A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.

A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.

Her comment to that is the kicker.

I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.

Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

That is awful!! I'm so sorry she said something so rude and unsupportive!!

1 hour ago, JaysWife said:

A little background before I get to my real rant lol. My mom and I have a strained (almost non-existent) relationship. We only talk a few times a year. She has always been tall and thin (5'9" 130lbs) I however have always been heavy. I have been fighting with my insurance for the last 7 months to be approved for wls.

A few days ago my mom calls me and asks how everything is going with the surgery. I tell her about the struggle with ins. and that I'm hoping for surgery next month.

Her comment to that is the kicker.

I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.

Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy. Thank God for this site. I don't feel like such an outsider in here.

so my jaw hit the floor... what a horrible thing to say. My 2 cents..... don't tell her or anyone else about the SX. You will thank me in the long run. No family, no friends, no co workers..... if you can uber to and from... Do it. People are mean and judgemental.... they will say the most horrible things.... Even the people who love you the most.

If your mom ask, tell her you changed your mind and you are going to diet and exercise. I can tell you right not, this "mother" will continue to make cracks and will not be supportive. If she asked, tell her you don't want to talk to her about it anymore.... you do you.....

Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. I don't speak to her for a reason. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

I am sorry, that is terrible. I am hoping she didn't mean it to come out like that and hopefully she is truly happy that things are moving along for you. She could have just said "I hope everything works out" and left it at that.

I’m getting the sleeve. My mother in law said I’m mutilating my body. My own mother who had bypass said everyone she knows who had the sleeve gained it all back. Ain’t family great.

Skinny does not automatically = pretty. That was an uncalled for comment from your mom, but maybe in her bless-her-heart little way she was trying to be supportive? Sorry she hurt your feelings. (Hug)

ughhhhhhhhh. I am so sorry you have to endure comments like that and I am happy you know better than to buy into it. How old is your mom? I ask because OLDER generations still have the mindset that thin=automatic happiness, great self-esteem, and an overall superiority. Just not true.

Sending MUCH positivity your way for insurance approval~~~

My parents have been overall extremely supportive. However, I haven’t seen them in 15 months since just before COVID. My mom recently saw a pic of me and said “Oh my goodness, you’re so beautiful now!” I know she meant well, and had no intention of being hurtful, but the comment did sting. Often people say things without really thinking about how it will be received.

6 hours ago, JaysWife said:

I hope everything works out so you can finally be skinny and pretty and feel good about yourself.

Like WTF?? My self esteem is already in the toilet, but now I've just been reminded that because I'm fat I can't be pretty.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone about wanting wls. The amount of unsolicited advice and criticism that has been more hurtful than anything is crazy.

Ugg. So sorry for your moms BS comment. Not cool. Not ok. You deserve better. You are human and therefore worthy of feeling beautiful and good about yourself at any size. I've long been sick of hearing comments from people that link beauty, worthiness and self-worth to body size.