So I’m scheduled for surgery on Wednesday and I’m guessing my bf told his mom. So she randomly text me “ FYI MY FRIEND HAD SURGERY GOT A CLOT AND DIED” like who the hell tell someone that whose about to have a procedure done. I’m beyond annoyed I’m already in my own head about the worst things that can happen and she thought that was the best thing to say! Sorry I needed to vent !

Edited March 16, 20215 yr by JustJazzy

I bet that felt like a gut punch. I would be annoyed too. That's not supportive or helpful. Sometimes when people don't know what to say they think about someone they know and their experience but everyone's experience is their own. You will have your own surgeon and nurses. You likely had an entire care team that prepared you for this. The mom's friend's situation is not an indicator of how your surgery will go. I'm sorry she texted that to you, no one wants to be reminded of that possibility right before surgery. Best of luck on Wednesday. This is a stressful time, but you will through this.

26 minutes ago, DoodlesMom said:

I bet that felt like a gut punch. I would be annoyed too. That's not supportive or helpful. Sometimes when people don't know what to say they think about someone they know and their experience but everyone's experience is their own. You will have your own surgeon and nurses. You likely had an entire care team that prepared you for this. The mom's friend's situation is not an indicator of how your surgery will go. I'm sorry she texted that to you, no one wants to be reminded of that possibility right before surgery. Best of luck on Wednesday. This is a stressful time, but you will through this.

Thank you ?

I told one of my coworkers and they said they knew someone who had surgery and lost the weight and gained all of it back. This was before my surgery and they asked if I really wanted to still do it. Even though they were not 100% on board with me at the beginning, they knew I wasn't doing this alone. (My wife and I had surgery the same day). I had to explain to her that it really is only a tool that helps with weight loss but that the mental aspect of eating has to change or you can gain the weight back.

You are going to do great! I like to say that the more that we work towards this, the more we can show that WLS surgery really does help to save our lives. There are quite a few bad influences out there that don't believe it will work and I like to show them that I am not one of those statistics and that it can work.

Edited March 16, 20215 yr by mswillis5

Just this weekend my sister, who has really struggled with her weight and is on a good non-surgical path now, told me "I have a friend that wanted to get surgery and I told her not to because she would change her relationship with food FOREVER!". I bit my tongue and told her (as gently as I could) "That's kind of the idea. We have both changed our relationship with food...and if we want to keep it off, it has to be forever....as we've learned over and over again."

Good luck, I hope everything goes well! I have had zero complications and am SOOOO happy that I had this done!

that's one reason why I was really careful whom I told (and I know you didn't tell this woman -- your BF did). I didn't want to hear about someone's neighbor's second cousin's wife's aunt's best friend who had this surgery and died. Almost no one dies from this surgery (statistically, 99.7% make it through just fine - which are excellent odds), so I didn't need to hear any of that, especially right before going through it. Sorry to hear that this woman thought it was a great idea to tell you this. GRRRR.

On 03/15/2021 at 21:33, JustJazzy said:

So I’m scheduled for surgery on Wednesday and I’m guessing my bf told his mom. So she randomly text me “ FYI MY FRIEND HAD SURGERY GOT A CLOT AND DIED” like who the hell tell someone that whose about to have a procedure done. I’m beyond annoyed I’m already in my own head about the worst things that can happen and she thought that was the best thing to say! Sorry I needed to vent !

Sounds like she has a case of Diarrhea of the Mouth. Remember everyone is different. Just bc one person had a complication from who knows what surgery they had and what type of pre existing problems they had ahead of time, doesn’t mean you will. Try to think positive thoughts and don’t let her get in your head with the negative comments. Meanwhile this is very exciting change coming up for you!! Let us know how it goes and include us in on your weight loss journey. You will find a wonderful support system and a wealth of info on this app!!

I personally know of at least 3 different people who had the surgery, and they ALL gained their weight back, and then some. It didn't stop me from having WLS because I know that I am different, and have my mind set up to think differently.

My own sister is not supportive of my loss. She has said some nasty things to me. We haven't spoke since Christmas.

Just ignore the haters, and move on. People always feel the need to be negative for some reason or another. Don't let it deter your healthy journey.

I agree with the others. Ignore that negativity and worry about you. Sounds like you did your homework and know and accept any risks and issues that MAY arise. I know for me I let the problems two friends of mine had with their own surgeries stop me from getting mine for years!!! Now I'm kinda p*ssed I allowed their issues affect me all this time. I could have been long down this path years ago. Best of luck to you!!

2 minutes ago, SummerTimeGirl said:

I agree with the others. Ignore that negativity and worry about you. Sounds like you did your homework and know and accept any risks and issues that MAY arise. I know for me I let the problems two friends of mine had with their own surgeries stop me from getting mine for years!!! Now I'm kinda p*ssed I allowed their issues affect me all this time. I could have been long down this path years ago. Best of luck to you!!

Thank you! Did you ever decide to do it ? I’ve decided another person story isn’t mine. I will go In tomorrow with a clear mind! Faith Over Fear!

As I am sure others have said... benefits usually far outweigh the risks! Stick to the plan and avoid the naysayers. My husband was terrified of me getting the surgery. He was convinced I was going to die. It wasn't until about 6 months later when I was much skinnier and healthier that he finally admitted that I made the right choice.

43 minutes ago, JustJazzy said:

Thank you! Did you ever decide to do it ? I’ve decided another person story isn’t mine. I will go In tomorrow with a clear mind! Faith Over Fear!

Yes!!! In fact I only have two things left to do on my list. Meet with the pulmonologist and someone in mental health. Then I guess I'll get my date!!

1 hour ago, SummerTimeGirl said:

Yes!!! In fact I only have two things left to do on my list. Meet with the pulmonologist and someone in mental health. Then I guess I'll get my date!!

Nice!!!!