How do you know you are ready

[Sara_Lee 8]

Hi everyone,

I am having a lot of anxiety regarding my decision to do this surgery. I had my surgery set in July and I chickened out, then September, now finally in October. Here is the thing, I am in my final year of my PhD studies and it is very stressful. I am not eating healthy and just the thought of all the work needed to do this surgery is stressing me out.

I had a spinal fusion surgery in February and I have been dealing with chronic back pain. I suffer from depression because of it. I feel like doing the surgery now is too overwhelming. But I feel a lot guilt for not prioritizing my health. What if I put of the VSG surgery and my back gets worse in a years time?

My worse fear is that if I get the surgery, I will blow this opportunity because of bad timing. Should I wait until my studies is over in a few weeks? Or should I just do the surgery?

Ideally I want to finish my studies and then get the surgery when I can commit to a healthy lifestyle, right now I can barely get out of bed in the morning. This has been going on for a year.

I would really appreciate any advice or people with similar situations. Please let me know what you think.

Edited September 15, 2020 by Sara_Lee

[Sara_Lee 8]

Sorry I should add that following the spinal surgery I went from 215 to now 240 in just a few months.

[mcfluffington 179]

Wow It sounds like you have got a lot going on.

No one would blame you if you pushed the surgery back.

Talk to the person who sets your surgeon's schedule.

I am sure she will work with you and good luck with your studies.

[Lily66 425]

3 hours ago, Sara_Lee said:

Ahhhh. Hugs and more hugs to you! Reading your thoughts above, you have a very full plate right now and “Ideally, want to finish your studies and then get the surgery”. Repeatedly you express this wish. You deserve to complete your studies uninterrupted, so then you can devote more focus to your next life milestone, WLS.

IMHO, I wholeheartedly agree on that strategy. I finished my master’s at age 40 while working full time and recall the dedication, focus and discipline required to keep it all rolling at a very high level. I also had L5, S1 microdiscectomy and laminectomy 18 months ago. To add in WLS and the preparation pre and post op would have stressed me to no end, and yours is a step more intense than mine, PhD and fusion.

You’ve put so much into your journey already, and we’re talking a short time frame in the big scheme of things to finish your studies. I would focus on keeping your spirits up right now in knowing and believing it WILL all be accomplished within a very near term time frame. I do recall the horror of the weight gain with spinal surgery, but again, I would strive to eat as healthy as possible but don’t stress over it. Focus on the things you CAN control, finishing your studies without losing your ever lovin’ mind is right there at the top of the list.

Throw off those chains of guilt that you’re not prioritizing your health! You ARE prioritizing it in being self loving and practical to not further overload.

Breathe.... You got this girll!

Edited September 15, 2020 by Lily66

[It's time. 145]

Just my opinion, but we all find reasons not to take care of ourselves. Will there ever be a perfect time?

[catwoman7 11,285]

the first year, especially, takes a lot of mental effort. I'm not sure I would have been as successful if I hadn't been in the right frame of mind. Maybe you will be - I'm not you. But if you don't feel you're ready, there's nothing wrong with postponing it. I'm sure not all of us are 100% mentally ready - having an upcoming surgery can be anxiety-producing and there's a lot of work and commitment required after this particular one - but it does sound like you have a lot of other things going on. I don't think anyone would blame you for postponing if that's what you feel you have to do.

[tarotcardreader 196]

9 hours ago, Sara_Lee said:

Hi everyone,

I am having a lot of anxiety regarding my decision to do this surgery. I had my surgery set in July and I chickened out, then September, now finally in October. Here is the thing, I am in my final year of my PhD studies and it is very stressful. I am not eating healthy and just the thought of all the work needed to do this surgery is stressing me out.

I had a spinal fusion surgery in February and I have been dealing with chronic back pain. I suffer from depression because of it. I feel like doing the surgery now is too overwhelming. But I feel a lot guilt for not prioritizing my health. What if I put of the VSG surgery and my back gets worse in a years time?

My worse fear is that if I get the surgery, I will blow this opportunity because of bad timing. Should I wait until my studies is over in a few weeks? Or should I just do the surgery?

Ideally I want to finish my studies and then get the surgery when I can commit to a healthy lifestyle, right now I can barely get out of bed in the morning. This has been going on for a year.

I would really appreciate any advice or people with similar situations. Please let me know what you think.

I graduated grad school before even trying. I think its possible to do having done both, but you will probably feel like hell. If you have complications will be even worse. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who has no complications pain or il feelings though and then it would b no sweat. If it were me id set the date one week after program finished.

[GreenTealael 25,622]

11 hours ago, Sara_Lee said:

Hi everyone,

I am having a lot of anxiety regarding my decision to do this surgery. I had my surgery set in July and I chickened out, then September, now finally in October. Here is the thing, I am in my final year of my PhD studies and it is very stressful. I am not eating healthy and just the thought of all the work needed to do this surgery is stressing me out.

I had a spinal fusion surgery in February and I have been dealing with chronic back pain. I suffer from depression because of it. I feel like doing the surgery now is too overwhelming. But I feel a lot guilt for not prioritizing my health. What if I put of the VSG surgery and my back gets worse in a years time?

My worse fear is that if I get the surgery, I will blow this opportunity because of bad timing. Should I wait until my studies is over in a few weeks? Or should I just do the surgery?

Ideally I want to finish my studies and then get the surgery when I can commit to a healthy lifestyle, right now I can barely get out of bed in the morning. This has been going on for a year.

I would really appreciate any advice or people with similar situations. Please let me know what you think.

Depends on how far along you are... Are you completely done with everything and ready to defend? If not, IMHO schedule it for after (It is just a few weeks)

[Sara_Lee 8]

On 9/15/2020 at 7:50 AM, Lily66 said:

Ahhhh. Hugs and more hugs to you! Reading your thoughts above, you have a very full plate right now and “Ideally, want to finish your studies and then get the surgery”. Repeatedly you express this wish. You deserve to complete your studies uninterrupted, so then you can devote more focus to your next life milestone, WLS.

IMHO, I wholeheartedly agree on that strategy. I finished my master’s at age 40 while working full time and recall the dedication, focus and discipline required to keep it all rolling at a very high level. I also had L5, S1 microdiscectomy and laminectomy 18 months ago. To add in WLS and the preparation pre and post op would have stressed me to no end, and yours is a step more intense than mine, PhD and fusion.

You’ve put so much into your journey already, and we’re talking a short time frame in the big scheme of things to finish your studies. I would focus on keeping your spirits up right now in knowing and believing it WILL all be accomplished within a very near term time frame. I do recall the horror of the weight gain with spinal surgery, but again, I would strive to eat as healthy as possible but don’t stress over it. Focus on the things you CAN control, finishing your studies without losing your ever lovin’ mind is right there at the top of the list.

Throw off those chains of guilt that you’re not prioritizing your health! You ARE prioritizing it in being self loving and practical to not further overload.

Breathe.... You got this girll!

Aww thanks so much! You are too kind. i will take your advice, I think I am just nervous. This post and this forum overall has given me the confidence to tackle this. I got this! HUGS and good luck to you on your journey!

[Sara_Lee 8]

Thank you all for your replies. i am booked on October! I wish you all good luck on this journey!

[Sharon blumberg3 0]

I understand the fear we all get scared and nervous. This is a huge life change and commitment. It’s so important that you realize your worth having a long healthy life. Your missing out on a lot and no one wants to live in constant pain. I know you can do both if you really work at it. Just think after the surgery you will have more energy more confidence and way less pain in your back. I hope you have the surgery. It will change your life for the better.

[Glowup Jess 45]

I understand your fears . My original date was in feb 2020 but that’s my birthday month so I postponed it to May 2020

then Covid happened so all surgeries were cancelled and they moved it to July

I panicked and they closed my case. I call them back and she scheduled me for October 2020

a lot is going on in my life. I work full time , am in school, family drama, my bf relocated across the country. It feels like a swarm

but my friend told me .. there is never a perfect time. She said I deserve to focus on my health

I told my job and school and am taking 2 weeks off .

I don’t know what will happen with the other aspects of my life but this is one thing that can benefit me and add to my life. No more running away

you got this

I know a few people in grad school and med school who got it done while in school. They just took a leave for a week or two

[Sara_Lee 8]

21 hours ago, Glowup Jess said:

I understand your fears . My original date was in feb 2020 but that’s my birthday month so I postponed it to May 2020

then Covid happened so all surgeries were cancelled and they moved it to July

I panicked and they closed my case. I call them back and she scheduled me for October 2020

a lot is going on in my life. I work full time , am in school, family drama, my bf relocated across the country. It feels like a swarm

but my friend told me .. there is never a perfect time. She said I deserve to focus on my health

I told my job and school and am taking 2 weeks off .

I don’t know what will happen with the other aspects of my life but this is one thing that can benefit me and add to my life. No more running away

you got this

I know a few people in grad school and med school who got it done while in school. They just took a leave for a week or two

Yes I couldn't agree more, and if you focus and get it done now, it will be out of your way. You will be on track to a new you. My surgery is booked Oct. 26 and I start my pre-op in a week.

Also good news is I successfully defended my PhD and it is out of the way for now (revisions I will do after). I feel its time.

You will get through this. Do you have a date set?

[Glowup Jess 45]

5 hours ago, Sara_Lee said:

Yes I couldn't agree more, and if you focus and get it done now, it will be out of your way. You will be on track to a new you. My surgery is booked Oct. 26 and I start my pre-op in a week.

Also good news is I successfully defended my PhD and it is out of the way for now (revisions I will do after). I feel its time.

You will get through this. Do you have a date set?

Thank you. October 13

[Sara_Lee 8]

14 hours ago, Glowup Jess said:

Thank you. October 13

You are almost there, mine is Oct 26th, I haven't even started the preop yet. We have similar stats although you are 2 inches taller than me. Lets keep each other posted. Hope it all goes well for you.