Hi! I am new to this forum, and have been working on all my pre-op stuff in order for surgery in June. I was wondering if anyone decided not to tell anyone about bypass surgery except their significant other (who supports my choice 100%). I just don't know if my family would be as supportive. I feel like they would think that surgery was the "easy way" etc. I am not sure I want that negativity. I am asking if the support of 1 or 2 people is enough to keep you motivated or if I should just tell my family.

Nobody knows except my husband.

I made a decision from the beginning to keep this whole process a secret from almost everyone except my husband (my kids are too little to understand so they didn’t need to know), my mother, 1 brother and my best friend. No one else knows - not even anyone at work. I had my surgery and was able to get back to work after 4 days off. I work from home though so that was easy to do.

People do judge unfortunately and I didn’t need any negativity in my life while going through this major life change.

I'm a very private person generally so I have told my partner and children and nobody else, and I don't think I ever will. Totally my business and my choice. I won't tell a lie if asked outright but I will deflect - 'wow - what makes you think that?' etc. It would take a very determined and persistent questioner to get past me [emoji3] My life, and nobody else's opinions are necessary to validate my decisions thank you very much.

I took the same stance! [emoji171]

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I had a sleeve in 2017 and told my best work friend and parents. When I started losing weight so rapidly, people thought I was dying, like from cancer or something. And I had no idea until said work friend came to me and was like “this is getting out of hand, how have you not heard anything, say Something!” Ha. Now I’m doing a revision to bypass and I am shouting it to the world. I’m so excited! And definitely want no one to think I’m dying!

I only told my husband and best friend. Since I lost some weight I have told my mom and a couple others but for people I don’t feel that close to I just answer questions about weight loss with the diet and exercise response which is mostly true.

I decided to talk with my husband and children about it, my mother and my brother. Some online friends I have met through my business . I lost 30 in the first 2 months of my 6 month program. My mom, brother and husband are on board, but all asked me to reconsider and loose it naturally.
I was a skinny person with crazy high metabolism until 30, received medical attention for anxiety and severe depression and poof, weight gain constantly since. I am 41 now. Always was active and was labeled medically induced morbidly obese. I have been to ‘diet doctors’ nutritionists, doctors, tried getting off the medication and gain plus all the time.
I was literally doing one meal at dinner and ‘testing’ shakes and purée phase foods for the other meals. Because honestly I am terribly anxious for the liquid diet. Which I happened to start yesterday.
I in total lost 50, but gained back 5-10 in a nervous dip and adding back to 3 meals. Trying the yogurt recipes (I gain with yogurt ?) My doctors still want me to stick with the yogurt. I do know that carbs are my gains.
I have my RNY scheduled May 10 and can’t wait.
It’s not a secret, but I am not trying to tell anyone because it’s my body and my decision. Judgements are always made and sometimes (always) my family (aunts uncles cousins) can be completely rude.
All in all, I am doing this for myself and my children, I want to live and annoy them for a long time and love the families they ave. So don’t worry about anyone else. Immediate support group small~ All I need ?

Did I mention the emotional mess I became after I gained all that weight. My mental and physical well being are the priority

On 4/5/2022 at 2:52 PM, It'sAlbright said:

Hi! I am new to this forum, and have been working on all my pre-op stuff in order for surgery in June. I was wondering if anyone decided not to tell anyone about bypass surgery except their significant other (who supports my choice 100%). I just don't know if my family would be as supportive. I feel like they would think that surgery was the "easy way" etc. I am not sure I want that negativity. I am asking if the support of 1 or 2 people is enough to keep you motivated or if I should just tell my family.

The support of 1 or 2 people is enough ... and you have all of us!

This is a really great thread. I just wanted to add that for the people I have confided in, aside from my husband, I don't want to talk about it with anyone. I am not open for updates. I don't want to be asked how much weight I have lost. I do not want any attention on the matter what so ever and will remind them (with an effort to be polite) that this isn't an open topic for conversation unless I broach the topic.

Edited April 27, 20224 yr by LilaNicole20

I have just started my journey for bariatric surgery, but it's approved. I still have to go through the nutritionist, psychiatrist, etc. However I have told everyone and I don't care if they agree with my decision. I'm doing it for me and not anyone else. Very determined!

I previously did a program where I lost 130lbs. I didn't tell anyone that I didn't interact with in person. So though I talked to my mom a lot, she had no clue that I was losing weight. I showed up to drop my daughter off for her annual trip to the grandparents and was missing a person.

After five years and a pregnancy, I've regained all of that. I restarted the previous program, but I just couldn't eat the foods this time. My mom and I are now going through this process together, so she knows this time.