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Don't it irks you when...



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Don't it irks you when a former big person become a shamer? I have a coworker and she did not have a WLS but she had liposuction and a Tummy Tuck. And she always makes comments about bigger people (she's still sorta big just more shapely now). I went with her to get something to eat and she made a comment about every big person in line. Things like: "she know she needs a salad, I know that plate gotta weigh a ton" And when I called her out, she stated she was just teasing. I've worked with her for a while and I never heard her talk about people like that until she had her surgery. Now, she hasn't said anything about me to my face because she knows I will cuss her out. It just irks me. I decided not to go to lunch with her anymore because her energy is toxic. She finds joy in stepping on people which is kinda weird to me.

Edited by futurefinemama

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What I find sad is that despite her taking great lengths to feel better about herself, her insecurity is still overshadowing her.

I commend you for identifying a toxic energy and removing yourself from it. Life is too short.

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1 minute ago, Keatsy said:

What I find sad is that despite her taking great lengths to feel better about herself, her insecurity is still overshadowing her.

I commend you for identifying a toxic energy and removing yourself from it. Life is too short.

soooo true!!!

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5 minutes ago, Keatsy said:

What I find sad is that despite her taking great lengths to feel better about herself, her insecurity is still overshadowing her.

I totally agree. It is sad because she looks great. But she is super insecure if she feels the need to put people down in order to feel better about herself.

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I worked with this girl... Cindy (yes her real name). She was always saying stuff about fat people... I at the time was 5'2" and 232lbs... She was very thin and would never wear the same outfit twice. She always dressed and looked very nice. Very much a "keep up with the jones". I never said anything to her. I moved departments... I couldn't stand to even look at her. Anyway, fast forward to 2009 i had the lapband done. My WL was slow and she even made the remark... didn't you have "fat surgery"... i never answered her..... TILL ONE DAY.... I had left the company so i had not seen her in about a year... I had lost 60lbs. She came up to me and said... Hey, how much have you lost.....???? I should say that in that year she had put on a lot of weight..... And i know it wasn't right.... but.... after she asked me that i just looked at her and said... 60lbs, but it looks like you found them... and walked away.

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28 minutes ago, futurefinemama said:

Don't it irks you when a former big person become a shamer? I have a coworker and she did not have a WLS but she had liposuction and a Tummy Tuck. And she always makes comments about bigger people (she's still sorta big just more shapely now). I went with her to get something to eat and she made a comment about every big person in line. Things like: "she know she needs a salad, I know that plate gotta weigh a ton" And when I called her out, she stated she was just teasing. I've worked with her for a while and I never heard her talk about people like that until she had her surgery. Now, she hasn't said anything about me to my face because she knows I will cuss her out. It just irks me. I decided not to go to lunch with her anymore because her energy is toxic. She finds joy in stepping on people which is kinda weird to me.

Sounds like you are super insightful about this! Excellent call on backing off from someone like that. We all need good energy right now as we try to become the healthiest we can be. Good vibes coming your way!

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I think that there are people who do this to deal with their own insecurities. That's what this sounds like to me. Putting down others somehow makes them feel better about themselves, especially if they can get someone else to join in the shaming with them. It's gross, but I'd be willing to bet if she got the help she needed to be confident herself she might not look to this as her way of coping.

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8 minutes ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

I worked with this girl... Cindy (yes her real name). She was always saying stuff about fat people... I at the time was 5'2" and 232lbs... She was very thin and would never wear the same outfit twice. She always dressed and looked very nice. Very much a "keep up with the jones". I never said anything to her. I moved departments... I couldn't stand to even look at her. Anyway, fast forward to 2009 i had the lapband done. My WL was slow and she even made the remark... didn't you have "fat surgery"... i never answered her..... TILL ONE DAY.... I had left the company so i had not seen her in about a year... I had lost 60lbs. She came up to me and said... Hey, how much have you lost.....???? I should say that in that year she had put on a lot of weight..... And i know it wasn't right.... but.... after she asked me that i just looked at her and said... 60lbs, but it looks like you found them... and walked away.

I get it. Sometimes that petty comes out. Good one! Especially, when it towards someone who makes someone feel bad about themselves. My mom always stated, you never look down on someone because you can always find yourself in their position.

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Just now, futurefinemama said:

I get it. Sometimes that petty comes out. Good one! Especially, when it towards someone who makes someone feel bad about themselves. My mom always stated, you never look down on someone because you can always find yourself in their position.

I knew it wasn't the right thing to say.... but, she was just the nastiest person... always talking about people. It was a case of Karma that bit her.... Now she is very large... and not that i would wish that on anyone.

i never understood how someone could be that hateful, but she was and still is.

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I really like the expression, "Blowing out someone else's candle won't make yours shine any brighter."

I find it's applicable to many situations in life. Usually the insecure who put others down to feel better about themselves, especially women to other women. I try to surround myself with people who lift each other up.

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