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Absolutely hate myself now



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The food addiction is real, and combining that with surgery not being an instant cure all that fixes your problems, while still allowing you to eat as you did before is a double whammy. I'm dealing with missing the food I used to eat, and it stays on my mind constantly still. I'm only 2 weeks out from my procedure, but not regretting it so far.

As @ChunkCat and others have said, basically kissing diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol goodbye is what makes the compromise worth it to me. Five years or so ago, before I started having debilitating problems with all of those, I probably would've regretted it, but since my health declined significantly in the last year, to the point that I was a burden on my wife and family, I had to make this change.

I don't know if this will help anyone that is on the fence or regretting having it done, but take it from me, if you can avoid having the uncontrolled blood sugars issues even with meds, not knowing if I'm going to pass out or have my heart feel like its going to beat out of my chest from hypertension and tachycardia, it is worth it. My dizzy spells and stroke-level blood pressure have already subsided thankfully. I'm already off my diabetes meds, just on a reduced dose of my blood pressure medicine, which my primary care thinks I can wean off of by March.

Not trying to sound condescending, because you are going through a lot of trauma in this process, but consider yourself lucky that you can avoid this happening to you. It came out of nowhere and slapped me, and if this helps you from having it happen, I'm glad you had it done. Yes there's limitations after surgery, but you can live without that constant fear of death hanging over your head. Please seek the therapy you need to at least get things off your chest, but also to help learn new habits to replace the ones you spent a lifetime building. Just venting to my therapist helps me a lot.

Sorry, rant over. Just wanted to help reframe things if I can.

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It is like a breakup of a relationship. It really hurts at first, you feel loss, scared, isolation and it’s hard to imagine that you will ever be happy again. Then one day there’s a spark, you notice that you’re singing along on the radio and think to yourself, I’m going to be ok. I got this.
There’s a reason you took this journey. You were unhappy, perhaps suffering from depression and health issues related to obesity. This tool will help you lose weight, but it’s not a tool to help you love yourself or lose fear of the unknown.
Definitely take the route of self help right now to help you process these feelings. If you do not have insurance for therapy join Overeaters Anonymous. The resources is free and will provide you with 24/7 support online.
I’m praying that you will have a change of perception about your experience! You’re a brave and capable person that made the decision to change your health and you’re well on your way to a better you. God bless. 🙏🏻

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On 5/2/2022 at 6:27 PM, suzannethemom said:

Feelings of regret is completely normal and part of this journey. They refer to it as the “what have I done” stage. Our hormones are so out of whack for the first three months. You are not alone. I cried every day for the first two weeks after my sleeve surgery on April 12th. Today is the start of week 3 and instead of feeling sad, now I am in the angry stage. I’m sick and tired of my stupid food choices and eating the same boring things every day. I just want to eat like a normal person! I have to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary and part of the process.

Have you thought about therapy? I think it would be really helpful for you to share your feelings of regret with a therapist. I saw a therapist for two years for help with depression and a binge eating disorder. It was the best thing I ever did. Unfortunately, my therapist recently transferred to an office far away and I don’t want to start all over with a new therapist right now, but I know that if I start to feel that dark cloud looming over me and feel hopeless again, I will schedule to see anyone for help.

"I’m sick and tired of my stupid food choices and eating the same boring things every day. I just want to eat like a normal person! I have to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary and part of the process." Oh wow..I just posted this very topic (sirens song post). I am beyond sick of the food choices! I was glad to see I'm not the only one right now going through this..and hopefully is only a stage. Thanks for your post.

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
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      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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