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I'm single mom how do you tell your children you have surgery to help you lose weight



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I'm single mom how do you tell your children you have surgery to help you lose weight?

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I told my grandchildren and showed them pictures. I told them I was doing the operation to be able to do stuff with them that I can't do right now.

My granddaughter was afraid to have me come for pumpkin pie at harvest time. She's 6 years old and was afraid someone would tease her about me. It broke my heart. On a separate occasion she inaccuosly called me fat. I broke down in tears. I'm doing this for myself but also for them. It's unfortunate people can be so mean.

So I'm not sure how old your kids are, but I think they will understand. My gkids are 6 & 8 and were inquisitive and I answered their questions. I'm 16 days post-op and my granddaughter asks to see my incisions every day still. She knows when grandma's scabs come off, we can go swimming!

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I've been really honest with my kids (8yo, 6yo) about this from the beginning. They know that I take a lot of medications for my various co-morbidities, so we talk about it in terms of me getting healthier so that I don't have to take so many pills. We also talk about things like maybe next year at the fair I'll be able to go on the rides with them, that I'll have more energy to play with them. I don't often refer to the idea of losing weight, but rather getting healthier.

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I didn’t, told them I was having my gallbladder out (which I did) I felt my kids didn’t need to be stressed about having an elective surgery.

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You could say something like you gave an owie that your doctor is going to help fix. At that age they still think doctors and adults can fix anything.

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    • allwet

      Coffee and Tea drinkers Rejoice
      https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-45540-1
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • CJ.  »  BrendaIsela

      Did you go through with the DS? How are you making out?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • MrsGamgee

      Well, long time no see. 
      It's been a rough couple of weeks. I should have been expecting the other shoe to drop after having it so easy for the first three weeks post op. I was getting my water and protein easily, had no pain, nausea, or vomiting.
      But as soon as the soft foods really started in earnest I started having problems. Pain, foamies, slimeys, vomiting galore. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to it. Something that I ate easily yesterday causes pain and vomiting after the first bite today. Sometimes it's my pills, other times they go down easy. I just don't get it. 
      I'm trying to stay positive. I know this is a season in my life, and things will eventually even out. I'm just so tired of being afraid to eat, not knowing what kind of response my body will have. I'm mostly hitting my protein target, thanks in large part to protein shakes (which I hate, but look at as medicine). I missed my water targets by a lot over the weekend, due mostly to feeling awful, which I know is a terrible cycle... throw up, don't feel like drinking anything, get dehydrated, get constipated, feel like crap, repeat. 
      The three-week stall is also still here. I thought I had busted through it, but I've been bouncing between 216-219 for the last two and a half weeks, which is a contributing factor to my mood and frustration level. And add in wee-lings who are going crazy with end of the school year insanity, friends with busy schedules who I haven't been able to see in weeks, and I'm an unhappy girl. 
      Things will turn around. I know they will. Just not feeling it at this moment. 
      · 7 replies
      1. ms.sss

        hope things get better with the slowing down and the water-prioritizing. keep us posted :1007_hearts:

        small tip: I used the timer on my watch religiously between bites in the early days (actually I still do, but I'm a lot less rigid about it now), it really helped keep the foamies/slimies/pain/barfing at bay by helping me slow down.

      2. FluffyChix

        Oh wow. Just read of your struggles! So sorry to hear it hon! ((hugs)) It's no fun when the stalls hit, makes bearing other parts of this journey really tough. Added to the fact that most of us experience mood swings/sadness that is usually transitory for most of us. But it still just makes it that much harder.

        I promise the stall will break. If that helps? ((hugs))

        Also, maybe concentrate on upping your water and hitting it consistently? The reason I say that is cuz it will make eating that much easier/pleasant. And the up side to that is with every real meal you have, you're training your tool to accept solid foods again. And being well hydrated makes your pouch less "tricky" and finicky. You know?

        Try varying the temperature of the fluids you drink. I remember cold water was not my friend. I did better on room temp or warm liquids.

        Also, the protein drinks may be contributing a little to your stall. I know I lost better after I really reduced them to very little. I'm very IR, and whey protein isolate is very insulinogenic.

        Hang in there. I promise, in 2-3 weeks, things will feel so much better!!

      3. MrsGamgee

        Thanks @FluffyChix! I know the stall will break, it has to eventually given I'm only consuming 700ish calories a day and I am trying to be active every day. I confess it's hard to be motivated to go for a walk though when I feel like crap.

        Cold water seems to be better for me right now... icy anything makes my tummy happy. It's when my water gets to room temp that it is harder to get down. But I am committed to getting my water in. It's so funny, before surgery I never had a problem with water. Today I decided that I won't count my 'other fluids' as part of my water total... they have to be over and above my target.

        I'm looking forward to lowering my reliance on the shakes. I really don't like them. I got clearance with my RD to cut back on them, provided I can hit at least 80g of protein without them. But I haven't been able to manage that just yet. I'm hoping in the next few weeks, provided I can get real foods to go down and stay down.

        Thanks for the encouragement!

      4. FluffyChix

        80 grams without protein shakes at your stage feels very ambitious IMHO? Are you sure she didn't mean 80g including protein drinks and food sources?

        We all heal so uniquely! :( Don't rush advancing. I know it's hard not to, but your tum will heal easier if you just listen to it and what it will and won't allow for the day.

        Gosh I so get the motivation of the scale!!! ((hugs)) With one reading I can determine my mood for the day. LOL. Then I wait a bit and have a nice poop. ;) haha Mood restored. ;) I'm ever just one solid poop away from a good mood. hehe

      5. MrsGamgee

        She was pretty clear... I asked about cutting back on them last week and I'm guessing she wanted to encourage me to continue with the protein shakes without actually saying so. Making it my decision. I have 2 shakes a day, plus some protein powder in my breakfast, so I'm hoping to maybe drop one shake a day in a couple of weeks. I'm really not into the lack of satisfaction they provide for the calories they take up in my daily totals.

        I *know* that this is just a step on the road. I need to put on my big girl undies and deal with it. And I need to really learn to listen to my body and not push too far too fast.

      6. View All Replies
    • dmadms  »  ARMoma45

      I saw the post where you were denied the first time because you lost to much weight.  How much did you lose?  I lost 1 # my 2nd month and 6# my third month and scared to death I have screwed up.  
       
      Thanks
      Dana
      · 1 reply
      1. ARMoma45

        I lost 11% of my body weight and they wanted me to fail to lose 10%. I even called the insurance company and asked them to clarify because the wording was confusing. I didn't know if they wanted me to lose the 10% or fail to lose the 10%. I was told to lose 10% so I did and apparently the person that I spoke to wasn't correct. But also this was in December and my company was scheduled to change to a different division of BCBS after the first of the year. So that probably played more into the denial than anything.

        I continued my monthly visits and they clearly showed that I plateaued about month 5/6 and began to regain. I originally lost from 333 to 298 and regained back up to 330 but have now lost back down to 318.

    • allwet

      · 1 reply
      1. Orchids&Dragons

        As a tea-a-holic, I'm happy to hear this. Thanks!

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