My first post...be kind

[Formybabies37 1]

Hi all. This is my first post, so please be kind...

I am 37 years old and had my sleeve surgery over 3 years ago. It was the best. I lost 150 pounds pre-surgery, and then lost about another 100 after surgery. I was so proud and happy and healthy. I had needed to lose weight for many reasons, but my main driving factor was the fact that I wanted children. So a year after my surgery, it happened. I had to have fertility treatment done, lots of shots, pills, and lots of stress. This, along with the medicine, caused me to gain some weight back. Maybe 30 pounds. I wasnt happy, but i felt it was necessary to become a mom. Then pregnancy happened and I was hit with brutal morning sickness. The kind that lasted all day and only was curbed by carbs. At least that is what I convinced myself. So I thought, okay eat what you need to, but after the baby comes, lose the weight. So I gained about 80 pounds. Yep...80 pounds. After I gave birth I was so disgusted with myself, and that coupled with my hormones and other issues, I spiraled out of control. I had debilitating PPD and ate myself sick. Then, with no treatment, I got pregnant again. This time I was determined not to gain more weight. But I failed. I had convinced myself that Iw as pregnant and I needed to eat for my unborn baby's sake.

So now here I am, 2 kids later, and gained back 215 pounds. I am disgusted by myself and am miserable. I know how to lose the weight, i did it before, i just cant do it this time. It isnt working. I am never full. I am a ravenous animal. I eat because im depressed, then that makes me depressed, so i eat more. WTF

Anyway, i feel like maybe if I met with my surgeon again and was forced to face him, and talk about revision, maybe that would give me a goal, give me hope, give me motivation.

Tell me about revision. Is it possible? does it help? I know that revision will not make a world of difference if I do not get my eating under control. I know that the surgery is not a cure. I need to make a lifestyle change, and I know that and I am ready. This must stop.

But give me some positives of revision. Revise the sleeve? Convert to bi-pass?

Thanks all

[JRT Mom 920]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear of your woes! I agree that meeting with your surgeon would be a great start. Sounds like you are ready!

Whatever you decide, good luck and keep us posted.

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

Good Luck and keep us posted.. You did it once you can do it again.. Baby Steps!

[epicdreams2020 12]

@ForMyBabies I want to address your questions because I recently had a sleeve revision (12.2.2019).

First, I will say yes it is possible and I had a sleeve to sleeve revision with a smaller sleeve. I too had success after the first surgery in 2013 and then regained the weight, plus some for good measure.

You talked about eating because you are depressed, feeling disgusted with yourself for eating, and then doing the same thing again because it is almost like why bother anyway. It is a very vicious cycle. I think the first time around I believed the surgery was sort of magic because the smaller stomach means eating less. That seemed simple enough, but the sad truth is the stomach is a muscle and can/will stretch to its original size or greater. However, I never dealt with the things that made me eat in the first place, including depression.

I went back to the same surgeon, had many long conversations about the revision, and spent about two years working through some of the mental stuff because the bottom line is - as you said, the surgery is only a tool. Eight weeks post-op I still grieve for what I call my inner fat girl even though I still weigh plenty. I want to eat - EVERYTHING! I am not hungry, but I miss it - pretending I didn't care what people thought, or how much weight I gained. I just wanted to eat and had many reasons for overeating. For me, moving forward means dealing with the issues that makes me eat or want to eat in the first place. Every day I see something and wish I could eat it. Fortunately, right now my inability to eat stops me, but that will change. I need to be ready to deal with when I can and finding different ways to deal with the poorly adaptive behaviors that I used when I couldn't deal.

In the long term, I have been advised that revision surgeries have even less success unless I am willing to work on it. I know statistically I am less likely to succeed, but I made a choice not to get on that table until I was ready to deal with the lifelong changes I will need to make to be successful. So far, I am beating the odds with 68 lbs down, but it is a daily struggle not to give in to my inner fat girl who wants the things that I used to think made me feel good. The reality is they never made me feel good and actually contributed to that vicious cycle of eating, feeling worse, eating that got me to nearly 400 lbs.

If you decide a revision is for you, I can promise you it won't be easy. You will be confronted by your prior success and also by the gradual things that allowed you to regain the weight again. For now, it is one day at a time. My nutritionist gave me a powerful thought - food is only fuel. You need to eat enough fuel to get you to the next time you need fuel in the tank. I have 6 small meals per day 2-3 oz to get me to the next meal. My silent prayer is for lifelong sustained success in the future. The scale is a motivator but less pain and the ability to move more freely propels me forward.

Only you can decide if a revision is for you, but you have to consider all the facts for you and decide from there. It took me over a year to decide to move forward and I had absolutely no pre-surgery weight loss requirements. One day I finally decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I hope this helps.

epicdreams

[GreenTealael 25,618]

4 hours ago, Formybabies37 said:

Hi all. This is my first post, so please be kind...

I am 37 years old and had my sleeve surgery over 3 years ago. It was the best. I lost 150 pounds pre-surgery, and then lost about another 100 after surgery. I was so proud and happy and healthy. I had needed to lose weight for many reasons, but my main driving factor was the fact that I wanted children. So a year after my surgery, it happened. I had to have fertility treatment done, lots of shots, pills, and lots of stress. This, along with the medicine, caused me to gain some weight back. Maybe 30 pounds. I wasnt happy, but i felt it was necessary to become a mom. Then pregnancy happened and I was hit with brutal morning sickness. The kind that lasted all day and only was curbed by carbs. At least that is what I convinced myself. So I thought, okay eat what you need to, but after the baby comes, lose the weight. So I gained about 80 pounds. Yep...80 pounds. After I gave birth I was so disgusted with myself, and that coupled with my hormones and other issues, I spiraled out of control. I had debilitating PPD and ate myself sick. Then, with no treatment, I got pregnant again. This time I was determined not to gain more weight. But I failed. I had convinced myself that Iw as pregnant and I needed to eat for my unborn baby's sake.

So now here I am, 2 kids later, and gained back 215 pounds. I am disgusted by myself and am miserable. I know how to lose the weight, i did it before, i just cant do it this time. It isnt working. I am never full. I am a ravenous animal. I eat because im depressed, then that makes me depressed, so i eat more. WTF

Anyway, i feel like maybe if I met with my surgeon again and was forced to face him, and talk about revision, maybe that would give me a goal, give me hope, give me motivation.

Tell me about revision. Is it possible? does it help? I know that revision will not make a world of difference if I do not get my eating under control. I know that the surgery is not a cure. I need to make a lifestyle change, and I know that and I am ready. This must stop.

But give me some positives of revision. Revise the sleeve? Convert to bi-pass?

Thanks all

Hi! ❤Being kind and gentle ❤

Congratulations on your success after WLS that lead to fertility.

Sorry about the PPD, the joys of motherhood can be tricky sometimes

But

Revision may not be the focus right now. Keep that in your back pocket for emergencies only. Only your surgeon can tell if its necessary so see your Surgeon because they can definitely help but also consider support groups/therapy etc. Perhaps getting to the root of the gain will kickstart your ability to heal and continue on your journey. Plenty of people have losts gained and lost the weight again without additional surgery, so its always possible! Don't lose hope❤

Cheering you on (again)🎉