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I haven't told anyone about my surgery



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I told a couple of people, cousin and sister-in-law, along with my immediate family. I knew the word would spread with the cousin and sister-in-law. But now I regret it. The questions about my weight loss is discouraging because it’s very very slow, slower than weight watchers. 1/15/19 surgery and struggling to get to 35 lbs. Its a constant battle just like it always has been. So I’m hating the judgement as to why I don’t look like I’ve lost weight. I also told my best friend just prior to the surgery and her response was “that’s a bit extreme isn’t it?” She has since lied to me to get out of plans we made and is snarky with me. I haven’t seen her since before the surgery so I’m guessing the friendship is over. If I hadn’t told her she wouldn’t even have a clue that I did it. Now I have to face seeing all my family at an upcoming wedding and I’m sure they’ll be shocked that I don’t look any different and I’m sure the questions will come. I should have kept it to myself because now I feel like even a bigger failure.

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I’ve told my boss that I am starting this process, but she is amazing and super supportive. I’m not telling any coworkers and I’m not worried that my boss will.... I’ve told my mom and dad but I’m on the fence about my husbands family. They are super judgmental and bossy. They’d try to talk me out of it so I would still be the fat one in the family.... sorry, I’m not here to bolster your ego!

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I’m having my gastric sleeve in October. I had the gastric ball a year ago and got soooo much flack from my family for having that. I’m not telling a single soul. Not my family, not my boyfriend, not work. I’ll just tell my work that I’m having minor surgery and since I’m self-paying, get a doctors note to excuse me for time off and as for my family, I’ll just keep quiet and if it comes up, just casually mention I had hernia surgery or something along those lines and I’m working out and new diet.

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It's Your choice, your Right to Privacy, and Someday down the Road You Want to tell Them, well that's Your Choice Also. But Good Luck and We are always here if you Want to Talk.

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Haven't told anybody. Not going to either.

Had my surgery abroad and travelled alone. It is normal for me to be away on a buisness trip ;)

The kicker is: 2 can keep a secret if 1 of them is dead. So if you tell anyone, and I mean like anyone - even husband or mother, somewhere, somehow they are gonna say something to someone and the gossip will begin.

Maybe I am slightly ashamed. But I think more than anything, I appreciate having control over things, and if I didn't tell anybody then noone would get disapointed if I didn't loose weight and I don't have to live up to anyones expectations.

As for the scaring, well - I slabber them with retinol every night so they are almost gone.

Edited by MsMocie

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I have kept mine a secret no one needs to know my business unless I want them to and I choose not :)

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I don’t want to even tell my husband (of 9years and 4 children)and I’ve just been approved for surgery .... I’ve had some womanly surgeries and gallbladder problems in the past so I’m hoping to just play it off as that. 😬 . He is very supportive but I just really need this to be for myself...I don’t know if that makes sense.

I don’t know if he will catch on 🤷‍♀️ I am the only MO person in the family and no one has had WLS that he knows ...

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On 10/10/2019 at 9:40 AM, MsMocie said:

Haven't told anybody. Not going to either.

Had my surgery abroad and travelled alone. It is normal for me to be away on a buisness trip ;)

The kicker is: 2 can keep a secret if 1 of them is dead. So if you tell anyone, and I mean like anyone - even husband or mother, somewhere, somehow they are gonna say something to someone and the gossip will begin.

Maybe I am slightly ashamed. But I think more than anything, I appreciate having control over things, and if I didn't tell anybody then noone would get disapointed if I didn't loose weight and I don't have to live up to anyones expectations.

As for the scaring, well - I slabber them with retinol every night so they are almost gone.

I'm revisiting this thread and I'm just getting my mental ready for surgery on the 31st.

I relate to so many responses on this thread and I'm quoting you, because I may be slightly ashamed as well. I do like to have control over my narrative. The ppl are going to talk about me anyways, so I may as well live to my fullest potential.

Also, I find that some of my friends and family and colleagues are very negative in regards to wls. This is unfortunate for them. I will not be the poster child to reform them either, sorry. This is a very personal long overdue decision for me. I do have a support system, thankfully. Its very small and select.

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I have told no one about surgery. Going abroad for it and the clinic are happy that you are on your own. I am embarrassed I have got to this point but think this tool will help not only with weight loss success but also self esteem, confidence issues. I’m doing something for me for a change and don’t need the judgements that go with it.
A few issues have cropped up: sisters wedding a week after surgery - might be feeling under the weather and although I’ll go, won’t be able to eat the meal!
Holiday less than 3 months after surgery with folks - not convinced I’ll be in a structured enough routine so will cancel due to work reasons and go in Nov instead.
Start a new job 1.5 weeks after surgery - they don’t know me yet so hoping as I get stronger I look like I am finding my feet.
All these things increase stress and I think maybe I should tell someone but this is my journey. I may change my mind later on this journey but for now I am trying to find as much support online and via groups as possible.

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I told my friends, family and Co workers. But didn’t announce it on social media. If someone asks me I tell them but I am almost 3 years or so weight has stabilized and I’m going to lose anymore I have to start a work our routine or do a few weeks of Keto. So now when people ask if I’ve lost some weight I tell them what I’m currently doing. There is nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself. Your medical history doesn’t have to be anyone else’s business, just like you wouldn’t have to share with anyone else if you took a pregnancy test. Keep up the great work and remember you did this surgery for yourself not to make anyone else feel differently toward you.

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