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Bariatric surgery and dating



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I find it hard to to date because i feel most people don't understand I don't always want to explain myself. It's been since August 2nd 2012. I started at 405 lb and fluctuate between 179 and 205. Right now I'm very uncomfortable because I'm at the 205 stage. I'm trying to feel comfortable in my own skin but it's too much of it jiggling around. LOL. And the bowel still smell like hell. LOL how do you allow someone in your life with this particular situation. I won't spend the night places. I will leave social functions and come home and then go back just to use the restroom. I always think that if I was to be with someone seriously I would need a bathroom of my own to use wherever I live . No one else allowed . How are you guys doing with it.

Edited by Vitra
Needed to make Corrections and had a few other things to say

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I'm not sure that's a common issue with RNY - or did you have DS? I've read that's common with the DS.

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Since I've had my RNY, my bathroom excursions smell like lingering death. I have to use 'poop-porri' or whatever it is called, plus a spray. I dread going at work....thankfully I'm pretty regular and don't need to worry about it too often.

I have always assumed it was because of the Protein Powder (I still use 15grams in my oatmeal every morning)..and the smells are somewhat similar sorry TMI.

I hadn't seen a lot of posts regarding this, just a lot of posts about Constipation or diarrhea...so I thought it was somewhat normal but it wasn't a hot topic lol. Now I'm wondering if there is something wrong with us :S

Edited by canadianpopcycle

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1 hour ago, canadianpopcycle said:

Since I've had my RNY, my bathroom excursions smell like lingering death. I have to use 'poop-porri' or whatever it is called, plus a spray. I dread going at work....thankfully I'm pretty regular and don't need to worry about it too often.

I have always assumed it was because of the Protein Powder (I still use 15grams in my oatmeal every morning)..and the smells are somewhat similar sorry TMI.

I hadn't seen a lot of posts regarding this, just a lot of posts about constipation or diarrhea...so I thought it was somewhat normal but it wasn't a hot topic lol. Now I'm wondering if there is something wrong with us :S

Yes this bathroom thing is a problem. We got the other glad I work in the hospital where I'm able to go to the restrooms and other areas away from people. There's Probiotics that we can take to kind of help a little. What helps me is keeping my b m firm. The duodenum is what solidifies and have the enzymes for the bm 2 be natural since we no longer have that that's the problem

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7 hours ago, Vitra said:

Yes yes...the DS

that's what I thought. Some DS people say it's better if they eat really low carb. I've also read about DSers taking Devrom (it's an internal deodorizer, evidently). Also I read years ago of people taking flagyl (or fish zole - which is the same thing) - although that's an antibiotic, so i'd be a little afraid of developing antibiotic resistance. I'd probably start with trying the low carb thing - sounds less risky.

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I'm sorry this is such an issue for you. I hope you can find a good solution (some couples never live together, BTW). I would like to date some day, but I don't like sex, so that's my own personal stumbling block. I alternate between diarrhea and Constipation, so I sort of get embarrassment about bathroom issues, although I don't think the smell has changed much as far as I can tell.

Good luck!

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I think the issue is more with the duodenal switch patients because the duodenum is taken out it's the a portion of the intestines where the enzymes are... along with a portion of the intestines the stomach and the appendix along with the gallbladder.. it doesn't really affect patients that have had the roux-en-y the lap band or the sleeve. Sorry to hear about the Constipation. I've been there maybe three times since 2012.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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