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Feeling very out of control



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Hello. I am due to get my surgery date assigned in a few days and I’m feeling really out of control with my eating. I’m not eating extremely large amounts but eating everything I think I won’t be able to have again. The things I am eating are Bagels, large onion rings and chocolate covered Cookies. I tell myself this is the last night and I will do better tomorrow’ but it starts again. The thing is I wasn’t eating like this before I decided to have surgery. Please tell me this panic eating will stop. Help!

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It's normal to be panicing at a time like that. You dont know if you will be able to eat those things again and it sends ur mind into a spin. I was there too...

BUT I can tell you, that you will very likely still be able to eat those things again in the future once you've gotten past the surgery and weight loss. I still love to eat chocolate and such but have learned when I need to be careful and what I absolutely cant eat (which isnt much tbh). Even after a year after surgery, Im still learning things, but I dont feel like Im missing anything at all.

So deep breaths and dont think of it as jumping off a cliff. Cuz ur not!

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Thank so much for answering. It was keeping me wide awake with worry. I will try to control my breathing and relax.

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Ur going to be fine....it's just the few weeks before and after surgery that are the worst. The rest is a fun journey! and it is SOOOOO worth it. (Im 130 pounds down and loving it.)

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6 minutes ago, Krestel said:

Ur going to be fine....it's just the few weeks before and after surgery that are the worst. The rest is a fun journey! and it is SOOOOO worth it. (Im 130 pounds down and loving it.)

Thank you. I made a screenshot to keep your words handy for the next few weeks. 👍

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feeling anxious before a surgery is pretty common. And like the above poster said, you'll likely be able to eat these foods again at some point. But do try to get a handle on it - you want to make sure you - and your liver - are in good shape for surgery.

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I have been doing intermittent fasting and restricting my calories for several months to lose weight before surgery. I have lost about 60 pounds. When my surgery was scheduled, I had a feeling of panic when I thought about all the foods I will not be able to eat anymore, so the week or so before my liquid diet, I planned out all the things I wanted to eat one last time. But I didn't want to undo all the weight I have lost, so I made my "food funerals" fit into my calorie limits. Sometimes that meant fasting for the rest of the day to save all of my calories for dinner, and splitting a piece of cheesecake between two days. Maybe you can try that -- go ahead and have that bagel or those Cookies, but put a limit on it.

And please, have a doughnut for me... I'm on my pre-op liquid diet now and I never got a chance to have that one last doughnut. :(

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I did the same thing; ate everything I loved before surgery. I mean EVERYTHING! Crazy eating disorder behavior! After surgery, it was amazing how my appetite changed. I never would have believed I would feel full after a cup of broth. LOL! You will, I promise. It is an amazing tool. The first 30-35 pounds flew off, no issues! Now, I'm having to work at it, but the restriction is still there and I keep losing 1-2 pounds most weeks. I don't have the cravings for the copious amounts of carbohydrates. I know a lady who had VSG 6 months before me. She's only lost 25 pounds in 11 months. From what I've gathered, she's eating the same things she ate before surgery on a more frequent basis. She is so sad and I feel terrible for her, but I really think she had to TRY HARD to eat enough to have such minimal results. I think she still has some restriction because she tells me about throwing up. I've never, not once, thrown up. I have felt nauseated after taking vitatmins, but never vomited.

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Thankfully I have done well today. I within guidelines today and I have a few more days until I get locked into a date. I’m going to do this!

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You will do this! I’m not a psychologist... that being said I really believe the effectiveness of our journeys are mostly set post op. This surgery is a tool - a powerful one - to give us the time AND restrictions to allow any of us the ability to learn new habits. These are the facts: you will have a few weeks of little to no food, low calorie intake, weight loss. You will have a long period of very significant restriction compared to your preop capacity. You will see enough weight loss to know these changes work. The length of time these things last IS enough time to learn and incorporate new habits into a lifetime solution. The line between pre and post op is so significant that the old ways (to me at least) are completely irrelevant. Some will not make it, but I honestly believe our errors or lapses before 0-Day do not predominantly define our success or failure post op.
I had some food funerals the first couple days after getting my date set but I ended up starting my pre op diet early, then I had one more food funeral and I didn’t enjoy it at all, got back on the program. I’m four weeks post op today, down 37 lbs. I don’t regret my food funerals, but I also do not think “oh I wish I had this or that one more time.” Healthy small portions taste amazing. My tastes have changed, my outlook on the future has changed, I don’t crave garbage, I’m so excited when I get full on such tiny amounts of food. I know I’m capable of popping a donut hole every hour and sabotaging all of this, but for the first time in my life of yo yo dieting I truly truly feel like I’m in complete control and capable and willing to make better choices. I used to self sabotage without conscious thought... like I was some robot with a self destruct sequence always running in the background. That’s gone. I’m rambling (I tend to do that, sorry) but you can do this. This is such an amazing gift you’re giving yourself.

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Last Meal Syndrome hit me hard a couple weeks ago. I was eating all my favorite foods like it was my last time ever having them. I finally got myself under control by reminding myself what I was losing weight for and looked at my wall of quotes to get me back in my rhythm.

"Don't give up what you want the most for what you want in the moment." and "Remember your dreams are as hungry as your demons. Make sure your feeding the right ones." Are my favorite quotes. It also helps to have boss baby on my door.

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Edited by Lazy Hermit

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Thanks for the responses. You’re all great! Lots of things I can think about and make work for me.

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On 7/10/2020 at 2:41 PM, perfektlynrml said:

Hello. I am due to get my surgery date assigned in a few days and I’m feeling really out of control with my eating. I’m not eating extremely large amounts but eating everything I think I won’t be able to have again. The things I am eating are Bagels, large onion rings and chocolate covered Cookies. I tell myself this is the last night and I will do better tomorrow’ but it starts again. The thing is I wasn’t eating like this before I decided to have surgery. Please tell me this panic eating will stop. Help!

I know how you feel but I'm telling you it is possible to change...

I literally woke up one day and decided that's it I'm done with the junk and gave it away to my friends and committed myself to eating right from that day on...

I actually lost 60lbs before surgery and I've since lost another 99lbs and way below goal with the bypass :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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