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Not telling anyone



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8 hours ago, AZhiker said:

I was worried about questions from relatives who haven't seen me in several months. We had a family BBQ today and only one person told me it looked like I was losing weight. No one else said a thing! It was a relief in a way, but quite odd, I thought.

I've asked my family not to talk about my weight. I lost 80 lbs. about 5 years ago on Phentermine and all the praise I got was annoying because it was kind of suggesting I looked awful before and like weight loss was my greatest achievement, not my family, degrees, job, etc. And then when I gained it back, it was even more awkward.

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I am an open book with EVERYTHING in my life ( Sicilian, hairdresser, Pisces) so it’s no surprise I tell whoever wants to know.. if you’ve known me for a while you know my struggles, I could lose ok but , maintaining never lasted long and I’d gain back 2 fold.. I feel great and the fact that there are people out there waiting for me to fail only motivates me to prove em all damn wrong.. I have changed on the inside even more than the outside ... watch my dust naysayers, I GOT This ... no going back because I don’t know that lady anymore, the one that chose food over life.. she’s in my past .. as a matter of fact a ceremony is in order, one in which I burn some of my former fat selfs old clothes( the basic uniform of comfy black anything) I never knew this person I have become.. she’s the BOMB and I’m keeping her healthy so she can get out and LIVE

Edited by Carrot64

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I didn't announce it on Facebook. Simply because I don't feel the need to announce everything going on in my life on social media. But anyone that asks what I did to lose the weight gets an honest, unashamed answer. The stigma behind weight loss surgery isn't going to go away anytime soon if we continue to hide it.

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Sharlanay, I did not have anyone stay with me. Matter of fact, I was walking up and down the driveway the day after I went home! Good luck!

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When I had my lap band I told no one. I taught middle school 8th grade and they can be a bit snarky. So I'm going along each morning sipping my Protein Drink and slowly dropping pounds. I think it was about Feb. when the girl in the back of the room asked in the middle of class, "are you dying or are you getting skinny for a reason". I decided to share with them so they wouldn't worry. I also had for months the loudest growling stomach. I wasn't hungry it was just constantly loudly complaining. It was a real distraction during our state testing, we tried not to laugh. I found just telling them you're ok and trying to be a better version of you is all people really want to know.

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I told a couple of my coworkers who are in the medical field with me but I haven’t told my family. I’m waiting for my approval before I tell them. I know my son and my sister will not be happy with my decision.

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That may be simple worry that it may imperil your health or, if they are like my paternal side of the family, they are control freaks and WANT to run everything and Their Way is the Only Way!

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On ‎5‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 3:09 PM, othella2 said:

How you do that??

Sent from my Moto E (4) using BariatricPal mobile app

If people asked how I was losing weight, I told the truth--eating less, mostly Protein, and exercising more. My medical issues are private. Nobody but my neurologist and my ex-husband knows I have MS, either.

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My mother & my sister were the only ones I was going to tell. I ended up telling a few church friends, mainly because one had the VGS done 10 years ago & the DIL of another had it done 2 years ago. I’m not really keeping a secret, but I’m not blasting it out all over either.

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I tell people. Surgery is becoming a more common thing now. For me, I feel like I'm educating people. Everyone has weight loss surgery for different reasons. Everyone gains weight for different reasons. I have never been an emotional eater. It's never been a comfort thing for me. I gained weight due to medications. High doses of prednisone ( 3 months causes 80lbs). Then add ambien, and I tend to sleep eat. Which is rough, because I have severe insomnia. I've tried all the other insomnia meds on the market ( and my ins didn't cover some so I was paying over a $100 a month for 2 of them) and they didn't work. I take ambien (which I get for 97 cents) and seroquel ( ambien puts me out, seroquel keeps me asleep)- if I don't take them, I'm up for 35-40 hours straight. I've tried to get better by keeping some "healthier" Snacks hidden by my bed. But sometimes I'll get up and make a butter tortilla. And forget to turn the burner off 🤦‍♀️.but I've gotten better with that! And no late night drives to Walmart! I'm maintaining at the weight I've wanted. So I'm happy about that.

I've been sleeved and then bypass due to reflux getting increasing worse after, and cause aspiration at night. So I get questions on both. So I talk about both procedures, that not everyone you see get surgery is having because they "eat or lazy". People are quick to judge just by looking, had they talked to the person I'm sure they would see a much bigger picture. But really it's not their business unless that person wants to talk about it. Genetics also plays a factor in it as well. So it's not all about food as 90% of people want to jump on.

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A lot of people won't ask as they are afraid that you are ill and they want to respect your privacy. If they ask I tell so they won't think I'm sick if they are friends of mine, the others I tell them I'm watching what I'm eating. My sister who had this surgery 9 years ago and has gained back some of her weight is very unsupportive. She also admitted she ate what she wanted and told me that you are supposed to eat a special way, but she wanted to eat what she wanted. I am hoping that I can be an example for my good friend who has experienced weight gain due to knees and knee surgery. She has problems with walking. I've been down this road before with the lap band and found most folks to be supportive if they are your friends. My husband and son are and that is all I really care about.

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Blessings Sandra and keep Strong, you have a lot more Beautiful Days Ahead!

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I only told my husband and children for the entire planning and preop phase. I finally told my RN sister because I was afraid she'd find out eventually years down the line and she would be hurt. I figured couldn't hurt to have an RN to call with questions. But yeah, no one will know. Like other people mentioned, this is going to hard enough without judgement and jealousy from others. I never said anything to anyone even when I was dieting before. It's always "diet and exercise" should anyone be bold enough to ask.

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