I'm 4 weeks post RNY operation. I've noticed that now that I'm unable to eat food I get angry about food. I get mad that I can't eat, mad at my friends and family because they can eat what they want and I even get angry at the fact that I drive past so many restaurants etc... Is anyone else struggling with this at all? Does anyone have any ideas on how I can change that thought process and not let it bother me so bad?

Maybe ask your surgeons office to recommend a therapist?

I did after my surgery too. I was sad, angry, I even thought, "why did I do this?" too. I realized after I started eating real food again, my body adjusted and my taste buds changed. And continue to change even now(6m post op) I can't most stomach fast foods, it taste funny even tho it smells great. Restaurants I use to love, I find the foods aren't as good either. ... I'm finding my home cooked foods and meal preps are everything now and I really enjoy them.

I hope that you will find the balance that is right for you too. Until then, maybe pack your drinks, soft foods you do enjoy everywhere you go.

I did after my surgery too. I was sad, angry, I even thought, "why did I do this?" too. I realized after I started eating real food again, my body adjusted and my taste buds changed. And continue to change even now(6m post op) I can't most stomach fast foods, it taste funny even tho it smells great. Restaurants I use to love, I find the foods aren't as good either. ... I'm finding my home cooked foods and meal preps are everything now and I really enjoy them.

I hope that you will find the balance that is right for you too. Until then, maybe pack your drinks, soft foods you do enjoy everywhere you go.

Thanks for the encouragement! I just feel like I'm being ridiculous but at the same time I know I'll calm down lol

My best guess would be to focus on what you CAN have instead of lamenting what you CAN'T have. Stay positive. Remember how healthy you're going to be by skipping the drive-thru.

Google is your friend look for alternative protein sources like spinach tuna salmon teach your body to accept better food.

I agree with other posters about talking to someone about your feelings on this, even starting this thread is helpful. I'm sure there is others out there experiencing the same things.

Since you have to eat and it has to be on your plan you could try to influence others around you to try your foods as a segway into social situations so you don't feel ostracized because of the food differences.

I literally would make everyone take a bite of something I was eating just to try. No one focused heavily on what I wasn't eating that way and a lot of my people began to swap things for slightly better choices.

With creativity and tenacity you will get through the early confusing stages.

Good Luck?

13 hours ago, LuvDeeDee said:

I'm 4 weeks post RNY operation. I've noticed that now that I'm unable to eat food I get angry about food. I get mad that I can't eat, mad at my friends and family because they can eat what they want and I even get angry at the fact that I drive past so many restaurants etc... Is anyone else struggling with this at all? Does anyone have any ideas on how I can change that thought process and not let it bother me so bad?

Welcome to the WLS mental battles. It’s ok to be angry. Many of us start with some buyer’s remorse. First food stages made me a bit hungry and angry. things got better with real food stage.

Focus on the scale moving with your healthy choices. Keep your eyes on your short- and long-term goals. Recognize when food addiction is talking to you. Noting taste as good as weight loss:-)

(make sure food suggestions are on your plan) (make sure they fit your calories and macros for the day)

I like how it was said above. It’s what you can eat. bariatrics should not be torture. Food should be long term sustainable.

Real food stage nutrition should be flavorful. There are healthy options for the foods I enjoy. I eat hamburgers without the bun (lettuce wrapped) I even enjoy the taste of a turkey burger patty over beef. Healthy pizza, Chicken fajitas without the tortilla, Check out bariatric friendly recipes.

You will be able to go to restaurants. Make it about the conversations and quality food not crap foods. Your safe orders are protein and veggies. (replace carbs with more veggies) Kids or lite menus are also great.. You are now a cheap dinner date. Take home leftovers in a box for no cook meals later. Log them. Most restaurant menus are in MyFitnessPal food log.

So I think as everyone here agrees:

1. This is a very common experience many bariatrics share.

2. You should really seek a referral to a bariatric therapist to help facilitate your movement through this process. Or maybe join a local group session with your surgeon's practice. I'm a member of 2 -- 1 I attend monthly and is awesome. We talk about our feelings, our challenges and triumphs and life in general and it's awesome! Plus this place is just super duper!

But what you are experiencing is grief. There are 5 stages of which anger is one of them. It's important to share your feelings, talk, get the anger out and work thru each stage so that you can progress to the last stage which is acceptance.

I knew about this going into surgery and so had done a lot of the head work in the year leading up to surgery. Because I was ready for it, lol, wouldn't you know? I didn't have any grief over food. I'm lucky.

I did have bouts of being hangry/angry/terse and did have bouts of sadness that came and went like a flash. That's due to the hormonal shifts happening as we liberate fat for fuel. It can totally jack with us. But it wasn't related to lack of food.

I had been eating healthy for so long leading up to surgery that I actually had a taste preference for healthy "clean" low fat foods like lean proteins, leafy grees/low glycemic veg, and low healthy fats. I know now, that's because I actually re-built my gut microbiome because of my great diet and that biome caused my preferences to shift. Now, that didn't and doesn't mean I don't have cravings, head hunger, and desire for bad stuff. It didn't mean I was 100% perfect. But I strove to be, cuz I knew, that way too soon--that bad decision making would express itself and I would cave and eat something "bad"--and feel miserable (hurting, sick, nausea) afterward as a result.

So it's not that you will never eat your old foods. You should work on reframing your brain. Use this honeymoon period that is WAY too short, to shift your thinking. Think instead: Look at what GREAT choices I'm making, and let me see how healthy and dense I can eat, while keeping my calories and food quantities the lowest and let me see how quickly I can get this 10lbs off of me! See how MUCH nutrition you can get per calorie. Focus on "nutrient dense" low calorie, real food!!! And resign that it's OK, to be hungry! Cuz hunger only lasts 20 minutes then will go away if you don't feed it. It won't grow. It won't kill you at this point. You have a feast table on your tummy, thighs, and bottom.

I kept a spread sheet. And each decade of weight, I knew approximately how many days it would take me to lose that decade! And I made a game of it. I was so thrilled with the movement on the scale and the smaller sizes of clothes, that it kept me busy and engaged in the process in a very positive way. I was laser focused on losing the current decade of weight. Then it was onto the next decade. It's all about the spin you put on things. You know?

Edited April 28, 20197 yr by FluffyChix

Thank all of you so much for your support and I definitely don't feel alone in this anymore. I'm going to work harder and get my self together!

You are a work in progress. It's all normal. You don't have to "be a better bariatric." You are already good enough now. ((hugs))

By the way, I want to show you what you can look forward to down the road. Cuz this time you are in is temporary.

This was lunch. I made a recipe of cauliflower cloud bread sliders and made a leftover grilled salmon bahn mi sandwich with crisp and ice cold veggies as the side! I couldn't finish it, but ate about 3/4 of it and had a few carrots and cucs leftover. But it was so good. I'm full, satisfied and have a happy belly! No food angst. Deeply nutritious.

By the way, I want to show you what you can look forward to down the road. Cuz this time you are in is temporary.
This was lunch. I made a recipe of cauliflower cloud bread sliders and made a leftover grilled salmon bahn mi sandwich with crisp and ice cold veggies as the side! I couldn't finish it, but ate about 3/4 of it and had a few carrots and cucs leftover. But it was so good. I'm full, satisfied and have a happy belly! No food angst. Deeply nutritious.

That looks soooo tasty!

@FluffyChix—would you share the recipe for the bread?

Yes and no and yes and no ... I wouldn’t call it anger or feeling that I’m necessarily missing out on foods. For me it’s hard to explain how I feel or put it into words. It was hard knowing my mother would eat nearly the same amount of food as me and yet I started gaining weight to the point I was twice her weight. It was hard knowing that I was eating around 800 calories of healthy food and eating little to no sugar and low carb and gaining weight. It’s hard knowing that because of metabolic disorders I will never be able to just eat normally. At the same time I don’t care that I will eat smaller portions (I am fine with that) or healthier options. I battled those sugar addiction demons years ago (even though that never really goes away does it) what I think bothers me most is the fear that even doing the right things I won’t know what might trigger gain or a extended stall. And that I still won’t be able to eat “normal calories” then there is always keeping myself from falling to old weird habits along the way. But yeah, it’s hard seeing other people casually eat and never truly have to worry about their weight. When I can’t remember a time when I didn’t worry over my weight. All the way back to being in junior high school (my brain is not very good at when, just what happened) I kind of remember weighing myself at an aunts house and the scale being 133lbs and I was called fat and bullied.

I also sometimes catch myself looking at the grocery stores and like I can’t eat most of what’s in this store. But on the other hand I shop for my mom and I prepare her lunches most days. And I don’t really mind that. I just try to not really overthink it and consider there’s a lot bigger things to worry about in life.

I don't think I feel angry, but I do understand the desire to want to eat something "normal." I live alone so I am able to focus, but the couple of times I have been around others eating, it was tough for me. now that I am transitioning into solid foods, I try to focus on what I can eat and cook since that was a big part of my life pre-op. I'm sure you will find that many of the foods you once craved will not be as satisfying once you are finally able to eat them. I was so excited to eat cheese when I moved to soft foods, but it ended up being pretty uneventful.