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I told people it was "preventative" surgery. (It prevented me getting diabetes etc) nobody ever asked what it was preventing and accepted it at face value.

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I work in HR and just sent an email to about 70 people saying i would be out on a medical leave of absence. That's it.

People will notice and find out but it is up to you what g want to put out there as far as details.

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I feel like the less said the better. That way I don't have to remember what I told to whom. I'll be going through my own head games in going back to work, I won't need any help from the people surrounding me. So my "telling" so far is I need to have a corrective surgery and I'll be out for 6-8 weeks. Totally the truth; I'm having surgery to correct my body's unnatural relationship with food. They've seen the start of my weight loss the last six months as I've given up sugar and caffeine and soda so hopefully they won't question too much. I'll have 6-8 weeks to work on my mental state before having to face them again, so I'm hopeful that all will be good.

I'm most worried about the FMLA paperwork that has to be filled out; but I'm going to try to my company's HR instead of my department's.

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Not for bariatric. surgery, but I had a surgery about 8 years ago and was out for a month. When people asked, that I didnt want to tell, I gave outrageous stories like I had to be separated from my conjoined twin, or my goldfish had surgery so I had to take care of her. People got the picture real fast

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What I have said is I'm having surgery and it's nothing serious. They seem to get the idea but I do not want to discuss it.

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I would use the female surgery. Then no one asks further questions and if they do u can say u don’t want to talk about ur kitty. It’s a private and sensitive issue.

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I’d go with hernia. If you still have your gallbladder you never know if you legit need that out. But hernias can reoccur and in different locations.

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For those I keep at a distance, I just said I was taking Medical LOA and left it at that. I usually had to add that I was fine but would have difficulty lifting/walking, so it was best to stay home because I would be tempted to resume normal duties too early. If it was somebody I had no relationship with, I would say I was taking a staycation to use up PTO.

Now when people ask, I tell them I cut out fast food, added sugars and got my stomach stapled. It throws them off for a second but then they (we) chuckle. The results have been too dramatic for diet and exercise alone to be believable.

The only reason I’m not always honest about it now is because there are days when I am tired of talking about it/myself —my weight, the surgery, the changes etc etc. As an introvert it is draining.

There are definitely people who will have something negative to say, but it is either ignorance or insecurity and you can tell pretty quickly which category they fall into. The ignorant can be educated, but It isn’t your responsibility to fight/internalize their emotional dysphoria. Just smile and walk away... it sounds like Charlie Browns teacher to me.



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I told work it was my gallbladder. Easy peasy!

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You could always say exploratory laparoscopy, where they go in and look to see if there’s something going on. Sometimes people have scar tissue from prior surgeries or sometimes nothing is found. But this way if you need to have say your gallbladder removed later on then you didn’t already use that.

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I had surgery yesterday and I'm a private vsg patient. Only a handful of people know and I didn't inform the entire handful that knows about surgery yesterday. I truly feel that it's very intrusive and disrespectful to ask another person about health related issues. Assume what you must about me, I could careless. What can't happen is someone feeling entitled enough to ask another person's personal information. That's just too darn nosey for me. I'm off of work and taking care of myself, the end. I already had to tell my close family that I was having a female related procedure. I just can't with the entitlement with work people and others.

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Don’t lie!

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Well, I live in Japan where health insurance is done through your company so if you have something done, people are bound to know about it. For that reason, I’ve self-paid both my surgeries out of the country, and did it during my vacations (like now). When people asked about my weight loss I focused on the diet side of things (mostly Keto, even if it’s not) and most people accepted it. Like others have mentioned, just be vague about the surgery and focus on your diet/exercise habits if they ask about your weight loss afterwards.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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