Regrets

[SAS11 54]

I’m writing this because I think I just need someone to listen.

I had my surgery on 11/03, and now, almost 3 months later, I regret it deeply. But I don’t regret it for the same reasons that most people regret it. My surgeon says that I’m doing well. I’m getting the result that I wanted, and I didn’t go into this with any unrealistic expectations. I’ve found plenty of foods that I can eat, and truth be told, I can eat foods that a lot of BariatricPal surgery patients can’t. I was concerned before surgery that I’d have trouble tolerating potatoes, bananas, and eggs. I like all of those and have always eaten them frequently. Fortunately, I still can. I’ve had no problems with any of them, and I really enjoy putting meat, cheese, and vegetables on a very small potato to get Protein, Calcium, and potassium all in one place. I’ve found lots of other foods that I enjoy post-op too, including foods that feel totally normal to me. I don’t feel at all like I’m not enjoying food. I think I’m enjoying it just as much as I ever have, even though it’s in tiny amounts. But I didn’t have serious nutrition problems pre-op anyway, so it makes sense that I don’t have them now.

So, why am I regretting my surgery? The greatest regret comes from being constantly on my period. I had normal menstrual periods pre-op. Never had a problem with regularity despite having polycystic ovarian syndrome and uncomfortably heavy periods. But now, I never stop bleeding. Or, almost never. I’ll have maybe two days between periods, and it will start again. All that my surgeon can tell me about this is that, “Sometimes, it happens.” That doesn’t help me. That doesn’t give me any relief from the exhaustion and constant PMS that comes from having so many periods. I’m also feeling like my body isn’t mine. I feel trapped in an alien skin that’s nothing like my own body. I’m constantly thinking about my body and looking at myself. I’m constantly thinking about the numbers related to food: calories, protein, etc. to a point that I can’t think about much else. I’m enjoying food when I do eat it, but at times when I’m not eating it I’m doing mental calculations related to it.

Honestly, I’d rather have my same body as before than deal with all of this distress. I was happy before. I liked my life. Nothing was wrong. I feel like I’ve brought a lot of misery upon myself by having this surgery.

Thanks for listening.

[ecugsplgrl 34]

I have had menstruation issues since my surgery as well. Have you consulted your OBGYN? They are more specific to regulating female hormones or even endocrinology could help. Hopefully this will regulate itself with time but interventions should be able to help in the interim.

[BigSue 1,434]

Sorry you're having these problems. I'm glad you posted your story here because I think it's important for people to go into this surgery with their eyes wide open, knowing the potential pros and cons. Before my surgery, I looked for people who regretted it because I wanted to be fully aware of the worst-case scenario. I had a lot of trouble finding people who regretted it -- even most people who had horrible complications said they would do it all over again! I think this is partly because the people who are glad they had the surgery are the ones who post about it and make videos about it (and of course the fact that the vast majority of people who have the surgery are happy with it).

I hope that your problems improve. I've read that a lot of WLS patients have menstrual changes because estrogen and other hormones are stored in fat, and fast weight loss results in the release of these hormones into the bloodstream. I'm not a doctor, of course, but I would guess there's a good chance that this problem will go away eventually. I definitely think it's worth talking to your OB/GYN if you haven't already.

As for the preoccupation with your weight and eating, I think that's something that will lessen over time as you get used to your new body and your new life, but if not, maybe you could look into counseling. I'll be interested to see how you feel a year from now. I certainly hope it gets better and you come to be happy with your decision to get the surgery.

[Recidivist 1,141]

10 minutes ago, BigSue said:

As for the preoccupation with your weight and eating, I think that's something that will lessen over time as you get used to your new body and your new life,

While I can't comment on menstruation, this is definitely true. Counting and measuring everything becomes an obsession during the weight loss phase, and you can let go of it to a large extent in maintenance. By then, you more or less know what you should be eating and what works for you.

[ckingbradleypt 2]

SAS11, I have had 3 very heavy cramps periods in 6 weeks. I have no energy, was taken off BP meds and told this is normal. Monday I will be getting with my gynecologist to find out WTH is going on with my body. So sorry you are having the same problem, but so glad you posted.

[catwoman7 11,285]

A lot of women experience screwed-up hormones for the first few months after surgery (e.g., irregular periods - due to lots of estrogen being released from fat cells during rapid weight loss, as BigSue said), but yours sounds more extreme than most. You could always check with a gynecologist to be sure that's what it is - if nothing else, for peace of mind. If that IS what's going on, it's temporary. I think the preoccupation with weight and eating is pretty normal among WLS patients, esp the first year. To be honest, I'm still like that to some extent, even at almost six years out.

[toodlerue 463]

I’m sorry you are having period problems. They do suck. Like everyone has said, go see a Gyno they know more about women’s body parts then a Baritric surgeon does. It could be something that isn’t related to your surgery at all.
You are probably have low Iron too from all of your bleeding.
please let us know what your Gyno finds out.

[LaoDaBeirut 158]

I've struggled with extremely painful and long, heavy periods for years and doctors never seem to pay attention to it. I have a medical condition where my testosterone is far higher than an average woman (not PCOS but sort of similar). I have tried EVERYTHING in order to treat this and been to so many doctors. I learned taking evening primrose oil everyday helps as it's supposed to help regulate hormones. Also, up your magnesium. I have no idea if it exists in the USA but in the Middle East there is this powdered drink called Biolectra Sport infused with magnesium and it helps me tremendously and I drink it every night. I also take Buscopan for when the pain gets really bad.

I know your issue isn't pain as much as length of periods but maybe this can help.