Struggle

[KeKe82 14]

Hi everyone. I am 16 days post op. I am having a difficult time not craving food. Commercials, my family's meals, are all triggers. Today one of my family members had a cook-out.. I stayed home. I feel alone, sad and regretful having this surgery. I know theres no turning back now.. how do I move forward?

[GreenTealael 24,852]

48 minutes ago, KeKe82 said:

Hi everyone. I am 16 days post op. I am having a difficult time not craving food. Commercials, my family's meals, are all triggers. Today one of my family members had a cook-out.. I stayed home. I feel alone, sad and regretful having this surgery. I know theres no turning back now.. how do I move forward?

I refused to watch commercials after surgery. They were almost all about food (or life insurance). If you can stream programs or TiVo past commercials (is that even still a thing?) that trigger can be eliminated.

The other triggers you will have to work on (maybe even with professional help) but it gets better with time. You may have to bring your own food along to events disguised as a potluck contribution, eat before you to events and even eat at a separate meal time.

Good luck and congratulations on your surgery ❤️

Edited July 4, 2021 by GreenTealael

[kristieshannon 1,540]

Congrats on your surgery! It truly gets better. Hang in there! At two years out I’ve hit goal. From 286 down to 143. I can eat nearly anything at this point, but am satisfied with small amounts. You’ll get there too, and will win back your health along the way. Nothing is sweeter to me these days than going to those parties in a cute outfit showing off my slim body ❤️

[KeKe82 14]

Thank you guys for the support! This early on it just seems like it's sooo long before it gets better. I can't wait until it gets easier & I hit my goal.

[kristieshannon 1,540]

Time goes by quickly, I can hardly believe I’m hitting two years. Stay on plan-you’ll see the benefits rolling in soon, which is super motivational. Some of my really early benefits-before people even noticed I’d lost weight-were getting off BP meds and getting rid of my CPAP. It really does get easier over time.

[GingersnapMI 29]

Hang in there!

I became food-obsessed immediately post-op. The liquid diet was torture... but it was all head hunger and I knew it. I felt sad about the loss of my old lifestyle.

I did ask my doctor if I could begin puree at ten days instead of 14 and he agreed. That helped decrease the sudden obsession with cooking videos tremendously.

I'm nearly 8 weeks post-op now and I feel great. My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner!

[Arabesque 6,450]

First congrats on your surgery. Second, congrats on recognising some of your triggers. Now you know these you can start working out strategies to manage them like how to avoid food commercials. (I record, download or stream most of what I watch so I can fast forward the ads or not get any at all.)

It does get easier especially after you pass through these post surgery phases. Once you’re on purée foods and soft foods, try to cook meals that are soft or can be purred but the family can eat too. Freeze left overs in appropriate portion sizes so you can just reheat your meal (reducing how often you have to make separate meals) & still eat with your family.

There are always ways to still participate in social events. I had a combined 60th birthday for two of my dearest friends 10 days after my surgery. I took some hydralyte to sip but I could have taken a small thermos of Soup or a shake. I only stayed two hours but I was there. I made a zucchini slice I could eat for a pot lunch work reunion two months post surgery.

Good luck.

[kellym1220 472]

11 hours ago, kristieshannon said:

Congrats on your surgery! It truly gets better. Hang in there! At two years out I’ve hit goal. From 286 down to 143. I can eat nearly anything at this point, but am satisfied with small amounts. You’ll get there too, and will win back your health along the way. Nothing is sweeter to me these days than going to those parties in a cute outfit showing off my slim body ❤️

This! Soon (I'm 11 months out) you will be able to eat small amounts of the food at the parties and look cute doing it...making the struggle worth it! The first few months are hard and you do what you can to avoid the triggers! Things will get better, but you have to continue avoiding triggers and learning new strategies along the way!

Good luck!

[K Be Good! 63]

Next time you should go. Bring something that is good for you and carry a Water around in your hand. I’ve learned I’m going to have to get better at conversations since I’m done eating much sooner than others. It’s been hard but very good for me. You can do it!

[KeKe82 14]

I appreciate all the positive advice! Were any of you guys feeling this way in the early days?

[kristieshannon 1,540]

On 07/04/2021 at 12:08, KeKe82 said:

I appreciate all the positive advice! Were any of you guys feeling this way in the early days?

For sure! I remember a few potlucks at work early on-it was a challenge for sure. I always brought something as my contribution that I would be able to have, and always packed my Snacks & drinks for the day so I had “safe” foods on hand. Once you get back to being able to eat normal foods it’s much easier. Just a few weeks to push through and you’ll be there!

[jami.1992 162]

On 07/04/2021 at 11:08, KeKe82 said:

I appreciate all the positive advice! Were any of you guys feeling this way in the early days?

I am 14 months post op but I remember the feeling of regret and depression like it was yesterday! My family ate as if nothing changed (and for them it hadn’t). But I felt alone, sad and like I had made a terrible mistake and like you said…there was no turning back!
It lasted about 10 weeks for me. Once I was out of the purée/soft food phases things did get better!
I also had a talk with my family about what I needed from them and how they could help me by eating the foods they wanted outside of the house or just not around me at all. I felt selfish asking, but they were all happy to do it! They actually felt bad for the thought never crossing their minds!
I didn’t tell anyone about my surgery besides my close family so I didn’t go to the get together, cookouts, gatherings either!
My advise? Go to the cookouts when you’re ready!
I say all of this to say… it does get easier!! You will get past this phase and you will be happy that you made this decision! I’m sorry it’s sucks right now, but your future self with thank you!! ❤️

[Esi 179]

As others wrote, it does get better. I also had thoughts of, Did I make the right decision? However, even with complications, things did improve and the results so far are amazing. It got better with each diet phase as it felt like I was returning to normal more…yet without hunger pangs. It was 6 weeks before I ate around others outside of my household, so there is plenty of time for future events!

I hear you about triggers. I mourned a lot of foods for weeks, and because I was too sick to cook at first, my family ordered takeout. Tough to watch! Now, for a BBQ, instead of a whole hot dog with bun, I took a small bite of hot dog and it fulfilled me. And like others suggested, always bring your own drink, and perhaps even a dish that is safe for you. GL and hang in there! 😀

[SummerTimeGirl 580]

22 hours ago, KeKe82 said:

I appreciate all the positive advice! Were any of you guys feeling this way in the early days?

Heck yeah!! I am 47 days out of surgery (had mine May 19th) and have missed SEVERAL parties. The first being Memorial Day. That one bothered me the most. I chose not to join because it was just too soon (like a week out) but the thought of everyone out there drinking and eating what they wanted had me upset about missing out. My family eating around me and commercials don't really get to me at all but those gathering/parties really makes me feel left out and it sucks.

I have been invited to several more parties since (along with my husband) but they all involve drinking and foods that weren't good for me at the time due to where I was along in the process (be it liquid, puree, etc). Plus I didn't want to 1. be around others who are drinking when I'm the only sober one (I hate that lol) 2. have to explain to everyone why I'm just standing around not drinking or eating (since only a handful of people know of my surgery). My husband has gone without me at my encouragement. After all, he's not on any restrictions. I just had to tell myself this is not forever and only temporary.

I am now on regular foods/diet and so I may just go to the next gathering. I'm sure I can find something to eat. Yes, I can eat before we go but when we go to these things we are often there for 6+ hours (all day and night). So eating only once beforehand is not feasible. The drinking I can resist even though I hate being the only sober one. LOL

But yeah, I think we all go through this in the beginning especially when we are so restricted in what we can do and have. Once you can get onto a more normal diet I'm sure you'll feel differently.