going to be ok even if they don't believe that. I will never post to your account again if you don't actually want help to be succesful.

1 minute ago, Tony B - NJ said:

I am sorry you feel that way. I was assuming you wanted truthful advice, not just to have people reassure you that everything is going to be ok even if they don't believe that. I will never post to your account again if you don't actually want help to be succesful.

You're not helpful. Most people do not find being told they're doing everything wrong helpful in any way shape or form. Most people find supportive comments more helpful in changing their behavior then "tough love".

And... YOU ARE NOT HER DOCTOR.

Also, did you see he made a passive-aggressive post in the Rants area about this? Ugh.

I'm already screwed up enough. I don't need anything more to make me sad. I need scraps of hope and happiness.

There is a lot of advice re: the scale and weight issue. Talk to your center and see what they have to say/think.

I'm going to focus on something else: I weighed your starting weight at my wedding, and I looked flipping amazing. It was my wedding. I was marrying the man I love and who loves me. All my family and friends were there and they were all happy for me. I look at pictures from then, and somehow, I do not complain that I looked fat, even though I certainly was still obese. I normally hate most pictures of myself, but I don't feel that way about my wedding because all I can is the happiness from the day and just revel in the happy memories. I am so excited just to get BACK to my wedding weight, much less lower than that.

I say this not to center attention on me, or make you feel bad, but to make the point that you shouldn't fixate on a certain number to make you beautiful or worthy for your wedding. You will have a beautiful day. Clearly, someone loves you and wants to marry you at your original weight, much less at your current one or some future one. Perhaps focus on that, because stressing over a number before your wedding isn't going to increase the likelihood of hitting that goal. In fact, quite the opposite.

Also other meds have not worked. Phentermine didn't work, Metformin didn't work, the Phentermine-Topiramate didn't work, Qsymia didn't work. Nothing but Saxenda put a dent in this, and my insurance stopped covering it. I did change jobs and thus insurance recently, so I'm going to see if anything has changed. I'm an annoyingly difficult case.

The reason I brought up the Sleeve Plication being different than the standard sleeve surgery is because I wanted to stress that not all weight loss surgeries are equal. After reading more about Sleeve Plication, it sounds a lot like the Lap Band, as in it doesn't do anything except give restriction... and neither surgery offers any changes to hormones. As a former Lap Band patient I personally know how much of a failure Lap Band is for a lot of people. You put in the work, but a majority of people with them never achieve their goal weight. Some surgeries are more powerful than others. So I feel like you're putting in the required work to lose weight, but it might be the surgery itself just isn't powerful enough. I felt like that about the Lap Band when I had it. I watched others lose much faster and more weight than me. It was very frustrating. I'd give the Wegovy a try when it becomes available.

And there's an option to block people here. I find it helpful to not even read the Negative Nancy's. ?

17 minutes ago, lizonaplane said:

You're not helpful. Most people do not find being told they're doing everything wrong helpful in any way shape or form. Most people find supportive comments more helpful in changing their behavior then "tough love".

And... YOU ARE NOT HER DOCTOR.

Why don't you just mind your business. Cheering her on and telling her everything is going to be alright is not the answer either. Tell me how telling her she is going everything right changes the trajectory of her situation?

14 minutes ago, Miratia said:

Also other meds have not worked. Phentermine didn't work, Metformin didn't work, the Phentermine-Topiramate didn't work, Qsymia didn't work. Nothing but Saxenda put a dent in this, and my insurance stopped covering it. I did change jobs and thus insurance recently, so I'm going to see if anything has changed. I'm an annoyingly difficult case.

Phentermine didn't work for me the first time because I ate AROUND it. I ate when I wasn't hungry. If you can really listen to your body cues about hunger, the surgery might help it work this time around.