Family Support

[Beth1022 7]

I am having gastric bypass surgery on July 28 and my extended family has been adamant that I should get the sleeve instead of the bypass. Seven of them group texted me last night about it. I felt like i was being attacked. They basically think that every horror story is going to happen to me. They act like I haven’t done an enormous amount of research on the subject (which i have of course) and don’t know the risks. Has anyone else dealt with this?

[Arabesque 6,683]

So sorry they’re not being supportive. I didn’t tell anyone in my family but my mother & one brother & his wife because I knew they wouldn’t judge & would understand & be supportive.

Have you turned it back on them & asked what research they have done & where they got their information? Is it from recognised & legitimate sources? What medical people have they spoken too? Have they looked at all your medical test results & history? How many people who’ve actually had weight loss surgery have they spoken too (they’ll never be able to compete with the number of people on this forum)? Do they understand the reasons why bypass is the better option for you? Do they think you’re not intelligent enough to make a rational, informed & logical decision about your own health? Why can’t they just say they’re concerned but offer support & willingness to be there for you?

Honestly, there are risks. But there are risks with all surgeries & they are pretty low for bariatric surgeries. It can be a struggle to get used to how your digestive system works post surgery but you’ll get used to its idiosyncrasies & discover how it works for you.

I hope they can see your position & can be encouraging & not negative.

[Bulabula 58]

This is why I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want them to influence me on my decision. Sorry you’re going thru this. Maybe tell them thank you for their caring opinion and you’ll take it into consideration.

[catwoman7 10,981]

wow - that is pretty awful. My reaction was the same as Arabesque's - have they seen your medical records and test results? Have they talked to your surgeon? How much research have they done on the various bariatric surgeries?

I think a lot of people who haven't done much research on bariatric surgeries are remembering bypasses from years ago. Those WERE risky. But they do them completely differently now. They aren't much riskier than the sleeve nowadays (and honestly, neither surgery is very risky).

I'm sorry you're going through this. I only told my immediate family and a few close friends before the surgery, so fortunately, I didn't have to deal with this. This sounds mean, but maybe you should just start ignoring them == as in deleting their texts without responding. That's what I would do at this point. You shouldn't have to put up with this.

[K Be Good! 63]

They seem to be concerned in a not helpful way. I would give them some grace and the next time you see them assure them there have been multiple discussion with your surgeon on it. I was very open from the start with everyone. I got lots of questions and actually a lot of interested people. It’s surprising how many people have been thinking about it. One of my co-workers is out for surgery right now.

[Beth1022 7]

Thanks so much everyone!! I truly appreciate your help and support and encouragement!!! ❤️