This is why....

[danieocean 260]

11 hours ago, sideeye said:

My why: I was completely exhausted from shouldering the casual, clinical, disapproving gaze of others for decades. Losing the weight's been great for my knees, my endurance and my shopping budget, but it's mostly been transformational mentally.

People who have never been fat genuinely don't understand that people observe you in public. It's like when someone wanders by in a particularly ostentatious outfit while you're sitting at an outdoor cafe and your gaze tracks them - sometimes you're thinking "that looks amazing", sometimes you're thinking "puce and mauve make that coat look like 70s upholstery". The gaze can be positive or negative but it's assessing. The difference is that people who wear loud clothing 1. usually do it because they want attention and 2. CAN TAKE IT OFF.

The incredible relief it's been to shed that constant monitoring is hard to express. I don't get quietly observed and judged wherever I go these days, and when I do feel people looking at me, I know it's because I'm put-together and look damn good, so it's not an oppressive feeling. And if I wanted to avoid it I could, by dressing slightly differently. The only option to be unmonitored when I was fat was to avoid other people.

I know some people had thicker skins than I did about this stuff. But man, I am glad that psychic weight is GONE.

Beautifully put, my dear. That is a horrible feeling. The worst is when people just say it out right. Painful stuff we had to overcome! Great post ❤️

[BrighterSide 242]

I am looking into the VSG, I totally understand the sedentary life, working from home sounds great (and in a lot of ways it is) but I swear i can go days with only getting in 200 steps.
I can't wait to finally weigh even the same as my husband lol! I was super tiny up until I had my first kid, always around 135... now I am 284... looking forward to finding that body again.
I hope you get to hold that baby in your arms soon!! That would be the best reward for such hard work!!

Empathising hard :-) I too work from home and while it was a mental health lifeline, it was the nail in my weight control coffin. Worked out I had gained 4lbs per year since OH and I got together to escalate the problem then WFH cemented it. He’s lost his through portion and calorie control, I had VSG. 5’4” 263 at highest, 258 SW on 21st Jan, 216 CW.

Will watch out to see how you go :-)


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[Sheribear68 3,201]

Many things that all culminated in spring 2018
1. Was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer 10 years ago at the ago of 40
2. Never lost the weight in the intervening 10 years and in February 2018 had another abnormal mammogram (thankfully not cancer again, but it scared the bejesus out of me)
3. My dear father in law passed away in December 2017 from complications of extreme morbid obesity— he was over 500 pounds when he passed. His goal was to make it to his 80th bday and he fell 5 days short.
4. January of 2018 I went on a family girls trip to Orlando to finally see Potterverse.
At the time I was 250 pounds and could only get on a handful of rides.
All I could think about during the trip was that we had waited for soooooo long to finally do this thing that I wanted to do so badly and my weight ruined my trip for me.
5. A trip to Belize in April 2018. I wanted so much to do an entire day snorkeling tour.
I went, but had to spend half the time on the boat watching everyone else have a blast because I physically couldn’t keep up with all of the swimming.

In June 2018 I decided ENOUGH and scheduled my first consult.
Had surgery this February (10 weeks ago to this day) and I haven’t regretted it for one moment.

I’m still very far from goal, but I’ve lost 53 pounds from my highest weight in July 2018 and loving the decision.
Fingers crossed we take a December trip to Belize and I WILL be able to do that whole day snorkeling adventure!

[MrsGamgee 756]

My why boils down to 3 things. My husband. My daughter. My son.

When my almost-7yo was a year old I was diagnosed with type two diabetes. I had dealt with gestational diabetes twice, and facing the rest of my life with those frustrations and challenges, I committed to losing weight once and for all. And I did lose weight. For a year I did well. I was down almost 80lbs from my highest.

Then life got messy and I turned to food again for comfort. I again became a lump on the couch, and to help our meager budget, I went off my meds... for a year. Bad idea.

The weight I lost was found. I started getting the tingly toes and fingers that go along with diabetic neuropathy. I was having hypertensive headaches daily. I regularly started having anxiety attacks about my health. I was terrified of dying while my children were still small, of leaving my husband with two kids to care for on his own (my hubs is a great father... but he cannot cook a healthy meal or do a braid to save his life). I was terrified and frozen in place at the same time.

What finally sent me back to my doctor was a yeast infection that I couldn't deal with without a prescription.

Around that same time two of my SIL were preparing for WLS. I asked a few questions and did my research. And after another 3 or 4 months of working on my courage, I finally asked my doctor to refer me to our bariatric clinic.



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[med28thmed 118]

My husband's starting weight before my Gastric Bypass was 226 and he's 6'0. He is 13 years older than I am and he already suffered a heart attack 2 1/2 years back, he weighed 240 then. Before my surgery, I weighed 228 and i'm somewhat short 5'0.... ok, super short :-) I can influence my hubby every day. I think about food a lot and he gets swayed to what I feel like eating that day. Whether it's pizza or sushi, Fajitas or a burger. I'm also the main cook in our house so I also cook what I feel like eating. Part of my decision to get the Gastric Bypass is to save my husband from having another heart attack, I love him 😞 and it hurts so much that my food addiction is what's going to kill him one day.

Tomorrow marks my 2 months surgery anniversary. My husband now weighs 214 (total loss of 12 pounds!) He eats what I cook, and I now cook healthy foods. We also walk a lot now after work with our dog. I still have my moments. This past weekend, I wanted Pizza. I suggested that we order Domino's. We had 2 medium Pizzas delivered at our house. Both of us just ate 2 slices, then we foiled the rest of the pizza and put them in the freezer. My doctor doesn't want me to feel that I am dieting because he says deprivation doesn't work. It's how you incorporate the high calorie foods you ate that day and still end up at less than 1000 calorie that counts. Oh yeah, and I still lost 2 pounds this week. Sweeeet! Having cake and eating it too :-)

[med28thmed 118]

28 minutes ago, MrsGamgee said:

My why boils down to 3 things. My husband. My daughter. My son.

When my almost-7yo was a year old I was diagnosed with type two diabetes. I had dealt with gestational diabetes twice, and facing the rest of my life with those frustrations and challenges, I committed to losing weight once and for all. And I did lose weight. For a year I did well. I was down almost 80lbs from my highest.

Then life got messy and I turned to food again for comfort. I again became a lump on the couch, and to help our meager budget, I went off my meds... for a year. Bad idea.

The weight I lost was found. I started getting the tingly toes and fingers that go along with diabetic neuropathy. I was having hypertensive headaches daily. I regularly started having anxiety attacks about my health. I was terrified of dying while my children were still small, of leaving my husband with two kids to care for on his own (my hubs is a great father... but he cannot cook a healthy meal or do a braid to save his life). I was terrified and frozen in place at the same time.

What finally sent me back to my doctor was a yeast infection that I couldn't deal with without a prescription.

Around that same time two of my SIL were preparing for WLS. I asked a few questions and did my research. And after another 3 or 4 months of working on my courage, I finally asked my doctor to refer me to our bariatric clinic.



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Wow, what an inspiring story! Please try not to go off on your meds again. Yes, think of your beautiful family that needs you. When is the surgery date? Keep us posted.

[MrsGamgee 756]

Wow, what an inspiring story! Please try not to go off on your meds again. Yes, think of your beautiful family that needs you. When is the surgery date? Keep us posted.

[emoji4] I'm scheduled for May 16th. The meds are on board now for as long as the docs say I need them... thankfully they've already removed one of my 3 diabetes meds and have cut both my blood pressure meds in half. My goal with surgery from the beginning has been to put the diabetes into remission.

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[NYJenn 1,464]

I found myself avoiding things ...people, situations, activities. I didn’t go on rollercoasters, didn’t go swimming, ate alone in my car. It was a miserable existence and I hated myself for what I had done to my body. My doc suggested it and I have never looked back

[KimTrim 47]

Oh wow!!!so many stories!! I am so inspired by all of you!! Thanks for sharing, and feel free to share more 😁

[BrighterSide 242]

I turned down opportunities that could have set my kids and I up for life because it involved standing up in front of people to talk (flop sweat, panic about optic of fat woman sweating, either way it resulted in the same frizzy haired, red shiny mess) and public transport where economy was the only option and I couldn’t handle the looks and laughs and comments.

I also always ducked out on swimming with the kids and many other things I either relied on my OH for or avoided as a family.

Then there was dressing. Having, with horrible shame, to ask my fella to put shoes on for me. Smells from under boobs and belly despite good hygiene. Acute awareness of side rolls when sitting and belly resting on thighs. No energy left to front it until folk began to see me not the weight.

Terror about my health having had two parents die in 60s from cancer, but ironically neither was obese. Palpitations. Early menopause ignore because of weight. Crippling knee pain when climbing stadium stairs when taking 12 yr old to a concert. Thought I would have to be stretchered out. Hip and knee pain more generally. Ruined skin. Forgetfulness for words and names put down to possible early onset dementia resulting from vascular restriction linked to weight etc etc etc.

It was overdue. Best decision ever.


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