Surgery is Wednesday and it's really starting to hit home. My anxiety is thru the roof. I'm not making excuses to jump ship, but I am starting to second guess myself. My husband said he'd be supportive no matter what but doesn't really have an opinion on whether I go thru with it or not - he honestly doesn't care one way or the other. I haven't told my mom about it because she would have a meltdown (she doesn't think I need this surgery and is very much against it). I'm worried about the recovery (pain, discomfort, hair loss, depression, etc.). All my pre-op bloodwork came back textbook perfect, so I'm extremely healthy aside from about 80 extra pounds. At my pre-op clearance visit on Friday, my PCP was like "You're perfectly healthy, so this surgery comes down to vanity and you wanting to be more active. Are you sure you want to go through with it?" So for the last couple of days, I've been stewing about it. This is something I've been wanting for a while, but now that it's literally down to 72 hours till "showtime", I'm doubting myself. Is this normal? If I go thru with it, I'll be 100% committed, but I guess I'm wondering... Do I really even NEED to go thru with it in the first place?

Wow... I can't believe your PCP said that. Less than a week before surgery is not the time to bring that up.

You are the only one who can make that decision. I am terrible at making decisions so I know the feeling of wishing someone else would just make the decision for me. It was a much easier decision for me because I had a much higher BMI as well as comorbidities, but I still questioned my decision right up until surgery day, since I had already lost a lot of weight before surgery and wondered if I should try again to lose the rest on my own. To be perfectly honest, I often wonder why people with a BMI as low as 35 want to go through the ordeal of surgery, but it's a very personal decision.

I don't know what caused you to go down this path in the first place, but for most of us, it is a pretty long journey to get insurance approvals and meet the pre-surgery requirements. I'm sure you have put a lot of thought into this already. What I have read about decisions is that you should not make big decisions when you're in a heightened emotional state. I'd say that having anxiety through the roof qualifies. So look back on the reasons you made the decision in the first place when you were calm and had time to consider the pros and cons rationally.

I don't know how old you are, but I have been obese my whole adult life, and I first looked into WLS more than 15 years ago. At the time, I was in my 20s and didn't have any health problems, and I decided against the surgery back then because I was afraid of the risk of giving up my good health just to lose some weight. But it has caught up with me now and that's why I decided to have surgery at this point. Sometimes I wish I had done it earlier because I feel like I have missed out on so much in life because of my weight, but I also have a feeling that I wasn't ready to change my lifestyle back then and I might not have been successful (of course, I'm only a month out, so I can't say that I'll be successful now, but I do think I am much more ready to make the necessary changes now than I was 15 years ago). So remember that if you're not ready now, you can change your mind and get it later.

I know that probably wasn't helpful because I gave some arguments on both sides, but all you can do is make the best decision you can with the information you have and make the most of it. Good luck!

Your PCP sounds like a jerk!! Vanity???? Really??? UGH!!!! I'm gearing up for plastic surgery in 5 months (which is totally about my vanity and I don't care! LOL!!) and if my PCP said that to me about plastic surgery, I would be pissed, but to say it about WLS is idiotic!!

First thing after surgery, get a new PCP! One that supports you and supports your health goals!!

BigSue brings up some good points. How old are you? How likely is it you can lose 80 lbs without surgery and keep it off? How likely is it that without surgery, you will continue to gain and accumulate comorbidities like diabetes and hypertension? I had my sleeve because I knew I could not get the weight off on my own. I wanted to be more active but hauling around 100 extra pounds made it difficult. Only you can decide these questions, but I will say that you have gotten this far with your decision, and having last minute doubts isn't uncommon.

Issues related to recovery that you are worrying about are temporary, if they even occur at all. I didn't have any of those.

I am also scheduled for my sleeve surgery Wednesday and I couldn't be more relaxed and calm. Im actually just so ready to get it over with. This two week preop diet hasn't been super horrible but I could really go for a freaking sandwich right now. Lol. I also only have about 80 lbs to loose but I have been heavy since elementary school and I know that I can not do it on my own.

My PCP is extremely supportive in my decision to get the sleeve. Once this whole corona thing started I was debating getting the surgery and she encouraged me to go through with it. She believes I will be successful with it and I kinda believe her

As previously people have said, its all up to you. Only you know yourself, your habits, and your body. If you feel this is what you need then I wouldn't worry about anyone else, this is all about you.

Debbie.

So to be perfectly frank, being an extra 80lbs heavier than you should is NOT perfectly healthy, so shame on your PCP. Anytime a doctor asks me how my health is, I tell them I’m fat, just to break the ice lol. It’s just a matter of time when your body starts getting tired of carrying around the extra weight... which is what’s happening to me the older I get. Being healthy isn’t for vanity... it’s literally to be healthy. But you need to do this for yourself and if you feel like it’s not the right thing at this time, then you shouldn’t do it. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I can only speak for myself, but I pretty much spent my entire adult life (I'm 60) losing and gaining the same 50-ish lbs. Over and over again. And my weight kept creeping up a couple or more lbs every year in spite of it. I finally admitted to myself that I couldn't do it on my own - at that point, I weighed well over 300 lbs and was afraid I'd never live to see my 65th birthday. Yet I still second guessed myself in the days before surgery. I lost 57 lbs pre-surgery, so I figured maybe I could do it this time. Maybe I COULD lose all the weight on my own. But then again, I'd been in that spot (down 50-ish lbs) many times before, and it always came back.

anyway, only you can answer that question for yourself.

btw -- the recovery for most of us is pretty easy. There are definitely some who have a rough time of it, but for most of us, it's pretty painless. I was wondering at first if I'd even had surgery! And the hair loss part - ask anyone a couple or more years out, and I can guarantee most of them will say they wondered why they wasted even one brain cell worrying about it (yet almost all of us did when we were pre-ops or early post-ops!). Yes, some people lose a lot of hair (but it grows back!), but for most of us, we're the only ones who notice. It's very uncommon for it to come out in big clumps -- it's more like shedding. I barely noticed mine, so I'm sure no one else did. A friend lost a third of hers and she's pretty sure only she and her hair dresser noticed. So it may not be as bad as you're thinking.....for many of us, it's not.

It's understandable to second guess yourself. I tried for years to lose the weight on my own, but it'd take me a YEAR to lose 20 pounds and a month to gain it back with interest when I gave up out of frustration. Eventually I had to face facts. I wouldn't be around to watch my nieces grow up if I didn't do something about my weight. I was 389 pounds when I finally decided to look into bariatric surgery. I'd been coming up with excused for YEARS as to why it wasn't for me. Truth was I didn't believe I'd have the willpower to stick with it. But, surprisingly, it's been relatively smooth.

There was this one girl in my bariatric surgeons office that comes to mind when you talk about backing out. She went through the whole process THREE times! She got right up to her surgery date and backed out and had to start all over again. I was talking to her in the surgeons office before my pre-surgery appointment and asked her why she'd go through all that and then not have the surgery. She said she was scared and then asked me why I didn't seem to be. I told her I'd gone through a much scarier surgery so this was like a walk in the park by comparison. I honestly don't know if she went through with it that time or if she's going though the process for a FOURTH time. Clearly she wanted to lose the weight, but the unknown of the surgery was terrifying to her. The unknown can be a really scary, I get that. But think of how much better you'll feel losing that extra 80 pounds. Who cares what your PCP thinks (vanity? pfft, a 37 BMI is still obese and your PCP is a friggin' MORON!) or if your mother doesn't approve, this is YOUR life and YOUR body! The surgery will help you become a healthier YOU!

In the end though, the choice is still very much your own. Whether you go the conventional dieting route or the WLS route is still your decision and no one else's. Maybe write out a list of pro's and con's. Or read success stories to pump yourself up. Either choice you make, I wish you the best.

everyone above nailed it

TRUST US THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO! Just focus on the new you and the new lifestyle!

Hi, I'm about the same height and weight as you and also have my Gastric Bypass surgery scheduled for Wednesday. I'm also getting very anxious about it and have been going over and over the reasons why I have taken this decision.

I don't know how old you are but I'll be 60 soon and have been losing and regaining the same 60/70 lbs most of my life and I just don't see how I can change that cycle without extra help. I am very active and play sport most days and I don't have any other co-morbidities. One of the main reasons I am having my surgery is to enable me to continue playing sport without doing any further damage to my body. Carrying this extra weight isn't pleasant nor is it good for me and it becomes more and more difficult as I get older. I suspect that I've already damaged my hips and knees playing tennis like this and I want to preserve what I've got left. I researched WLS years ago and 10 years ago I had a gastric band which I didn't get on with at all. I immediately had a de-fill and never had it filled again. It was removed last year. I wish I'd gone for the bypass or sleeve instead of the band to be honest because I feel I've missed out on so much because of this weight not to mention the strain it's put on my body.

I don't know if this helps and only you can decide if it's the right thing for you at the moment. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide.

Hopefully you have worked through those doubts by now.

Each day we wake up is a day closer to possible weight related health issue, better to tackle the weight now before it does become a health issue.

Good morning everyone!

Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who responded. I truly appreciate the kind words and encouragement. To answer a few questions... I just turned 48. I have not had a weight issue all of my life. I was a very slender, athletic size 4 until I got pregnant at age 30. Long story short, due to a previously undiagnosed (pretty severe) chronic illness which came out of dormancy during my pregnancy, I gained 100lbs while pregnant that I was never really able to lose. I lost weight here & there, but part of the illness involves severe, chronic pain and fatigue, so any kind of "beneficial" exercise or activity has been almost impossible as I simply can't do it. The goal with surgery is to get the weight off so that hopefully, I'll be able to become more active again. I used to be a big jogger, played on softball teams, golfed, biked, hiked...you name it. Now, for the last (almost) 20 years, I've hardly been able to get off the couch due to chronic pain. I've had to stop taking Motrin & Advil in preparation for the surgery and the pain this past week has been almost unbearable. Due to the whole "opioid issue", my doctor refuses to prescribe pain meds. I'm not even sure how I'm going to get in all the walking that's required post-op. I'll do what I can. Also, with regards to my PCP being a jerk...LOL... I don't think he meant to sound that way. I think his intention was to say that on paper, I'm completely healthy (aside from my autoimmune issue) and this surgery is more about looking better and being more active, rather than trying to rid myself of diabetes or another problem. He's actually a great guy and I know he had no ill-will.

Thanks again for all the support. I'm gonna go thru with it and will keep you all posted! XO

All best wishes. Check in when you're done.?

Go for it!! It will be rough a few days but it will be worth it