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Better Late Than Never



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My story has been a journey and has a lot of ups and downs. Hopefully I can convey all that I can remember. When I was young I was always large. The youngest that I remember my weight was when I was in 8th grade and was 4'8" and 180lbs. In 10th grade I was 5'6" and 220 lbs and that was might high weight then. I went on medication for ADHD shortly after this time and I dropped down to 175lb and graduated high school smaller than when I went in. Throughout the years following I fluctuated considerably and went between 220 and 175 until I met my wife. Shortly after marriage I had a construction job and dropped to 145lbs. That is the lowest that I have been in my adult life. I have struggled quite a bit with Binge eating and it has affected my relationship with food. In the 14 years since I was 145lb I gained every year and grew to 280lbs. Of course there were times that I dieted and lost weight and times where I was able to maintain my weight but it has been a constant struggle since childhood.

My entire family is obese and I have never seen my mother at a healthy weight. Her health issues are one of the reasons why I choose to have bariatric surgery. In fact, my older brother had bariatric surgery about 14 months ago. With all of the health issues that my family has faced, I had to change my mindset of how I ate.

Over the recent last few years I have fluctuated between 280 down to 240 and then back again. When I was at my highest weight I lost a job and that affected me mentally quite a bit. I went into quite the depression and finally sought help. This psychologist has changed my life in a way I was never able to achieve. She was able to help diagnose the Binge eating disorder and re-diagnosed me with ADHD. This was the start of my change in my relationship with food.

Along with the binge eating, I also never had a sense of fullness or hunger. If I chose I could go without food all day long. Most days though I would eat all day and never calculated how many calories that I ate. At night I would also go back and eat and then shortly after would go and eat more. This was a bad cycle that I have been working on breaking and the diagnosis has helped me with this. 12 months ago I weighed in at 280. After the diagnosis and medication to help, I started to lose weight. I was able to get down and maintain between 250 and 260lbs, just by removing the extra snacking that I was doing during the day.

Last June, my wife and I started to have some health issues and we sought treatment for them. I had a hand injury and started to go to therapy for this and my wife had swollen joints and started to get tests to figure out what was going on. My wife and I have both been large and have sibling who are also obese. By August we were able to get a diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis for my wife. After the therapy sessions, I was not getting better and by September I had surgery to resolve my hand issues. At the time of my surgery my wife and I had determined that we should look into and pursue Bariatric surgery if we could as we were told this may help with her symptoms. We found a surgeon and proceeded with getting approved. Since we had done medically supervised diets already, we were able to take this previous diets and apply them to our application for insurance approval. By October, only one month after meeting the surgeon we had our endoscopy and were finalizing the requirements. We were able to submit to insurance shortly after this and were approved within 1 week.

On November 11th, 2020 my wife and I both had the gastric sleeve surgery. It has been quite the journey so far. During the Pre-op diet we both lost over 16 lbs. After surgery we have both been about on pace with each other with weight loss. In the previous year, I am closing 100lbs of weight loss since I lost ~20 lbs before I had the surgery. My wife and I are at weights that we have not seen in over 10 years now and are working toward keeping it off. My wife still has quite a bit more to go and I am approaching maintenance weight very quickly and could be at my maintenance weight in the next month or so if the weight loss continues at the rate it is going.

The good news is that the health of my wife has improved significantly since surgery and we have both been able to do more physically than we were able to do in a very long time. We are ready for what the future holds for us and are working together to make this lifestyle a success.

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Welcome and thank you for sharing. Great that you and your wife are going through this together, to be able to support each other.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 2 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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